


The Kids Are Not Alright

by not_a_bat



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:24:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 85,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_a_bat/pseuds/not_a_bat
Summary: Despite everything that has gone wrong in her family, Waverly Earp is determined to move past Purgatory and make the most of her college experience.  The only thing holding her back is her boyfriend Champ, and ever absent sister Wynonna.  Focused on school, work, and her band, Nicole Haught can only hope her ex-girlfriend and roommate Shae can reign in those pesky lingering emotions and finally quell all that awkwardness.When the two meet, everything is primed for what is sure to be a once in a lifetime romance.  But before they can find their happily ever after, Wynonna returns and Shae heads straight for self destruction.  With everything going wrong, can Waverly and Nicole find a way together, or will their yet unformed relationship be lost to the chaos.





	1. The Curious Case of the College Collision

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Earpers! Whelp, I finally pulled myself back into the current... this is the first fic I've written in 5 years. Yes, five whole years. I might have gotten a wee bit distracted what with the life and all, you know how it goes. Unless you are reading this from "The Beyond"... in which case, my condolences.   
> There is no set chapter count yet, but I'm looking for roughly twenty. I have six chapters written to date, which is good for us both seeing as my goal is to post one a week, and I've been known to sometimes maybe sorta not do all the things.   
> As for the story itself, well, there be fluff, but the angst will come, don't you worry. Shit will, as they say, go down. Seeing as these people have a butt ton (actual unit of measurement btw, in case any of you are currently frowning at my delicate wording) of problems, there will be some things that may not be for everyone. There be death and mental health struggles ahead. For anyone who is unsure if the material is for them, feel free to reach out and I'll make sure you get the details on triggers.  
> Now, off to the reading...

-Thump-

“Shit.” Waverly sputtered out, immediately dropping down to pick up the scattered papers. Another pair of hands shot into view, matching her efforts. The duo made quick work, collecting every last page. One of the other hands reached out to offer up the stack. Waverly graciously took her papers back, only glancing up to take in the stranger once the entirety of her work had been resettled in the crook of her arm.

The ‘thanks’ on the edge of her lips fell away as she caught sight of the woman glancing down tentatively at her. Fiery red hair stuck out at odd angles as if she had been running fingers nervously through short locks, wireless headphones sat draped around a slender, pale neck, a small lip ring caught the light from the overhead fluorescents. She was tall, and stunning, god was she stunning. Waverly felt her throat tighten as she struggled to speak, words forgotten in the rush of adrenaline that seemed to have flooded her system with no warning.

“You okay there?” It was a gentle voice, but sure and strong. She let it float about in the air for a moment, forgetting a response was expected. When the stranger quirked an eyebrow in her direction, not quite managing to appear completely unconcerned, she finally squeezed out an unfamiliar voice of her own. She cleared her throat and tried again.

“Uh, yeah. You’re fine. I, I mean, I’m fine. Yup. Just peachy.” What the hell was that? Peachy? Really?

A soft chuckle brought her back in the present. The woman rocked back on her heels a bit, hands stuffing themselves into the front pockets of black skinny jeans. And that’s about where Waverly lost her sense of self again. Those damn jeans. She knew she looked good in skinny jeans, but fuck…she didn’t compare to how they looked on the mystery woman. Especially given the high-top Chucks, white loose fit tee, and forest green bomber jacket accompanying those jeans. How could anyone make such a casual outfit look so damn good?

“Well, if you’re sure you are still in one piece, I’ll leave you to it.” She shook out a nod, barely managing not to blatantly stare. The woman just nodded back, seeming to accept Waverly’s near nonexistent response as satisfactory, looking back just once with a sideways smile before the door shut behind her.

It took nearly a full minute after the door latch clicked for the young brunette to realize the stranger had headed out of the room, leaving her alone in the near dark. She shifted her weight, repositioning her books and papers before heading out the same door.

The library was all but deserted at this hour. A few students lingered in corners, exhaustion and stress fighting for their rightful place in the expressions on their faces. That certainly wasn’t unfamiliar. She knew she had overdone it this semester, loading up on far too many credits. Each semester she pushed just a bit more, reasoning with herself that if she made it through the last she could stand to add just one more class or independent study to her schedule. And without fail, every semester she was smacked face first with the memory of the sleepless nights and rushed papers, but somehow only just after the drop deadline had passed. This semester was no exception.

The chill of the early fall night air hit her lungs, waking her up just a bit, enough to make the walk back to her room bearable. And then she spotted that red hair just ahead. Without thinking, she shot out in a jog, struggling to keep a firm hold on all the crap in her hands as it jostled about. She felt herself losing a grip on her history text and realized she’d never catch up without sacrificing something in her hands.

“Hey!” She heard herself shout, unaware she had made the decision until her voice echoed back at her. The woman slowed and turned, head tilting in what likely was confusion. What was wrong with her… First, she bulldozed her as she rushed out from between the stacks, then lost any sort of composure in the wake of the collision and now here she was, shouting after her in the dark for no reason. “I’m Waverly!” And of course, there was more, because shouting your name at some stranger in the middle of a deserted section of campus was totally normal…

“Uh…” Yeahhhhh, that seems about right. “Sorry, are you shouting at me?!” The girl asked back, voice raised to reach back to the instigator.

“Oh, um, I guess so?” Waverly offered, close enough now not to require such an ungodly volume. “I don’t know what is wrong with me tonight.” She laughed out nervously. “I’m not normally such a spaz.”

“Well, as long as you’re sure I didn’t concuss you back there…” Waverly blushed in embarrassment, luckily lost in the darkness of the night.

“I don’t think so, though that leaves me without much excuse for my behavior.” They were an arm’s length away now, back to the more familiar distance from the library. “I suppose I owe you an apology though.”

“No worries.” A warm smile found its way on the woman’s lips. And there she was staring at that damn lip ring again. “Though I suppose for the safety of all involved, next time you want to get close to someone, maybe just ask them out for coffee first.”

“What?!!” ‘The hell did that mean?’ she finished internally. “I, uh, I what?”

“You can relax, I’m just joking.” That gentle smile reappeared, a slight tug to one side, bringing out a brilliant dimple. “I’ll see you around Waverly.” The woman turned and walked off, throwing one last comment over her shoulder as she went, “Next time you run me down maybe it can be at the coffee shop on 4th.” And then she was gone.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Her bag hit the floor with an ungodly thud. She sighed as her back came to rest against the back of the door before sliding down to sit on the floor. Her stress levels were still at a high, but there was a gentle tingle running through her limbs that stemmed any immediate worries. A giggle slipped out from her lips followed by a smile so intense it physically hurt. What was wrong with her? Sure, she was a bit more sleep deprived than usual what with the six papers due in the past four days, but nothing she couldn’t get through. This type of unexplained giddiness usually didn’t kick in until finals.

The sudden shove of the door against her back snapped her straight out of her funk. “In front of the door! Hold on!” She grudgingly slid to the right to make room, shoving her bag out of the way as she went. Once the path was clear she reached up and unlatched the door herself, letting Chrissy into their room.

Chrissy stomped in, looking around for her before noticing her new residence on the floor. “Whoa, uh, Waves, what the hell is up with you? Last time I found you on the floor you had ingested two brownies Wynonna had failed to mention were laced with weed.” 

Waverly’s head fell into her hands, flashes of that night flitting through her memories. “Uggh, could you please not remind me of that.”

Chrissy laughed and shut the door, dropping into place beside her. “So, is this a bad paper kind of thing or a Champ thing?”

Oh god, she had completely forgotten about him. It had been nearly two weeks since they had spent any time together, almost a full week since they had even spoken. Normally she would be upset by this realization but for whatever reason she didn’t care at all. “Neither” she finally answered. “I just feel kind of out of it tonight. Literally ran into some random chick in the library earlier.”

“Like literally, literally?” Chrissy reached out to grab the half empty bottle of vodka from under her bed. She managed to right herself unaided with a grunt and plucked the top from the bottle, taking a long draw from it before handing the booze over to her roommate.

“Yeah. My dumb ass ran smack into her rounding a corner, shit went everywhere. Pretty sure she thought I was a nut job.” She drank heavily from the bottle, passing it back as she wiped her mouth dry with the back of her free hand.

Chrissy took the bottle and sipped gingerly before recapping it and placing it on the floor between them. “Why would she think you were a nut job just because you ran into her?”

“Not because I ran into her.” She thought back, trying to estimate exactly how long she had mumbled about looking for her words, stunned into silence for some unknown reason. All she seemed capable of remembering was the was her eyes kept focusing on the redhead’s piercing. “I must have hit my head or something because I just stared at her like a maniac.” Chrissy shrugged at her as if to say, ‘so what’. “And then, get this, I followed her out of the library and then shouted my name at her.”

The blonde stared back at her, eyes widening. “Uh…”

Waverly cut her off before she could say anything. “Yeah, and this chick just like kept asking if I was okay.”

“Well, I mean, if someone acted that weird with me, after running into me, I probably would think they were a bit off, or completely off their rocker…so.”

“Thanks.” She felt her eyes roll at her friend. “But I don’t think she thought I was ‘a bit off’ as you put it. In fact, I’m pretty sure she hit on me.”

Chrissy’s eyebrows arched up, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she plucked the bottle from the ground and removed the lid, immediately passing it over to Waverly. The alcohol burned as she drank but the look on her friend’s face sobered her as quickly as the vodka went down.

“So, did she like, ask you out, or…” Waverly let her head roll back and rest against the wall. Her eyes wandered, flickering across the slight imperfections on the ceiling.

“Not exactly.” What exactly had that been after all? The redhead hadn’t straight up asked her out, but it was at least flirting, right? She had implied they should get coffee, sort of. Had she? “I don’t think so at least.”

“Okay.” She snatched the bottle back and took a drink before continuing. “So, let’s say she did ask you out, or flirt, or whatever…why the hell are you on the floor then?” Waverly shrugged in response, closing her eyes and rocking her head back and forth against the drywall. Why was she sitting here, she certainly didn’t know. “Well, look, Waves, I’ve known you for like your whole life and I know you aren’t homophobic, and it wouldn’t be the first time some girl has hit on you, so I know you aren’t like weirded out or anything.”

“Well, no, of course not.” That much should be obvious. “It’s not that.”

“Was she creepy about it?”

“Jesus, no. She was really nice.” Almost too nice really. Waverly had been a hot mess and that poor woman had only cared that she had been okay, not seeming to be bothered by her bizarre behavior. 

“So, not freaked out, not creepy.” Chrissy took a moment, drinking from the bottle one last time before capping it and rolling back into place beneath her bed. “Was she hot?”

“What!” Waverly swiveled her head round to face Chrissy so fast she thought she might snap her own neck. “What does that matter?”

The blonde laughed and shook her head as if confirming something. “That answers that.” She stood from her spot on the floor and grabbed her keys from off her desk. “Look, I need to go grab a coffee and then head to a friend’s, want to come with, get your head back in order?”

“No, I have to finish up some work and then get to bed. Go on without me.” She grabbed the proffered hand and rose to full (albeit short) height. Chrissy quickly kissed her cheek and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze as she opened the door again. Just as Waverly was turning her focus back to the bag on the floor she heard Chrissy’s voice again. “Hey Waves, there’s no shame in having a girl crush.” 

With that the door shut with a snap and she was left alone with her thoughts. Of course, her friend had been unable to just let it be. Fucking girl crush? Obviously, that wasn’t what this was. I mean she doesn’t even know her, or her name for that matter. Why hadn’t she asked for her name? Disappointment fluttered briefly about, making her question if maybe, just maybe there was some sort of weird straight girl crush after all. I mean, those things happen, right? It wouldn’t be unusual or anything. She was hot, like really, really, hot. “Uggh, fuck this,” she swore, grabbing her bag, determined to focus on her schoolwork.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Her hand was killing her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had taken so many notes in a class. For the third time in an hour she stopped to shake her hand out, hoping to regain some feeling and lessen the cramps. She turned her left wrist towards her face, checking the time. Only a few more minutes and she would be free from this hell. It wasn’t that Nicole didn’t like school, in fact she loved it, but this professor was a fucking tool. There had yet to be a single class where he didn’t say some cringy sexist or casually racist comment. By the looks on her classmates’ faces, they either had zoned it out, or didn’t care. Probably a good mix of the two unfortunately. 

She rushed to jot down their new assignment, hoping to make it out the room before getting caught up in the gaggle of jocks that tended to bro out in front of the door every damn time. Just as she was swinging her backpack around a hand grasped her elbow. Confused and just a little frustrated, she turned towards the guy still clutching at her.

“Hey, you’re Nicole, right?” The boy asked. She didn’t even have time to reply before he plowed on. “So, look, I know you did well on the last exam. I’ve been too busy to study with hockey and all, and my coach says I need to get a C on the next exam or I’m on academic probation. I was thinking maybe you’d be happy to tutor me if I took you out or something.”

“Uh…” Was this boy-man really offering her a date as payment for tutoring him? “Look, dude, I’m not interested in this…arrangement. There is a study group on Tuesday nights at 7 in the library though if you want some help. I usually go before exams.”

“Yeah, that’s not really my thing.” His hand slid up her arm, fingertips dancing along her shoulder.

She reached up and plucked his hand off her. “This isn’t really my thing.” She almost laughed when he looked offended. Instead she stuffed it down, opting for an awkward grimace. The boy walked off with a muttered ‘bitch’. Her eyes rolled hard but she couldn’t say she was surprised by his reaction. It didn’t take a genius to figure that a guy who thought it was okay to grab a woman and offer her some sort of date in exchange for a service would resort to calling her a bitch. Thank god for women.

She snuck behind the crowd of jocks in the door and came out the other side only a bit more pissed than she had been. Adjusting the straps of her bag, she headed off for the coffee shop. It was only a few weeks into the semester but already she was resulting to regular caffeine fixes. Her mind wandered back to last night and the girl in the library, Waverly. It had been an unusual way to meet someone, but she hadn’t regretted it. Something about the other woman had thrown her off balance. Sure, she was confident, but she hadn’t ever really been the type to just flirt so brazenly with some stranger. 

The cold autumn rain shook her back from her daydream. Of course it would be raining, she wasn’t already cranky enough and now she had to trek through this mess to get her coffee. Maybe it would just be best to head back and work on some homework, or that damn paper that she kept putting off. Then again, you never know who could be getting coffee, like a certain tiny brunette. I mean, what if she decided to look for her after all? She had mentioned this specific coffee shop. It would be rude to just not go, right? It was a thinly veiled excuse, one she knew was bullshit. There was like a zero percent chance of the girl going to look for her and it’s not like she could be expected to just wait around all day every day for her, but just in case, she decided it was worth the trip through the rain.

It came as no surprise when the coffee shop was devoid of any pretty young brunettes named Waverly but there was still a slight regret at the realization. It had been silly to get hopeful, but she had been unable to go more than 15 minutes since waking without wondering what she was doing, where she was, if she had thought about her at all. Waverly was a stranger, all she knew was her name and that she went to school here, so why she couldn’t get her out of her mind was beyond her. So she sat cradling her coffee, watching the rest of the world pass by through the rain on the windows. 

Her mind was so far off that she almost didn’t notice the very person plaguing her thoughts walk by the shop. She shot out of her seat, chair scrapping against the hardwood floors so loudly the neighboring tables glanced her way with disapproval. She offered a halfhearted ‘sorry’ as she snatched up her bag and rushed out the door. Waverly was already out of range but Nicole was anything but sluggish. She took off at a brisk jog, trying to weave between the other pedestrians without knocking them or herself down. She felt relief flood her when the other girl took a turn off the sidewalk and into a large stretch of grass. There was still a considerable amount of distance between the pair but at least there wouldn’t be a bunch of other people blocking her way. The second her shoes hit the grass she took off at a near sprint, stopping only when she was in shouting range.

“Waverly!” With how out of breath she was it was a wonder her voice came out as loud as it did, and yet it didn’t appear to have reached the other woman. She bent over, trying to catch her breath for a quick second and tried again. “Waverly!” Finally, the brunette turned and if she wasn’t mistaken, smiled. “I’m Nicole!” She shouted across the grass at her. There was no mistaking that smile. She couldn’t help but grin like a fool back at her, breath still coming in gasps. She hunched over again, watching as her new acquaintance retraced her steps back towards the winded redhead.

“Nicole, huh?” She asked when she was only a few feet away. “I was wondering if I’d ever know who I had shout-introduced myself to.”

Nicole stood back up, dimples popping from the pull of her smile. “Well, at least now you aren’t alone in that.” The pair chuckled softly in tandem at the comment. Nicole brushed her flyaway hair behind her ear. How is it both times she had come across her, her hair had been a train wreck? Well, this time was fairly obvious, what with the sprinting through campus and all. “Sorry to rush you like that. I don’t know what I was thinking. I saw you pass by the coffee shop and I just couldn’t not for some reason.”

“I kinda get that.” She laughed out. Nicole suddenly remembered how Waverly had followed her out from the library the night before and felt a little less like a crazy stalker. “This wouldn’t happen to be the same coffee shop you mentioned yesterday?”

“Actually, it was. I like to go there after my morning class.” She wasn’t about to mention that this particular time she had gone in the slight chance Waverly would stop in.

“Good to know.” Nicole barely heard the response and couldn’t help but blush, even if it likely hadn’t been intentionally said out loud. “I should get going though. I have a seminar in a few, so…”

“Right, yeah, sorry. You probably didn’t need some crazy person running after you before your class.” Waverly shook her head with a smile. “Well, until next time then.”

“Until next time.” The brunette took a step backwards before turning towards the history building. “Oh, Nicole?” She looked back. “It was nice to meet you. Again.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

If her morning class had been difficult to get through, it didn’t compare to her chem lab that afternoon. Normally she loved lab. It was the one time of the week she got to do something other than sit through lectures. She had happily signed up for the class when she found out it fit her schedule. In fact, she had been resigned to a geology class for her science requirement before the day of her law seminar was changed, thankfully. Today however, she struggled not to set her lab coat on fire. For the second time. Her lab partner had already yelled at her once, not that she blamed him, she had been reckless after all, but she didn’t intend to give him a reason to repeat it. After the third near miss of the day, he finally sat her down on a stool and insisted she didn’t touch anything else. Fair. At this rate, she’d be likely to blow the whole place up, but if there was one upside it was she now had unfettered access to her daydreams with no risk to life or limb. 

Images of the small brown haired beauty danced through her mind. She wondered what her hair smelled like, what her hands felt like, if they were as soft as she thought they would be. Why had she never seen her around campus before? She had gone into the history building, so maybe she was a history major, or history adjacent? Maybe she wasn’t even a student. She could be here visiting someone, or she could work here in some capacity. But she was so young, and of course there was the comment about the class she was on the way to. It was most likely they just had very different schedules and haunts. It was out of the ordinary for her to be at the library at that time of night. Usually she went in the mornings when most people were still asleep or fighting off their hangovers. Maybe Waverly was a night owl. She didn’t seem like the jock type or someone who went to frat parties, then again neither did she. So, what seemed like her thing? Based on the books and papers the only clue she had was she had a lot of schoolwork. 

She thought hard about those papers, remembering she had glanced at them as she pulled them off the library floor. There had been something about indigenous populations, so history sounded right, or cultural studies. Maybe languages? A wave of heat rippled through her chest at the thought of the petite woman speaking to her in some romantic foreign language. Even better, thoughts of the two of them nuzzled together in the shadows, sheltered from the strangers wandering some European city streets around them. A series of cities flashed into place in her fantasy, from the obvious choices like Paris and Rome, to some less common like Prague and Stockholm. Or of them adventuring together through the jungles of South America and South East Asia, climbing through the Andes or Himalayas, volunteering in African nature preserves… 

Balled up gloves slapped her straight in the face, snapping her rudely from her daydream. The room was nearly empty, save for her lab partner who did not exactly look guilty for having attacked her with what hopefully was unused gloves. She shot a disapproving look over at her attacker before slipping from her perch to collect her stuff. At least her day was free from classes now. Seeing as her mind currently seemed incapable of focusing on anything remotely academic, it was probably for the best. Haphazardly shoving the last of her things into the bag, she debated heading for the library or going back to her room to nap. Given the success rate so far, she doubted she would be able to concentrate any better outside of the classroom, so it sounded like a nap was the better choice. Maybe after a quick reset she would have her sanity back.

Nicole found herself searching for Waverly in everyone she passed on the way back to her room. She doubted she would luck into seeing her so soon after their last run in, but you never know… or so she told herself. It was only once she stood in front of her door, disappointment seeping in, did she realize how badly she wanted to see her. What was going on with her? She had barely spoken to Waverly and yet she had firmly roosted in her mind. She shook her head and stuffed herself into her room in a rush, accidentally slamming the door behind her in her frustration.

“Uh….” 

Nicole buried her face in her hands, rubbing at her eyes aggressively. “Shit, sorry about that. I’m in a bit of a funk. Nothing a good nap can’t fix!”

“If you say so.” Shae’s voice seemed even more concerned that it had when she first entered the room. An uncomfortable silence settled over the room making Nicole wish she was back in the hallway with her slight panic. “Nicky…” She didn’t reply. “What is wrong, huh?”

“Nothing, just a weird day.” She slid the bag from her shoulders, setting it gently down at the end of her bed. She really wished Shae would stop using that nickname. “Just need to hit reset I think.” She didn’t need to look her way to know the other woman’s eyes were trained on her, likely with that sad puppy look that never failed to guilt Nicole into spilling her secrets. “I think I’ll just have a nap now.”

“I guess I should leave you to it then…let you sleep?” Nicole nodded and made herself busy grabbing some sweats and a ratty old t-shirt to change into, ensuring she wouldn’t need to actually look over to the other side of the room. She let out a shaky breath at the sound of the door latching again, finally allowing herself to look around freely. If there was ever anything in the future she regretted more than agreeing to room with her now ex-girlfriend she would probably just die instead. It wasn’t that Shae wasn’t trying her best to make the situation bearable for them both, because she was, the woman was a saint, but Nicole just felt so uncomfortable. It was obvious Shae still had serious feelings for her, but Nicole just couldn’t love her like she wanted, and it became clear far too late that things just wouldn’t work between them. So now they were stuck together for the rest of the year, or until one of them cracked and broke the last semblance of the illusion that this whole situation wasn’t just a miserable mess, and filled out a change in roommate request form. It didn’t help that every subtle query amongst her friends led nowhere; it seemed somehow, everyone was happy with their roommates.

Anxiety welled up as she crawled into bed. The last thing she wanted was to break Shae’s heart even more than she already had, but she wasn’t sure how much longer they could keep dancing around each other. And what of Waverly? Even if they ran into each other again, would Nicole really ask her out like she (really) wanted to? Was Waverly even interested in women, and if she was, would she be interested in her? And what if she was…it’s not as if she would be able to bring her around with the whole Shae situation looming over her the way it was. She couldn’t picture it going over well bringing her over. ‘Oh, hey Shae. You know how you are like super in love with me and I’m not, and now we live in this hellacious nightmare together like some sort of bitterly unhappy married couple who can’t seem to admit they actually need a divorce…well I’m going to make it worse by infinity…because this is my new girlfriend Waverly and we need you to leave so we can do things together here in our room and now you have to think about that all night and probably cry and I’m actually the worst person ever and…’ She shut her internal monologue down with a groan, flopping over in bed. Sleep would not be coming easily.


	2. The Band, The Boyfriend, and The Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whether you like it or you don't  
> Sometimes we live alone  
> If we can find a little hope  
> We can make it on our own
> 
> -You & I // RHODES

“Hey Red!” Seriously? There was nothing she hated more than when people thought it was okay to call her Red, well maybe when they called her some unoriginal Haught-based name, but Red was still annoying. She felt her muscles tighten slightly in irritation before turning around to face the disembodied voice. The woman looked a little hard around the edges, like she was ready to run at a moment’s notice. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had stumbled into the bar hoping to score, and by the look of the chick in front of her, she guessed she was about to be propositioned yet again. It’s not like there weren’t drugs to be found here, likely there were plenty, but she really wasn’t the type to find it for someone.

“Yeah?” It came out only a little barbed, so she’d take it as a win. “What can I get you?” Hopefully it would just be a drink, but she wasn’t counting on it.

“You play here, right?” Well at least it wasn’t drugs. She gave a curt nod, still not feeling overly enthused by the interaction. “I thought so. I think I saw you here a couple weeks ago. Didn’t know you worked here too.”

“A lot of us do. Almost every band that plays here regularly has at least one member who works the door or the bar.” Apparently, she was no exception. She couldn’t complain too much. As far as college jobs go, this one had plenty of perks and only a few losses. The pay was pretty good and the crowd wasn’t too concerned about the quality of service as long as their drinks were strong, easy enough. The owner was more laid back than most of the employees, and since they all (almost all) played there, there didn’t tend to be much friction between the bands and the employees. It helped to have each other’s backs when things got rowdy, the rowdiness being one of the few downfalls. 

“Makes sense. Well, look, I’m playing here in a few weeks and one of our guys got himself in a bit of trouble with the law. Looks like we are in need of a bit of extra help. I asked around and was pointed in your direction; you play guitar, right?” Definitely not the request she had anticipated.

“Uh, yeah. It’s not my go to, but I play.” 

“Do you think you’d be interested in standing in for a set Saturday after next?” If she wasn’t playing, she was usually working on Saturdays, but it would be a nice change of pace to play with another band for once, maybe help foster some creative energy. 

“I’ll have to check my schedule and move some things around if I’m supposed to be on shift, but I think I can do that.” She jotted down her number on a napkin and shoved it across the bar towards the other woman. “Text me later tomorrow and I’ll give you a final answer once I talk to the boss.”

The woman grabbed the napkin, not bothering to look at it as she folded it in half. “If you don’t suck too bad, we can get you in on a more permanent basis. I’ll send you the info for practice.” Second thinking it, the other woman unfolded the napkin and smirked before shoving it roughly into her jacket. “Talk to you latter Haught-shit.” The eye roll may have gone unnoticed, but there would be no mistaking Nicole’s groan at the lame nickname.

The other woman turned and walked quickly towards the exit before Nicole remembered and shouted after her. “Hey, what the hell is your name?” 

“Wynonna!” 

Nicole turned back to finish inventory, her mind now focused on something other than Waverly for the first time all week. At least now there was something new to look forward to. It would likely end up being a one-time thing, but maybe it could be fun to have another band to step in with on occasion. Things were a little awkward right now anyways, what with Shae’s sister singing with them at the moment. It was tense to say the least, and Nicole had found herself on one too many cold stares during practices lately. She didn’t blame her for it, sisters could be protective and all, but it wasn’t like she had done anything wrong. It would have been worse if she led Shae on and let her think their future was palpable when it really, really wasn’t. But what could she do? It’s not like she could be mad about the whole thing, it just sucked.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly’s week had been utter shit. For the first time ever, like in actual ever, she had forgotten about a paper, only realizing the night before it was due that the damn thing existed. She was a friggin planner, and planners didn’t just forget things like this. So of course, her schedule had been thrown way off. One sleepless night finishing that paper had turned into two when the work scheduled for that night had to be put off for the ‘devil paper’ as it became known. Two nights with no sleep led to her falling asleep in a lecture she had been looking forward to all semester in her favorite class of course. Then she had managed to trip on her way out of her room this morning, spilling hot water for her tea all down her front, and because she had been so desperate for sleep and uncharacteristically snoozed three too many times, she had no spare time to change out of her now wet clothes before her seminar. The very seminar she now sat panicked in because for the second time in a week, she had forgotten an assignment.

She couldn’t help but look for what was likely the thirtieth time at her watch. There were only twenty minutes left and three people yet to talk about their progress. If she was lucky, they might just run out of time before they got to her, saving her from the embarrassment of having nothing to show for the week. The guy across the table from her kept shooting her glances, eyebrows peaked in a silent question. Obviously, her anxiety was evident to at least one other person, great. 

Their advisor shifted some papers around preparing for the next student and Waverly felt physically ill. There was a brief moment where she thought she might actually throw up before the next student was announced and she felt herself relax, just barely, but enough, when she heard a name other than her own. Ten minutes to spare, there was no way she would have time today. Any other day, she would be disappointed, but today it was a fucking blessing.

Fifteen minutes later she found herself standing out in the sun, silently celebrating her narrow escape. Her internal planner was already being filled in with this weekend’s schedule when she walked straight into someone. It had only been a week since the last time she walked into someone, well, more like barreled into them. How did this keep happening to her? She steadied herself before glancing up to apologize. Her words died in her throat instantly. Somehow, she had managed to walk into the same exact person as last time. How did THIS keep happening to her?

“Nicole?” 

The redhead stared at her with a curious smile, seemingly not quite believing the chances of this being a coincidence either. “Waverly.” She shifted her bag, straightening out the slight adjustment it had made during their collision. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you again, but I think there are better ways to get someone’s attention than walking into them… again.”

Her face flushed and she felt herself ducking her head instantly, trying desperately to hide the blush lest she manage to embarrass herself even more than she had already done. “Jesus, I don’t know how I keep doing this. I’m so, so sorry!”

“It’s okay, really. You sure you are okay though? You look a little panicked.” Well that was an epic understatement. 

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Peachy!” That god damn word again? At least it got a laugh out of the redhead. “Fuck, sorry. This is just a mess, isn’t it?”

“Well, I don’t know about that. You did get my attention, so it must have worked.” She teased. At least she hoped it was teasing and Nicole didn’t actually think this was all just some elaborate plot to get them talking. Nicole seemed to realize her teasing didn’t go over too well though because she followed it up with a sweet smile. “You look like you could use a break from everything. What would you say about getting that coffee?”

“I’d love to, uh, like to, but I can’t. I have to meet my boyfriend. I’m sorry.” And she really, really was. The last thing she wanted to do after this shit day was go see Champ. But it had been almost three weeks since they spent any time together and she was running out of viable excuses to postpone. There were only so many times she could use school as an excuse before he stopped listening. Her reluctance to turn down the offer doubled when she saw the brief glint of disappointment flash across Nicole’s face. “Maybe we could do it soon though? The coffee I mean!” Oh god…she really hadn’t meant for it to sound provocative, and it probably didn’t even sound that way but then she had to go and clarify, making it clear that she had thought that, and now Nicole was just smirking and clearly enjoying her internal freak out and now she was just staring at her, and oh shit…

“Hey, you sure you’re okay?” A soft hand reached out and brushed along her upper arm reassuringly. Waverly only managed a nod. “Well, at least let me walk you wherever you are headed.” She should probably say no, but the hand resting against her jacket and the gentle doe eyes piercing through hers made it impossible.

“Okay. I’m just heading back to my room for now, need to drop my school stuff off and change first.” They stood planted firmly in place for another silent twenty seconds before she realized Nicole was waiting on her to start walking to her room. With a less than graceful start, she uprooted herself and turned toward her building. “I’m in Leeman.”

“I’m not far from there.” The redhead supplied. They walked quietly side by side for a few minutes, Nicole glancing nervously at her too often to not notice. “So, what’s your major?”

“Oh, I actually have two. If I had to pick a primary, it would be Cultural Anthropology, but honestly, I love the other just as much, Classical Languages.” She felt herself relax as she talked, giving way too much detail for what had been a simple question, but she could never seem to limit herself when she talked about her studies. For what it was worth though, Nicole seemed to absorb every word, so she continued to explain her classes and future research projects as they walked. It was only as her building came into view up ahead that she forced herself to tapper it off. “Sorry, I know that is a lot, but I really love it, and it isn’t often I get to talk about it with people who haven’t already heard it all from me.”

“No need to apologize. It sounds fascinating. I could never do something like that. Don’t get me wrong, history and languages are interesting, I just really suck at them. I can never seem to remember dates and I can’t retain another language to save my life! I barely had enough French in me to make it through Quebec a few years back, and even that was tough.”

“I’ve never been. I haven’t really done any traveling, so I’m sure you did a lot better than I would have.” They smiled at each other, walking in silence until they were just a few steps from her dorm. “You never did tell me what your major was.” Part of her genuinely wanted to know, but mostly she just wasn’t ready for the conversation to end.

“How about I save that for next time you run me over? I know you’ve got a date to get ready for.” Waverly feigned offence and lightheartedly slapped at the taller woman’s arm.

“Well, I do need to get ready, but it’s only fair you spill too.” She pulled her keycard out to swipe into the building, holding it open as she talked. “Come up?” Nicole flashed her a bright dimpled grin and followed her in.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly’s room was half what Nicole expected: covered in soft throws, warm lights, and books everywhere. The other half, likely her roommate’s doing, was pure chaos. She wondered how someone could live surrounded by it all the time, she certainly couldn’t. Nicole wouldn’t exactly call herself a neat freak, but she was organized well beyond what would be considered tidy. Okay, so maybe she was a neat freak, whatever. One of the few benefits of living with Shae was she was too, so there was that at least.

“Sorry about the mess, Chrissy can be a bit of a walking natural disaster at times.” Waverly offered, waving her hand about in the direction of the clutter. Nicole nodded politely, not really sure it would be appropriate to comment on some girl’s habits when she had likely never met her before. They stood in the middle of the room for a bit awkwardly, neither saying anything further. Nicole busied herself, looking over the books displayed on the desk that must belong to Waverly, while the brunette tidied up the books covering her bed, making room for them to sit. When there was ample space, she pated the covers indicating Nicole should sit. “So, about that major of yours…”

“Right.” She settled herself into her designated seat, noting how cushioned it felt, probably from the four, or was it five blankets thrown over the duvet. “I also have two majors, though not as intense as yours probably are.” Waverly shooed her comment off with another flick of her wrist as she stood in front of the closet, digging through her various options. “I originally started out with just the one, criminal justice, but then I picked up sociology last fall.”

“Oooh, if I had any more time, I’d love to pick that up as a minor!” Waverly’s eyes shone bright with just a hint of something else underneath, maybe jealousy? “That must be really fulfilling. Plus, there’s the added benefit of having a lot of options to work with when you finish here.”

“Well, I’m pretty set on what I want to do, so the options aren’t the main draw.” She still felt a little apprehensive talking about her plans seeing as it was the reason she no longer spoke to her parents, but she felt the words flow out of her nonetheless. “I want to be a cop.”

Waverly stopped her dig and turned to face Nicole. The twinkle in her eyes was gone, replaced with a confusing mix of admiration and fear. That was not the typical reaction she got by any means and it left her stomach fluttering in a way that was not altogether comfortable. “My dad was a cop, sheriff, to be more specific.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but hesitated for a moment before continuing. “He died when I was a kid.”

“On the job?” Was that an okay thing to ask? Probably not, but it was too late to take it back.

“Sort of. It’s a bit of a long story.” Fuck, definitely not a good idea to ask that. She felt her stomach clench with anxiety. Should she apologize and leave? “Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t know.”

“I’m sorry Waverly, I shouldn’t have asked, that was stupid.” Her hands were digging into each other, twisting harshly, her fingers burning.

The smaller girl walked over and sat beside her. “It’s okay, really. Just not something I tend to discuss a lot.” Soft hands reached out and untangled her own, holding them still. Another wave of guilt washed over her. If anyone should be doing the comforting here, it was her, not Waverly. “Why don’t you tell me more about you majors?”

Thankful for the moderate change in subject, Nicole dove in, talking about her classes and what led her to pick up the sociology major. She had known she would do criminal justice but the second one had kind of fallen into place after an elective class she took her freshmen year. She realized if she wanted to be the best cop she could, she owed it to her future community to understand as much as she could, to be more than just blind to the reasons people ended up in the situations they did. She wanted to help people, not just punish them, especially when so many people had to rely on criminal ways to survive their environment. Sociology could help her with that, and there was a small part of her that realized a day might come when she would be unable to walk a beat and it didn’t hurt to have something else to rely on that allowed her to serve the community still. So, she had picked up some extra classes and officially picked up the major the next fall.

Waverly seemed to genuinely be invested in what she said, asking question after question, sometimes to the point Nicole had trouble keeping track of them all, but she loved every minute of it. Something about sharing this with Waverly made it all the better. 

It had been almost twenty minutes before Waverly had found her choice for the night, a lacy pink skirt and cream sweater that didn’t look like it would be long enough to fully cover her torso. Without a word, the girl began stripping off her clothes, leaving Nicole furiously hunting for anything else to occupy her focus, face flushing so hard she thought she might catch fire. When Waverly turned to grab her new outfit, she stopped, obviously noticing Nicole’s distress. “Oh, sorry. I’m so used to talking to Chrissy I didn’t think.” 

“Nope, it’s fine.” Nicole lied. She was far from fine. Gay panic sounded more appropriate. She fiddled with the hem of her t-shirt, still desperately looking anywhere but the half-naked beauty in front of her.

A few moments of quiet passed, only the sound of fabric brushing against skin as Waverly dressed breaking the silence. “You can look up now.” 

“Oh.” It was all she could manage, still embarrassed. She tentatively glanced up to find Waverly in the skirt and sweater and sure enough, it didn’t cover her midriff fully, stopping just shy of her belly button. The tan, flat span of her abs stared down at her and the flush returned along with apparently a full desert in her mouth. Fuck. 

“You okay? You look a little queasy or something.” Waverly stepped over some of Chrissy’s junk to sit on the bed next to Nicole.

“Oh, yeah sorry. Just a bit out of it suddenly I guess. Probably tired is all.” As if. More like trying not to picture all the ways she could make use of the newly exposed skin. ‘Not your place dumbass’ she scolded internally.

Waverly gave her a bit of a knowing smile, which did nothing to calm her pulse. “If you say so.” She stood again, offering a hand to help Nicole off the bed. She took it, rising back to full height and standing way too close to her to make the situation any better. There was a moment where they just stared at each other, something unspoken passing, but what it was, she couldn’t tell. “Well, I should probably head out. Champ will be getting antsy by now.”

“Wait, Champ? As in Champ Hardy?” Because this couldn’t get any worse… 

Waverly gave her a curious look. “Yeah…you know him?”

“Oh, I know him alright.” She felt anger bubble up. 

“Don’t tell me you two dated or something, because that would be too weird.” An unpleasant laugh fell from her lips.

“Uh, no, definitely not!” Waverly’s patience seemed to be running out so she rushed to continue her explanation. “He is in a class of mine.”

“Oh, that’s all. You had me worried for a second.” And just like that her bright smile was back. Gnawing guilt sat deep in her stomach as she debated whether to tell Waverly what had happened the other day. She didn’t really know her very well so she couldn’t tell if it was her place to give her the bad news, if she would take it okay, or if she would even believe it. But Nicole knew she couldn’t lie, even by omission.

“He asked me to tutor him.” The smile was still in place, joined with a look of slight confusion. “In exchange for a date.” And then it was gone. She had expected anger, either at the boy-man or her, depending on if she believed it or not, but she hadn’t expected the look of defeat to appear instead.

“Well, I wish I could say I am surprised, but I’m not.” Waverly turned to grab her coat. “That fucking moron. I swear.” She turned back to face Nicole, anger finally showing. “You know, he slept with two of my friends the first year we dated, and when I found out he swore up and down it would never happen again. And apparently, I’m an idiot because I believed him, and then last year I caught him fooling around with some random townie. So, I said it was over. And it was for a bit, but he came back begging and something in me just couldn’t say no. Thought it was over. It’s been like a year and half now and no sign of anything, but obviously, I’m more of an idiot than I thought.”

“Hey, you aren’t an idiot, he is.” She reached out for one of Waverly hands, grasping it firmly and holding the girl in place, determined to make eye contact. “Seriously Waverly. This isn’t your fault, it’s his and he’s a damn fool to fuck this thing with you up. I hope you see that.” Angry tears fell from the girl in front of her and before she could reason with herself she found herself wiping them away gently. “You deserve better than him.” It was barely a whisper.

“I know.” There were too many tears for her to wipe away so she settled for the next best thing and pulled the crying girl into her, letting her bury her face in the soft fabric of her shirt. They stood embracing until the tears slowed and Waverly pulled back. “Oh god, I’ve totally soaked your shoulder. She wiped at the shirt uselessly, trying to wipe away the tears that had long ago soaked in.

Nicole chuckled softly at the gesture, reaching up to still her hand. “Hey, it’s okay. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Waverly hiccupped, trying to stem to flow of even more tears. “Right. So, I guess that officially makes us friends then?”

“Well I hope so.”

“Me too.” They stood close for another minute before Waverly suddenly broke and snatched her phone off the desk and started typing furiously. Nicole stood rooted to the spot, completely caught off guard at the sudden change in Waverly’s demeanor. The girl was small, but something told her she wasn’t one to mess with. She set the phone back down with a loud clank, probably risking a cracked screen, but she didn’t seem too concerned with it at the moment. Not a minute later the phone lit up, buzzing as it skated across the wood. She glared at it, not making a move to pick it up. Ten seconds after it stopped, the buzzing started up again. Nicole guessed whomever (probably that asshat Champ) was on the receiving end of the text Waverly sent was not too happy with its contents. 

“So, care to get out of here?” Waverly finally snatched the phone back up, stuffing it in her jacket pocket, completely ignoring the third call in as many minutes. “I’m suddenly feeling like a change of plans.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Where they would go, she really didn’t care. She was just glad to see Waverly standing up for herself, or so she assumed, and if she could help by going out for the night with her, then by all means, she wasn’t about to say no. “After you.” She dropped her bag next to Waverly’s and opened the door waiting for the fiery woman to pass before walking out behind her.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The bar was beyond packed. For tonight’s purposes, it was all the better. The last thing she wanted was to stand around in some quiet sad bar thinking about her stupid boyfriend and his stupid cheating ass. The dimwitted moron clearly would never learn his lesson. At least she didn’t have to feel bad about not looking forward to seeing him tonight anymore. Honestly, it was almost a relief when Nicole had told her. She had been fooling herself for too long that this relationship was good for her and now she had the perfect reason to end it. But not tonight. No, it would be better to let him stew for a bit, and she just needed to be far away from him right now. 

Nicole had kindly suggested they go see a show, she knew the band playing, but Waverly just wanted to get drunk and the best place to do that was the dive bar they currently found themselves in. It was a favorite with the local students. Drinks were dirt cheap and you could always count on a having a wild night, which was exactly what she wanted right now.

She left Nicole to scout for a table while she went to grab drinks, offering the casual ‘hey’ to anyone she recognized, happy to have avoided anyone she knew well so far. She placed their order and fished out her card to start a tab when she felt her phone vibrate yet again against her hand. She whipped it out and saw she had amassed 32 texts and seven calls, all from Champ. She opened the texts and without glancing at a single one, tapped on the contact information and promptly blocked his number. She could deal with him later.

She grabbed some random boy to help her carry all the booze over in exchange for a shot on her tab. The two of them found Nicole tapping furiously at her own phone, perched against a pool table, shooting looks at anyone who looked like they might be ready to poach it. Waverly felt herself laugh for the first time since the whole Champ thing came to light at the look on Nicole’s face when she saw just how much alcohol Waverly had brought over. 

“This for us?” She said, indicating the pool table, setting the bottles of beer and several shots of whiskey down on a small table next to the woman. 

“Yeah. Thought it might help to blow off some steam physically as well as drunkenly. But more importantly, is this all for us?” She gestured to the collection of shots the boy set down next to what Waverly had already deposited.

“Yup! Well, almost all.” She plucked two shot glasses off the table and into the hands of the random guy, pushing him unceremoniously from their table with a ‘thanks’. “Drink up!”

Nicole chuckled back at her, but grabbed two shots nonetheless, offering one up to Waverly. She took the glass and clinked it against Nicole’s before downing it and promptly grabbing another. “I probably should warn you. I’m an Earp and we aren’t exactly known for being lightweights. Hope you can keep up.” She pushed another shot towards Nicole with her finger.

“Too late to back out now I suppose.” She lifted the shot up with a nod before tipping it down her throat. “What do you say to a game?”

“You rack, I’ll break.” She took a third shot and winked. The warmth from the whiskey started to settle in. 

“At this rate, I’ll have to make another trip to the bar before we can even get set up.” The redhead threw at her as she slotted the balls into place. Waverly didn’t bother with a response, instead focusing on the long, slender fingers working at arranging the balls in the rack. She felt her body flush, probably from the alcohol, but maybe just a little bit from the woman bent slightly over the table. “All yours.” If only. Whoa, what was that thought? She shook it off and stepped up to break.

Waverly ended up properly kicking Nicole’s ass in the first game, but the second had been much closer (she still won, obviously) thanks to the uneven consumption of whiskey. Nicole had finished one beer and spent the rest of the second game nursing the other, Waverly having told her they weren’t really her thing when she asked. Waverly had finished a few (lol, more than a few) more shots over the course of their games and was teetering between heavily tipsy and drunk. They had found a comfortable banter with each other, and if Waverly cared to be honest, which she didn’t right now, some thinly veiled flirting.

Now just barely into the third game, with a new round of drinks procured between the last and the start of this one, Nicole hunched over, looking at a difficult shot with a furrowed brow. Waverly leaned forward, not whispering as much as she thought she was. “I don’t think you can get it in.” Based on Nicole’s track record so far, the girl was pretty good, but not good enough for this shot. Waverly could probably only make it seven out of ten times.

Nicole closed the distance between the two of them, whispering into Waverly’s ear. “Oh, I don’t really have a problem getting it in, don’t worry.” She was left with her jaw hanging open as Nicole somehow managed to actually make the shot. The redhead turned back to her with a smirk. “Told you.” With a wink, she backed away from the table to make room.

“Well fuck me.” Waverly said to herself. She wasn’t sure if she was more surprised by the miracle shot or Nicole’s comment.

“What was that?” 

“Nothing.” The last thing that woman needed was to hear that comment. She already seemed to do just fine on her own without Waverly supplying her ammunition. 

She heard the quiet ‘mmhm’ from Nicole and swatted her away, clearing her path for the next shot. She quickly sunk two and found herself studying the table, searching for her next shot. “Say, Nicole, what would you say to a little bet?”

“Depends. What is the bet?” She looked intrigued at least. 

Waverly pointed to a ball. “If I make this ball, in the far corner pocket, I win. If not, you win.” 

Nicole looked her over. “There’s no way. Why even make the bet?”

“So, that’s a no?”

“Oh no, that’s a yes. If you can make that shot I’ll do anything you want.” Anything…. that could open a lot of doors, some of which were very tempting right now and she was just drunk enough to consider them. 

“Anything?” She held those brown eyes with her own.

“Anything.” There was a fire in them she hadn’t seen before that boiled her blood and made her head spin. She had seen concern and playfulness in those eyes before, but that fire, that was new, and she wanted more.

She settled into place, pushing herself to concentrate on the shot instead of the tipsy woman staring her down. A deep breath in and out steadied her and she took the shot, watching as it carved out the path she had set in her mind. When the ball went in there was a brief moment where neither or them moved, stood in silent awe. She figured she had a fifty-fifty shot at it, but apparently, she had been on the receiving end of the good fifty percent.

“Holy shit.” Nicole stared at the pocket in disbelief. “Holy fucking shit.” She finally looked up and Waverly felt her muscles tense with nerves. Why she was suddenly so nervous was a question she had less of a chance of nailing down than the impossible shot. “Jesus Christ, Waverly, how the hell did you do that?”

Waverly chose to respond with a smile. “Guess you owe me.”

“I guess I do.” Nicole replied, finally snapping out of shock. “And what exactly is it I owe you?”

She forced her unsteady legs to carry her around the table to where Nicole stood and leaned in to whisper in her ear, just like earlier. “What is it you want to owe me?”

Waverly keep her place, not moving an inch away. Nicole turned towards her, face inches away from hers. “Anything you want from me.” The sincerity in her voice sent chills down her spine and suddenly there were far too many people around them. 

“Wait here.” She whispered before pulling back and off to the bar. She paid the tab and strode back over to the find Nicole staring after her. Grabbing the last two shots, she stuffed one in Nicole’s hand with an order to drink and downed the other. Nicole set her empty glass down with a hard thud. Waverly wasted no time, grabbing Nicole by the wrist and dragging her out into the night.


	3. Enticement and Exes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cursed down, throw my certain doubt, let me let you down.
> 
> -Goodpain // Yoke Lore

Waverly hadn’t let go of her wrist until they were back in her room. The door slammed shut behind them and Nicole couldn’t help but feel a little bad, thinking of Waverly’s neighbors. The room was dark, night having fallen hours ago. Just as she was reaching for the light switch, Waverly clicked on a lamp, lighting the room in a soft amber hue. Everything was just as they had left it earlier, including the lack of roommate. Her head was swimming with whiskey and beer and the possibility of what the night still held. If she was smart, she would grab her backpack off the floor and stumble back to her room, but she was decently drunk and Waverly’s presence was intoxicating, blurring any remaining sense into an indistinguishable mess.

Waverly turned back to face Nicole, looking up at her with a raw energy she couldn’t quite place. If she didn’t know better she would think it was hunger, desire… but it couldn’t be, right? The smaller woman broke their stare first, stepping over the pile of Chrissy’s crap to open her laptop. Nicole stood confused with what was happening, unsure if she should take that as her cue to go but then she heard music and realized Waverly had put on some playlist. She watched the brunette pull open her desk drawer and bring out a bottle of whiskey.

Nicole watched from her spot by the door as Waverly downed a good few shots worth before the bottle was pushed into her hand. Taking the hint, she followed suit and drank heavily, letting the burn in her throat distract her from the flood of emotions swirling violently through her mind. She winced slightly as she recapped the bottle and handed it back.

“I had fun with you tonight.” They hadn’t spoken since the bar and the words felt foreign. She was already regretting them but then Waverly gave her one of those award-winning smiles and blushed.

“I did too. Thanks for keeping me company.” It was her turn to blush, deepening the red in her cheeks from the alcohol.

Waverly reached out and found her hand, intertwining their fingers as she pulled her closer. The pair sat back down in their places from earlier on Waverly’s bed. The bottle reappeared in front of her and Nicole felt her resolve give in immediately, taking it with no resistance. She tipped it back and swallowed a few times before handing it over, wiping her mouth with her free hand. She was really feeling it now. Sure, she had been a bit drunk when they left the bar, but with the addition of the extra whiskey she would be properly drunk in no time.

Waverly set the bottle down with a harsh thud. “Don’t think I forgot.” Confusion set in, and Nicole found herself searching for what she had obviously already forgotten. “You owe me.” Oh shit, that. Right.

She turned and found Waverly’s eyes boring holes into hers. There was no mistaking the hunger now. Every bit of reason in Nicole’s brain begged her to leave. She knew there were feelings on her end and doing something stupid, especially with a girl who technically still had a boyfriend, was bound to get her in trouble. “I suppose I do.”

Maybe it would be nothing, some stupid dare that had nothing to do with what was currently playing out in her mind. Or it could be as simple as money? Maybe she would say she had to pick up the next bar tab, which would only be fair anyways given Waverly had bought their drinks, despite Nicole’s attempts to get her to take some cash for her share at least. 

Waverly shifted in her spot, sitting cross legged facing her. Nicole happily took the excuse to create a bit of distance and mirrored her position, hands sitting against her knees, trying hard to keep them from shaking with nervous energy.

“You didn’t forget, did you?”

Busted. “I might have, until now.” Waverly’s smile was devilish, far from comforting. Nicole had a sense that whatever would be asked of her would not be a smart idea. “You still haven’t told me what I owe.”

“Hmm, that’s right.” Waverly made a show of thinking it through, ratcheting up Nicole’s anxiety. After what felt like ages she met Nicole’s eyes again. “I know.”

“Oh?”

“Mmhm.” She watched as Waverly leaned in, face a breath from hers. “Kiss me.”

Oh fuck. Her body felt like it had been electrified and every inch of her wanted to fulfil the demand, but she hesitated. This was a very bad idea. “I don’t think I should.” It came out more timid than she thought capable.

“You don’t want to?” It felt like a rhetorical question. Waverly had her and she knew it.

“I do.” 

“So, what is stopping you?” It was gentle and reassuring somehow. There was a moment of understanding that Waverly only wanted it if she did too. This wasn’t some stupid bet or dare, there was really desire there.

“You have a boyfriend. And I like you.”

“He wouldn’t care, trust me. He’s said as much.” Waverly dropped her voice and puffed her chest out, “oh my god baby, that would be so hot.” She dropped the façade and rolled her eyes, seeming to acknowledge how gross he was to say something like that. “Plus, he won’t be my boyfriend come tomorrow.” The roughness in her voice fell off before she addressed the second part of Nicole’s concerns. “And I know.” 

She still hesitated. “We’re drunk.”

Waverly’s smile grew. “If I told you that I had this picked out when I made the bet, when I wasn’t drunk, would it help? Because I did. And I get the sense you’ve wanted to kiss me for a while.”

Oh. “Yeah, I have.” 

“So?” Nicole didn’t move. She wanted to so fucking bad, but she still wasn’t sure this wouldn’t just be a drunken regret for the smaller girl the next day. Waverly seemed to sense her reluctance and made a move to make her desire clear. Nicole’s body erupted in goosebumps at the feel of Waverly’s fingers tangling in the hair above the base of her neck. “Kiss me, Nicole.”

Her resolve snapped and she rushed forward, capturing Waverly’s lips in her own, her hunger breaking free and guiding her hands to the other woman’s face, holding them in place. The kiss was hard and wet, drunken lips and limbs fighting for control they barely possessed by this point. They both shifted as one, Waverly settling beneath her as Nicole climbed over her, pressing her own body down. Their hands grabbed at each other with desperation, breath coming in hot, short pants. Waverly tugged her down, ridding them of the small gap between their bodies. 

Nicole’s breath caught as Waverly’s leg slipped between hers and bent at the knee, thigh pressing up against her. A whispered ‘fuck’ fell out between them and she couldn’t be sure who it came from, her mind too preoccupied by the way Waverly’s tongue pressed against hers. She felt lightheaded but it didn’t matter, every time she felt like she might topple over, Waverly steadied her, pulling at her clothes, her back, her thighs and arms. It was a battle for friction as their bodies dug in for each other, both clinging on for more.

A wave of dizziness rolled over her suddenly and Nicole struggled to steady herself, despite Waverly anchoring her in place. Still hovering over the smaller women, Nicole let herself breathe in deeply, chasing away the vertigo, only opening her eyes once she felt her balance return. Waverly’s eyes searched hers, asking silently if it was okay to continue. There was a sudden stillness, cutting through the prior desperation. She felt herself shiver so hard it was as if her bones rattled and in that moment Nicole knew she was in trouble. Seemingly oblivious to the internal, and very gay panic of her partner, Waverly tugged at the red hair threaded between her fingers, bringing Nicole down to meet her lips, and just like that the panic subsided, replaced with desire so intense it physically hurt. The roughness of their first kisses fell away, instead finding something even better, a slow and languid play for each other’s lips and tongues.

Waverly’s hands ran down the length of her back, reversing direction when she reached the hem of her tee. Soft, delicate fingers slid up lightly against her bare skin. It felt like she was losing her mind, battling for a sense of reality, unable to accept just how good it felt. And then the pads of Waverly’s fingers were replaced by the sharp trailing of nails down her spine. Nicole arched into her, begging for more. The lips sliding against hers broke into a knowing grin as those heavenly nails made their decent down her spine with just a little more pressure, likely leaving narrow red tracks down the pale flesh of her back.

The sound of the lock unlatching snapped them both apart. Nicole shuffled off Waverly in a rush, nearly falling off the bed as she struggled to reach the other end. Waverly was furiously pushing her skirt back down, having ridden up from Nicole’s thigh pushing against her. The pair shot each other nervous glances before a tall girl walked in, presumably the roommate.

“Hey Waves, have you seen my phone, I’ve been missing it all day and I…” The girl stopped when she spotted Nicole. She was either too preoccupied with her own problem or they had managed to look innocent enough because she just smiled brightly at her and waved. “Oh, hi. I’m Chrissy, Waverly’s roommate.”

“Nicole.” She offered with a smile. “Nice to meet you.” She looked back over at Waverly who was clearly trying to stifle a laugh. “I should probably get back to my room. See you later?”

“Yup!” If Waverly’s overenthusiasm didn’t give away their drunken state, Nicole tripping over her own bag probably did. Chrissy, for what it was worth, just laughed lightly and offered Nicole a hand. She managed to right herself with Chrissy’s help, and made another attempt at grabbing her stuff and headed for the door, turning to wave at the pair before heading out.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole’s door snagged on something, causing her to shove it forward with more force than necessary, toppling the item over and sending the door hurtling into the room, bouncing off the doorstop with a loud smack. It was dark in the room, the only light coming from the hallway, but she could still make out the form of Shae, curled up under her covers. She whispered out a ‘sorry’ that in no way could actually be considered a whisper, something Shae definitely didn’t miss. Between the crash of the door and Nicole’s volume, it would be clear to just about anyone the girl was drunk, but especially to her roommate who had sat herself up to leer at the redhead as she stumbled in. The door shut behind her with nearly as much noise as she had managed to open it with. It’s not like she didn’t realize she was a bit of a mess, it’s just that she couldn’t seem to get her limbs to cooperate.

“Jesus, Nicole.” Shae hissed at her from the bed. “How drunk are you?”

Nicole toppled onto her own bed, kicking her sneakers off as she shuffled up into her pillows. She wasn’t feeling so good, not having had that much alcohol in some time. She just wanted to pass out, but Shae was still staring her down, clearly holding back some sort of comment or two.

“Don’t you want to at least change before bed?” Another moment passed before she decided that yes, she did want to change. With about as much grace as her entrance, she slowly stood from the bed and started digging for clothes in the dark. With a huff of frustration, she reached over to turn a light on to help in her search. Finally finding what she was looking for, she stripped down quickly and tossed the old shirt and sweatpants on. With a bit of flourish, she twisted around to face Shae, her arms extended as if displaying herself sarcastically.

“Yes, I see, pajamas.” Shae replied with more patience than she had managed earlier. “Babe, what’s all over your face?”

Nicole swatted at herself, pulling her hand back to examine, noticing the smudges against her fingers. “Oh.” She hadn’t realized Waverly was wearing lipstick earlier, it must have been a more natural tone, one which currently was smeared across her mouth. A wave of butterflies passed just briefly before panic set in. Shae. “Um.” Fuck, what could she even say to make it any less awkward? Probably nothing that would come out of her mouth at this level of intoxication. And now with the prolonged silence…Shae was too smart not to catch on that something was off. Instead of the questions she anticipated, Nicole was met with silence. Shae sat there, looking anywhere but her for far too long before silently slipping back down into her bed, rolling over to face the wall.

Shit. Nothing about tonight had been expected, but she certainly didn’t think today would be the day this finally happened. It was bad enough living together after the break-up, let alone taking on Shae’s residual feelings, and now that Nicole was clearly moving on, in some regard at least, it could only get worse. She didn’t know whether to feel guilty, or resentful, or just frustrated, but she knew she didn’t care for it, especially in her current condition. This would just have to be a problem to deal with tomorrow.

 

When she woke the next morning, Shae was already gone. Saturday was normally the one day of the week the girl spent relaxing, at least in the mornings. As a pre-med student, she had a heavy schedule, and her grades were top priority. It wasn’t uncommon during the week for the pair to go days without seeing each other. Nicole tended to rise early, where Shae was a total night owl, spending her evenings buried under books in the biology department. With busy semesters and differing sleep schedules, the weekends were just about the only time they ever saw each other. It had become a habit of theirs to get coffee together on late Saturday mornings, even after their breakup. It was a nice way to keep their friendship present. Things lately had been a bit tense, their coffee trips becoming a bit awkward, but they had yet to outright skip one.

Nicole reached over to dig her phone from the jacket pocket it spent the night in. She only had one text from a kid in her criminal law class asking about setting up a group study session for Sunday afternoon. Ignoring that for now, she set the phone down to search the room for a note. Coming up with nothing, she sat back on her bed, rubbing at her eyes with the palms of her hands. No text, no note, no missed calls, nothing to offer an explanation. Her hands slid from eyes, dragging down her face and finally falling into her lap. 

Content to just sit for a bit, she let her mind shuffle through memories from the night before. It had been an eventful night by any measure, but she couldn’t quite put a finger on how she felt about the kiss, well more like their full on make-out session. A part of her (okay, a huge part) was ecstatic, flying, and desperate for a repeat, but the more rational part of her felt uneasy about a first kiss with someone she could see herself developing real feelings for being the product of a drunken, rash decision. Not to mention Champ. Waverly had stated she would be ending things soon, but did that really make it okay? Drunk Nicole seemed to accept the excuse easily enough, but would she act the same way now? Probably not. Would Waverly?

Not feeling great both physically and emotionally, she flopped down into her pillows. Something caught her eye and she lifted slightly to get a better look. A couple light pink smudges dotted her pillowcase. She rubbed a finger against the largest spot before she remembered the lipstick discovery from last night. She had completely forgotten about the incident, and Shae’s reaction. At least that explained why she went AWOL this morning. 

Despite the reservations about the circumstances of the kiss, and the Shae situation, Nicole couldn’t help but smile when she replayed the night. They had found a comfort reserved for old friends, but with the excitement of a new crush. There was no denying the chemistry was untouchable, and she could see Waverly satisfying her desire for fun and adventure while still being grounded and intellectually driven like almost nobody she had met before. It was the perfect combination, and her take no shit attitude just capped it all off. Nicole suspected she was in trouble from their first introduction, and now she knew, she was completely fucked.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Chrissy shook Waverly awake, extending a large cup of something hot as an offering. Waverly slid a single eye open, reaching out for the cup with both hands, cradling the warmth between her palms. It felt like it could still be early morning but she had a sneaking suspicion that it was in fact much, much later. It was unlike Chrissy to wake her unless she was late for something, so she must have been out for a lot longer than it felt. With an unreasonable amount of effort, she forced her other eye open, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear the blurriness from her vision.

Her friend stared down at her with a smirk and raised eyebrows, asking a silent question she didn’t have the energy to decode, let alone answer. Sensing her hesitation, Chrissy backed off a bit, choosing to perch on her bed and stare instead. Waverly distracted herself with the cup in her hands, checking the scrawled pen on the side to see the blonde had ordered her a chai latte made from non-dairy milk. She eagerly sipped from the cup, letting it sooth her into the day. After a few more moments of silence she finally looked back over to Chrissy, smirk still firmly in place, looking all too eager.

“Oh, fine. I know you want to ask, so go ahead.” she grumbled out, sleep still evident in her voice. Chrissy squealed slightly before jumping from her bed to join Waverly on hers. She rolled her eyes at her best friend’s enthusiasm but felt the smile form on her lips, knowing she was giving herself away.

“So, you had a good night?” Waverly answered with a simple ‘mmhm’ and waited for her to continue. “Out with Nicole?” She opted for a nod this time. “Just the two of you, right.”

“Yup.” She set the cup down on the side table, leaning back into her pillows.

“No Champ then?” Waverly shrugged in response before shaking her head to clarify. “So, you didn’t see Champ, and you went out with Nicole.” Chrissy sat on it for a minute before finally getting to her point. “So, what exactly happened last night?”

“What makes you think anything happened?” Waverly was surprised to find herself calm. Was she really about to confess the kiss to Chrissy?

“Well, it’s just that you don’t seem to ever see your boyfriend anymore, and you spent ‘date night’ with her instead. And… and you two looked, a bit compromised shall we say, when I came back last night.” Chrissy looked like she was sitting in a bed of ants, unable to keep herself still for longer than two seconds.

Waverly picked her chai latte back up, spinning the sleeve around the paper cup slowly. “No, I haven’t seen Champ much lately. Yes, I spent the night hanging out with Nicole, but it wasn’t a date if that’s what you are implying.” She switched to picking at the sleeve, fingers shaking slightly. “I didn’t blow him off to hang out with her either. Turns out he is still the same shit-ticket as before.” Chrissy didn’t appear to be surprised by this news, then again, most people probably had money down on this happening again, so there was that. “Apparently, he is in one of Nicole’s classes and offered to wine and dine her if she helped him pass the next test, or something to that effect. Date for tutor. I texted him last night and told him I wasn’t going to see him and told him why. The only text I saw before I blocked his number was him excusing his behavior while managing to confess to sleeping with at least two other women since the last incident.”

Chrissy’s smirk was long forgotten, replaced with an abundance of anger. Waverly had heard the warnings from her friend enough times to know how she felt about her boyfriend and his wandering eyes (and hands, and lips, and everything else). “Jesus, Waves. Please tell me you aren’t going to let him get away with this again?”

“Oh, no. It’s over. Well not officially yet, but it might as well be. I’m done.” And for the first time, she really meant it. Nearly these exact words had fallen from her lips on a few occasions, but there was always a part of her that held out hope that it wouldn’t stick and he would grow up. She was done letting him screw around on her, for good.

“Honestly, I think that’s the best decision you could make. He was never good enough for you, or to you.” Chrissy pulled her into an unstable hug, careful not to smash the cup in between them. “When are you going to make it official?”

“I think today. I just need to do it, you know.” Waverly sighed heavily, dreading the conversation as much as she was eager to have it behind her. “I mean, he knows it’s coming. I wasn’t exactly hiding how I felt with that text last night, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to really end it over text.”

Chrissy nodded, but looked as if she thought the gesture too kind for Champ. “Let me know if you want some backup.” Waverly laughed to herself at the image of the two of them strutting up to confront Champ. It was tempting but she knew this was a solo mission. 

“Thanks, but maybe we can opt for celebratory drinks after instead.”

“Deal!” Chrissy tugged her phone out from her back pocket. “This is going to be the best night out, I swear!” Waverly couldn’t help but smile at the genuine joy her friend had for her. It was the last little push of confidence she needed to be at peace with the decision. “Ooh, okay, I know where we are going tonight and you will love it.”

“Do I get to know?” She leaned forward trying to sneak a look at whatever was on the phone screen. Chrissy turned it to face her. She was right, this would be a great night. There had been rumors a few months ago that one of the local clubs was going to start theme nights and it looks like it was true. She peered over the e-flyer, feeling her excitement grow as she planned her outfit.

“You weren’t kidding.” Waverly got up and started digging through her closet looking for a dress she hoped was here and not back at home.

Chrissy resettled into the now vacant spot against the pillows. “So, you explained about Champ but not about Nicole. How’d you two end up hanging out last night?”

“Remember how I literally ran into her at the library like a week ago… yeah, well, I sort of did it again.” She stopped her search to turn back towards Chrissy. “She suggested we hang out, get a coffee, but I told her about my date and mentioned Champ. That’s when she told me about his stupid bullshit. So naturally I suggested we go drinking instead.”

“Naturally.”

Waverly turned back to focus on her dig, pulling a few backups out in case the dress she wanted really was MIA. Chrissy stood from the bed and walked over, choosing a spot on the wall next to the closet to lean against.

“Waves.” She bent over, hovering just out of reach, trying to get her attention.

With a sigh, Waverly turned her back on the closet again. “Why do I get the sense you still aren’t satisfied?”

“Maybe because you still haven’t explained why I walked in on you and Nicole in your bed, rushing to get as far away from each other as possible. That isn’t exactly a ‘nothing happened’ reaction to your rommie coming home.” Chrissy plucked the dress she was still holding from her hand and held it out appraisingly. “Oh, and go with this one.”

Waverly took the dress back and held it up against her front, smoothing the few wrinkles in the fabric with her hand. It hadn’t been the one she wanted, but it would be a perfect alternative. “I think you’re right.” She said, straining to deposit the hanger on top of the closet door.

“Of course I am, and you’re stalling.” Waverly let out a groan, not loving Chrissy’s inability to forget the damn thing. Part of her wanted to tell her friend everything but the other part of her was not really ready to talk about her drunken make out session with a very, very, sexy redhead. “Look, I’m not going to make you talk, but obviously, something happened, and it sure looked like you had enjoyed whatever it was when I came back, so I’m just saying it might be nice to talk about it.”

Well, fuck. She really couldn’t argue with that logic. “Fine. Fine. We kissed.”

“Looked like you did a hell of a lot more than just kiss.” Chrissy laughed as she dodged Waverly’s attempt to smack at her arm. “Whatever it was, it seemed hot.”

Waverly felt herself relax a bit. She could do this, it wasn’t like it was a big deal. And clearly Chrissy wasn’t going to judge her for it. “It was. And we really only kissed, swear. Don’t get me wrong, it was intense, and kinda messy, what with the intoxication and all,” she giggled to herself, thinking back to how clumsy they had been. “but nothing else happened. You walked in before we could have gotten farther anyways.”

“Oops.” Chrissy looked genuinely guilty. “Sorry. If I had known you were trying to get some hot chick in bed I wouldn’t have barged in.”

“I think you can cut yourself some slack. I had no intention of sleeping with her, or anything sex adjacent, okay. Just a fun make out session. That’s it.”

“You sure about that?” That damn smirk from earlier was back.

“Yes.” As much as she had hoped it would come out confident, Waverly heard the uncertainty in her answer. Maybe there had been potential for a little more to happen, but she was beyond glad it had stayed where it did. There was already a small part of her that felt bad given she was kinda sorta still dating Champ. They both knew it was over, and under any other circumstance she would have never kissed someone else, let alone slept with them, but after everything that Champ had done to her, she thinks she could forgive herself this one transgression. “Look, all I’ll say is we had some fun, and I certainly wouldn’t mind doing it again, but there was no way I was going to have sex with her last night, so you drop your pervy thoughts, okay?” Chrissy held her hands up in front of her, not saying anything more on the topic, but that damn smirk still held its place. 

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Champ had agreed to meet up a few hours later, and though she wasn’t surprised he had actually shown, likely thinking he may just barely get by again, she couldn’t say she was pleased he had either. A small part of her felt like she wasn’t ready to cut ties, but she knew it was time, it had been time, and she wasn’t about to talk herself out of this. Taking one last deep breath in, she made her way into the student lounge, refusing to return the smile sent her way by her soon to be ex-boyfriend.

Champ’s easy demeanor changed instantly. Without the gentle smile he had come to expect from her, it seemed he had finally sensed he had pushed it too far one too many times. Before she could so much as sit down, he started assaulting her with his million excuses, not bothering to keep his voice down. The place wasn’t exactly crowded, but that just meant his voice carried to the few students in their general vicinity. Waverly offered an apologetic smile at one particularly peeved table before shutting down Champ’s bullshit.

Finally getting him to shut his damn mouth, the pair stared awkwardly at each other in silence. Waverly felt her mouth open a few times, desperately hoping that the words would come to her, but each time she tried she merely ended up shutting her mouth again. It finally took Champ reaching out to take her hand in his for her to break the spell and start in.

“Look, Champ, I know we’ve been together for a long time, and you always say it would be dumb to throw that away, but I can’t keep turning a blind eye to your infidelity.” He opened his mouth for what was probably another empty promise to stop sleeping with every girl who gave him attention. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it, okay.” For once he listened. “This whole thing,” she waved between them, “it isn’t good for me. I’m not happy and I haven’t been for a long time. There isn’t anything left to throw away. I’m done Champ. It’s over.”

Surprisingly, he started crying. Every muscle in her being begged her to reach out and comfort him, it was what she would do for anyone, but she didn’t, she couldn’t. She knew that any sign of comfort would be taken as some chance he had to win her over, and she couldn’t deal with the thought of having to do this all over again. This was it, for real, and she had no intention of letting him think otherwise. She stood from her chair, hoovering for a moment, not really sure if there was anything left to say. Champ wouldn’t even look at her, and honestly it was probably for the best, given how hard she was already fighting to keep the guilt at bay at refusing any comfort to the boyfriend she had just left. After another few moments of silence, he finally glanced up with such desperation she almost believed she had made a mistake. But then his hand reached out for hers again and she snapped out of it. Without another word, she turned and walked out of the lounge and out of his life.

 

Chrissy was picking at her fingernails nervously when Waverly returned to their room. Part of her was eager to debrief but she mostly just needed a moment to calm down. She had been shocked at how happy she felt walking back from the student lounge, the guilt ebbing away with each step she took, recognizing that she wasn’t to blame for Champ’s heartbreak. The boy had it coming and he had been given more chances than he was due to fix his shit, and yet he hadn’t. Chances are he didn’t see it the same way, but that wasn’t her problem now.

Waverly flopped down onto her bed, pushing unceremonially at the pile of extra blankets. The relief was almost overwhelming and for the first time since this whole mess started, she realized just how long she had been fooling herself. The bed dipped somewhere by her feet, Chrissy having come over to sit with her. Despite Chrissy’s annoying habits, like her constant need to fill every void on her side of the room with mess, and the appearance of bitchy girls at odd hours of the day (looking at you Stephanie Jones, you dumb skank), she couldn’t have picked a better roommate. The slight unease left behind fell away instantly with Chrissy’s presence and Waverly felt a rush of appreciation for her best friend. Readying her arms to push herself up, she drew in a long, deep breath. Nicole. Her sheets smelled like Nicole.

She couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out as she sat up. The blonde shot her a wary look, clearly confused at the sudden change in mood. For some reason this just made Waverly’s giggles turn into full laughter. Twenty-four hours ago, had someone told her that not only would she find out Champ cheated, again, but she would have dumped him, and spent the night with a near stranger, who she then brought back to her room and in no uncertain terms properly made out with to the point that her bedding smelled like the girl, because the stranger was a girl, she had kissed another girl (like a lot), she would have thought it absurd. Yet here she was, a happily single Virgo with hair for days, whose stomach was currently occupied doing flips at the memory of last night’s late night misdeeds with said girl, and not giving a flying fuck about it.

Finally getting herself under control, Waverly pulled her friend into a tight hug, thanking her quietly for her support. The duo stayed in place for some time, both content to just exist in the moment, happy Waverly was free from her suffocating relationship. With one last squeeze, Waverly extracted herself and went to Chrissy’s closet to start looking for a suitable outfit for the other woman. Sensing the change, Chrissy rose to meet her roommate, helping her dig through the options.


	4. Academic Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watering plastic plants in the hope that they'll grow  
> Seeing a message flash and then smashing up my phone  
> Maybe it's the crazy that I'd miss  
> It won't get better than this
> 
> Turn // The Wombats

Between school, work, practice with the band, fill in practice with that Wynonna girl, and then the night out with Waverly, Nicole now had to make time to figure out what to do about the whole Shae thing. The girl had remained MIA all day, and with it going on 3am, it looked to stay that way. The last thing she needed after working a late Saturday night shift was trying to track her down, but that nagging part of her brain couldn’t let her crawl into bed not knowing if Shae was okay. Checking her texts one last time and seeing no response she sighed heavily and grabbed her jacket, heading back out into the chilly night.

Luckily it only took a search of the top three Shae study spots to find the girl, though if Nicole was a betting woman, she would lay down a hefty amount that the last thing happening was studying. It was rare she studied alone, opting to go over course work with classmates, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had stayed well past the rest to continue on her own. Nicole had found her down in the science building on multiple occasions, far past an appropriate hour, bogged down under texts and journals, but tonight she knew it was different. After the campus library turned up nothing, Nicole headed to the biology department, checking first the small pre-med library, and then the lab spaces. She finally found the tall brunette in the micro lab, slouched against some cabinets with a bottle of vodka in her hands. Nicole wasn’t sure if it was the sight of her drinking alone in the lab at 3:20 in the morning, or the pile of ripped up papers at her feet that set her on edge first.

“Shae…?’ She stopped in the door, not wanting to confront her. “Shae, are you okay?”

Dark glassy eyes found hers and locked on. The two stared at each other, neither seeming to want to be the first to break. Nicole stood rooted in place, debating calling Shae’s best friend to deal with the situation. Given the way things had gone down last night, she highly doubted she was the person Shae would choose to handle whatever sort of meltdown was in progress, but she couldn’t just turn her back, even if it wasn’t necessarily what the girl wanted right now.

Making up her mind, Nicole slowly entered the lab, sliding down into the space next to her ex-girlfriend. A heavy silence settled in, making it a little too eerie for her liking, but if this was where Shae wanted to be right now then she wasn’t about to try to move her, not yet at least. After nearly ten minutes of silence, her roommate shuffled around to face her. Nicole took a moment before turning herself to mirror the other woman, careful not to appear as worried as she felt. This was so far off from the behavior she came to expect from Shae, and it wasn’t entirely frightening, but close.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be, Nicole?” Her speech slurred nearly as much as her balance wavered, but the girl didn’t seem to notice nor care. “I thought you had to work tonight.”

“I did.” Shae gave her a slightly agitated look before plucking her phone from her pocket. 

“Oh.” Clearly, she hadn’t realized how late it was, yet the news of the early morning hour didn’t prompt her to make any move to abandon her new spot on the dirty floor. “I suppose that’s why you came to find me then, make sure I’m not in some ditch.”

The bitterness was so thick, Nicole felt like she could suffocate on it. “I was worried about you. You were gone this morning when I got up, no replies to my messages…it didn’t feel right.” Shae rolled her eyes and made to snatch up the vodka again, missing by a fraction of a second as Nicole beat her to it, deciding that she couldn’t continue to sit by while Shae drank herself into oblivion. 

“You should go.” The brunette spat out, before scooting over a couple feet, distancing herself from Nicole.

“Shae, I can’t just leave you here like this. Please just come back to the room. You don’t have to talk to me. Hell, you don’t even have to come back with me, but at least call someone else if you don’t. I’m not going to just leave you on the floor alone in the middle of the night.” Nicole stood and offered a hand to the other girl, who made no move to accept the help, or rise on her own. “Shae, if security finds you like this, it won’t be good.”

That seemed to do the trick and Nicole forced herself to merely watch as Shae rose unsteadily from her spot, holding onto the edge of the counter for support. Nicole quickly scooped up the mess on the floor, setting it aside as she hid the half-empty bottle inside her jacket. Shae snatched the papers off the table and stomped out, bumping into a few things along the way, leaving Nicole to catch up if she so chose.

The pair made their way back to the dorms in silence, well, near silence seeing as Shae felt it necessary to mutter angrily under her breath every so often. When they finally reached their room, Nicole opened the door but didn’t enter. Whatever was going on with her ex was leaving her at a loss. She had never seen her like this, always the steel beam supporting her friends and family, unlikely to get so much as visibly displeased, let alone like this. It was clear that whatever was going on, Nicole was either part of the problem, or very much not a part of the solution, so she opted to leave her be for a while, hoping to come back to find her asleep later. Shae didn’t seem to mind the plan, not even so much as looking back when Nicole excused herself.

It was beyond late, and nothing was open, but the last thing she could bear right now is sitting alone in silence somewhere. She needed to go do something, but there really wasn’t anything that was viable. Remembering her extra gym bag in her car, she quickly made a trip to grab her clothes, finding a bathroom in the dorm lounge to change in (and dump the remaining vodka down a drain while she was at it). Free from the tight jeans and thick sweater she wore to work earlier, Nicole stuffed the bag in a corner and made her way back into the night. The air was cold, and her clothes weren’t exactly the best for this weather, but it would do for now. Glad she kept a pair of Bluetooth earphones on her at all time, Nicole pulled up a playlist and took off at a jog, hoping a couple miles would drown out the emotional exhaustion and confusion of the past couple days.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Theme night had been unbelievable. She was far from a night club regular, but if they kept these up, she might just be more keen to venture out once and a while. As promised, she and Chrissy drank to high heaven, celebrating Waverly’s recent single status. With two consecutive nights of partying, and the unpleasant headache to prove it, Waverly was dreading a day of schoolwork, but Sundays rarely held much else. Chrissy had woken even earlier, stumbling half-drunk around the room at some hellish hour, dawn barely visible through the curtains, leaving Waverly with the room to herself. Deciding it not in her best interest to stay in bed, she reluctantly peeled herself out and into the shared bathroom to ready herself for the day.

If she wasn’t such a night owl, it would be tempting to make this a habit. The bathroom was deserted, the water hot, and she had all the time in the world to stay under the spray, relaxing with a long shower. The freedom she felt yesterday after ending things with Champ for good lingered. It was beyond revitalizing if she were being honest. Had she realized months ago how unhappy she had been, she would have saved herself the stress of making excuses to herself and him all this time. Really, it should have been much more apparent given the infrequency of their time together.

If anyone could be classified as a man-child, it was him. He was frustratingly immature, refused to take school seriously, and couldn’t for the life of him remain faithful for so much as a month as it turned out. Had Chrissy brought the same guy back to meet her, Waverly had no doubt she wouldn’t approve of him, so why had she let herself settle for so long? Not that it mattered much now, but the thought stuck in her head regardless. It wasn’t as if she was ready to rush out and find someone new, but there was a little excitement in having options, even the ones that were just her. It honestly would be refreshing just to be alone for a while. It had been too long since she had been single and the thought of some quality time with herself was anything but unwanted.

With a rush, Nicole popped into her head. Part of her knew there was some base layer attraction there, but what had happened the other night had just been a bit of drunken fun. Surely. Right? I mean, the girl was gorgeous, and funny, and kind, but she was a woman, and Waverly knew she wasn’t into women, so obviously, she wasn’t into Nicole. That would be silly. So why was there a part of her that tugged at the notion of remaining single for some time? If anything, it was probably just misplaced emotions. Nicole had been the one to break the news about her boyfriend’s less than savory ways, and they had shared a drunken bonding session, and maybe a small part of her wanted some sort of revenge…? No, that wasn’t true. She wasn’t the type to cheat for revenge, not that she should really consider that cheating (even though she knew technically, it was), especially given the circumstance, but nonetheless, it didn’t logically follow. If Waverly had wanted to kiss her, it had been because she simply wanted to kiss her.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t completely, 100% straight, but if anything, it was just a physical attraction. So, sure, she could be single, it’s not like she had any intention of dating Nicole. That didn’t mean she couldn’t have some fun though, right?

She turned the water off and wrapped herself in her favorite oversized towel, wringing the water from her hair and Nicole from her mind. It wasn’t common for her to spend two consecutive nights out, even on the weekends, let alone when she was as behind as she currently was in school. Having allowed herself a relaxing morning, she reluctantly switched into work mode and busied herself with getting ready for what was sure to be a very long day of studying and schoolwork. 

Chrissy was still gone when she returned to their room, but a steaming cup of chai sat on her desk, so clearly, she had stopped in while she was in the shower. Making a mental note to find a way to thank her best friend for being so great lately, she threw on an old Shorty’s tee shirt and leggings before taking a moment to sit and drink some of the tea. With a bit of caffeine in her system, she finished dressing and scooped up her cup and bag before dashing out towards the library.

Sundays were always filled with course work for Waverly, along with at least some of Saturday, but most of the students on campus left theirs for the last moment, clogging up her favorite spots in the library. Unfortunately, today was no different and Waverly forced herself not to grow too frustrated as she headed for her backup spot. 

Luckily, it was just as deserted as she normally found it, most people not caring to hide amongst the stacks on their own. Finding a small table off in the corner, Waverly unloaded her books and laptop, checking to make sure her phone was on silent before she fell into her work. As much as she loved her usual spots, there was something nice about being left alone in the middle of books. She had always loved them, and it felt a bit like coming home whenever she spent time here. As a kid, she had taken any opportunity to lose herself in some other world, grateful for the distraction from her less than ideal life. Surrounded by the smell of books, she never failed to find herself at ease, and despite the already chipper mood she found herself in, she nonetheless felt her spirits lift as she took a deep breath in.

Running through her mental checklist, Waverly settled on the work for her seminar. The last thing she could deal with would be showing up to the next meeting with nothing to show, again. God, if that were to happen she might as well just dig a hole to die in. There was enough internal guilt already with Friday’s debacle, and she couldn’t bear to lay anymore down on top of that. She had gotten lucky once, but there was no way she could count on that again. 

Two hours passed before she let herself take a quick break. There was still a ton of work to do, but she had been making fast progress, easing her mind enough to step away for a breather. After a quick bathroom stop and coffee run, Waverly made her way back to her spot, stopping in her tracks when she saw someone unloading their stuff at her table. It wasn’t exactly a table for one, but still, it was a bit rude to just settle in where someone else was working without asking if it was fine. 

Whoever it was had their back turned and jacket hood up, but she doubted it would be anyone she knew. Most of her friends tended to avoid the library altogether, or had different schedules, and none knew her back-up spot, so it was unlikely this mystery person had sought her out. Which meant she would have to either put up with some stranger’s presence, or make the awkward move to another spot. Deciding it best to scope out a new table, she wandered around for a few more minutes, leaving the stranger to her table in the meantime.

After ten minutes with no luck, Waverly finally cut her losses and headed back to her spot. Somehow, every damn table and desk was taken, which wasn’t unheard of, but still unusual. Realizing the mystery guest probably already sought out their own place, she felt a bit bad at having assumed them some rude jerk before giving them a chance, but at least she hadn’t rushed in to snatch her stuff before scoping the place out first.

With a polite greeting on her lips, she rounded the corner, ready to welcome the other person in, only to find the table covered in study materials, but missing the other occupant. Deciding it best just to get back into her work, she settled into her seat and lost herself in her notes from earlier. After a few minutes and no sign of the other person, Waverly’s curiosity won out as she strained her neck, trying to read from the open book on the other side. It was upside down, but she just barely made out a few words before a voice caught her attention.

“Waverly?” She swiveled her head around, looking more than a bit guilty at snooping, only for the guilt to drop away instantly at the sight of Nicole standing in front of her with what looked to be the largest cup of coffee she had potentially ever seen.

“Nicole? What are you doing here?” 

“I uh, I came to study.” Waverly watched as Nicole tentatively took a few steps towards the table. “Sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here. There weren’t any more open tables.” 

Nicole set her coffee down but didn’t make a move to sit. “Oh, right. Yeah, I noticed that.” An uncomfortable silence settled around them before Waverly realized Nicole was likely unsure if she should stay or leave. “So, what’s on your docket today?” She gestured at the books spread out across from her, hoping Nicole would get the message that she was welcome.

“Oh, god…where to start.” The redhead laughed out, finally taking her seat. “I’m afraid I have too many things to even know where to begin today. You?”

Glad that some of the tension was gone, Waverly smiled brightly before replying. “Unfortunately, it’s about the same for me.” 

“Well, I hope my presence won’t be too much of a bother then. I could go somewhere else if you want…”

“No, don’t be silly.” As if to make her offer clearer, Waverly gently nudged Nicole’s textbook in her direction. “Stay, please.”

Nicole smiled back at her as she pulled her book closer, rifling through the pages until she found the one she was looking for. “Well, with a welcome like that, I don’t suppose I have any choice.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

After another three hours of work, Waverly had managed to catch up on her seminar progress and lay out about half of a rough draft for a paper due next week. Feeling like she could finally breath a bit, she pushed her chair back and stretched out, back popping loudly. Nicole glanced up to her for the first time in almost an hour, clearly drawn out of her own work by the sound.

The duo shared a look before Nicole stood to stretch herself. “Seeing as it is already well into the afternoon, I don’t suppose you’d be interested in a lunch break?”

She had completely forgotten to eat, which to be fair was pretty much on track with how her Sundays tended to go, but it was a bad habit, one she would gladly break today.

“I think I could swing that, although I still have a ton of work, so I couldn’t take too long.” 

Nicole silently accepted the answer with a nod and began gathering her belongings. Waverly followed suite and within minutes the pair made their way outside together. In the time since she had entered the library, the weather had turned, leaving a howling wind and sharp drizzle in the wake of what had been a nice sunny morning. Shocked by the cold, Waverly shivered violently, stopping Nicole in her tracks. Without a word, the taller girl slipped her bag off her shoulders and shrugged her jacket off, holding it out for Waverly to take.

She eyed the garment, not wanting to take it from Nicole. It was a sweet gesture, but she couldn’t let herself take it when it had been her own lack of foresight that led her to be ill prepared for the turn in weather. For someone so prone to chills, Waverly was unusually pigheaded about refusing to check the forecast. Sensing her hesitation, Nicole reached out and took Waverly’s hand, physically placing the jacket in her grip with a pointed look. Realizing she couldn’t get away with refusing it, she gratefully wrapped herself up in its warmth with a shy smile.

After alerting Nicole to her veganism as they packed up, Waverly had agreed to pick out a safe lunch spot. Given the ugly weather, they decided against chitchat and jogged side-by-side through puddles, rushing for the comfort of the small vegan restaurant just off campus. The pair stopped to catch their breath as they reached their destination, huddled beneath the cover just in front of the door. Despite the miserable conditions, Waverly noticed they both had wide smiles plastered across their faces.

Nicole, ever the polite creature, held the door open for Waverly to enter first. Familiar with the place, she quickly led them over to a table by the window. As much as Waverly hated storms, she loved watching the rain fall. Their server dropped over their menus, leaving the two of them to busy themselves with a search for their lunch choice. Waverly quickly spotted a favorite that sounds just right for today, only to look up and see Nicole nervously flipping back and forth through the pages.

Noticing she was caught, the redhead gave a quick ‘sorry’ before setting the menu down. “I hate to admit it, but I’m totally out of my element here.”

“That’s okay. What sort of things do you normally like to eat?” She asked, hoping to sound understanding. Nicole took a moment to consider before listing a few of her go to options. Waverly quickly set about digging through the menu, pointing out dishes that would have similar flavor profiles, textures, etc. 

When their server returned, Nicole eagerly ordered her meal, appearing happy to know a bit more about what she was talking about. It always caught Waverly by surprise that people seemed so clueless when she took them to vegan restaurants. Everyone ate vegan food all the time as part of their normal diet, they just didn’t tend to think of it that way. So, naturally, they all assumed there would be nothing familiar or appetizing, but she had yet to meet someone who walked away unsatisfied. For what it was worth, the sheepish look on Nicole’s face as Waverly sweetly guided her through her options was so worth it. She would happily do it a million times over to see that look again.

Having been too preoccupied with their schoolwork earlier, the pair took the time to catch up on what all had them so bogged down all Sunday. Waverly embarrassingly explained her seminar mishap and the unfortunate chain of events that led to it. Nicole, ever the saint she was, reassured her that it happened to everyone and pointed out the fact that her spending so much time, and without a single groan, catching up showed she wasn’t going to get dragged down by one bad week.

Nicole seemed a little more hesitant to go into specifics but Waverly got the sense that something other than school was sitting heavy on her shoulders. Before she had a chance to probe more, their food arrived and the hungry duo made quick work filling their stomachs. With their plates pushed aside, both contented with their meals, they fell back into easy small talk. It wasn’t until Waverly mentioned her roommate that she saw that flash of distress again. Obviously, things between them were not the best given the way Nicole seemed to want to steer back from that topic immediately. Luck was on Nicole’s side for the second time though when the server returned with their check. Waverly just barely beat Nicole out, snatching the bill up just in time. 

“No way, you bought drinks the other night. You have to let me buy lunch.” Nicole lunged forward, snatching the check out of her hands easily and laying down enough cash to cover both the bill and a generous tip. 

“It’s not a habit of mine to take people to my favorite place only to let them pay.” Waverly offered as an explanation as she started gathering her belongings again. “But I don’t suppose I can convince you twice in a row, can I?”

“Not a chance.” Waverly held Nicole’s jacket out to her, but the redhead refused, insisting for a second-time Waverly take it. 

“Are you sure?” Waverly still had a ton of work to do, and had every intention of heading right back to the library, but perhaps Nicole had thought they would return to their dorms so she didn’t want to presume. 

Nicole nodded, dimples popping as she smiled. “Can’t have you shriveling up before we get you back to the books, can we now?” Happily accepting Nicole’s continued company, she slipped the jacket on and followed Nicole out the door.

Their walk back was just more relaxed seeing as the rain had let up quite a bit since they had journeyed out. Waverly took the time to consider what Nicole had mentioned about paying for drinks the other night. Somehow, neither had mentioned the way the night had ended. It wasn’t that she was actively avoiding it, and she got the sense that Nicole wasn’t either, more like there just didn’t seem to be a need to bring it up. Sure, Waverly felt some butterflies whenever she caught the taller woman’s eyes, but it wasn’t uneasy or awkward, more like comfortable and a little bit exciting even. She felt immensely comfortable in her presence and more than happy to just let themselves exist in the present.

Nicole stopped just shy of the library entrance, catching a distracted Waverly off guard. Turning to face her, Waverly felt those now familiar flutters make their way through her chest at the sight of what could only be classified as a childlike grin spread wide across her new friend’s face.

“Sorry, I just realized that once we go back inside it will back to the books, so I just wanted to say thank you for lunch.”

Waverly stared at her a little confused. “Uh, Nicole, you payed.” 

“I mean for coming out with me, for lunch. It was nice to just hang out for a bit, you know.”

“Yes, it was.” They stayed rooted to their spots for a moment longer before Nicole moved forward toward the building again. 

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Afternoon had quickly turned to evening, though to Nicole it felt like minutes, not hours. She had miraculously managed to be productive, even with the brunette beauty sitting just across the table from her. There was something about watching Waverly work that set a fire under her ass, motivating Nicole to push herself. Despite their ability to put their studies first, it was not without effort. Nicole had caught herself staring at Waverly an embarrassing number of times, which to her pleasure, appeared to be a shared issue. Normally, she wouldn’t spend this much time stuffed away in the library, but being here in comfortable silence with the woman of her desire was enough to keep her in place. 

Though Nicole would have been happy to remain in their cocoon all night, Waverly seemed to have other plans, catching Nicole off guard when she began to finally pack her things away. Realizing their shared day was coming to an end, Nicole followed suit, stuffing her things into her bag with what she hoped was hidden disappointment. Really, she should be thankful for the time they had spent together. She hadn’t anticipated seeing the other girl at all today, but there was this greed in her that pulled and begged for more. 

Nicole finished packing and paused to watch the other woman, smiling to herself. “Hey, thanks for letting me hang out with you today. I think you might be a good influence on me.” It was the first they had spoken in at least two hours, but it somehow felt like they were picking up from a conversation merely minutes ago. Waverly glanced up at the words and smiled brightly.

“I know what you mean. I haven’t gotten this much done in a day since finals week last semester.” With a quick zip of her backpack, they began their journey out. A moment of silence passed before Waverly continued. “Maybe we could make this a regular thing.”

“Sunday study dates? Yeah, I think I could get used to that.” Waverly gave her a curious look before Nicole realized what she had just implied. “I mean not that it’s a date, I just meant like a study date, like friends, or…” She could feel her face reddening and Waverly’s silent curiosity was only furthering her embarrassment. “Oh god…I just meant it would be nice to get together again. To study. Here. On Sundays.”

“And I thought I was a rambler.” Nicole’s blush went full crimson at being called out. She knew it wasn’t meant to tease, not really, almost a comfort. “I know what you mean though, it’s okay.”

“Okay. So, next Sunday then?” They had managed to find their way outside, standing just under the last bit of cover and out of the rain. Waverly looked beautiful, with the blurred lights of the buildings behind her sparkling in the downpour. Every bit of her begged for more, more time, more contact, more of her. Before she could reason with herself, Nicole made one last effort to extend the night. “Unless you’d be interested in grabbing dinner with me?”

“I’d love to…” Waverly checked her phone before continuing. “It’s quite late though. I don’t know that anything is really open anymore.”

That was one of the few things Nicole hated about this part of the city. Somehow everything closed early on Sunday nights, and given how late it had gotten, there likely wasn’t much open. “Oh. Yeah, I kinda forgot about that. I don’t usually stay this late.”

To her surprise, Waverly looked about as disappointed as she felt. Neither made a move to leave either, giving Nicole a bit of hope that maybe she wasn’t the only one desperately wanting to postpone their separation. Suddenly, Waverly grabbed her wrist and tugged her into the rain without a word. She quickly matched her pace, confused, but more than happy to follow the spontaneity. The duo grinned, running through the campus side-by-side, splashing through the puddles and laughing at the little shrieks escaping Waverly’s lips as a sudden clap of thunder sounded in the distance.

Out of breath and completely disheveled, Nicole came to a panting standstill beside her new study partner. Looking up at the building, she saw what appeared to be the storefront of a little market. Following Waverly’s lead, she shook off the excess water and quickly entered the store. The lights were a bit harsh after the darkness of the night, but it was warm and dry and smelled ridiculously good. 

Waverly showed no signs of stopping as she plowed through the store, eagerly making her way through the center aisle. Confusion growing, Nicole stayed just behind the smaller woman, until she spotted a counter in the back. Just on the back wall was a small menu that Nicole had to squint to read. Knowing Waverly was a vegan, she wasn’t surprised to find a few friendly options on the menu, but what caught her attention was the cheesesteak. After the long day and running through the chilly rain, she was desperate for a hearty and hot dinner. 

A skinny kid walked up behind the counter and took Waverly’s order before looking to her. Nicole panicked slightly, not sure what to order. Sensing her hesitation, Waverly reached out for her arm, smiling gently. Nicole got the message and went ahead and placed her preferred order. When the kid left to go start on their food, Nicole sputtered out a quiet ‘sorry’, which Waverly quickly shut down.

“No worries.” Waverly’s hand returned to her forearm, caressing her soothingly. “I don’t love placing orders either, always have to run through what I want to say in my head first.”

“Oh, it isn’t that. Well, not that I don’t do that too. I just didn’t know if it would be okay for me to order meat.” 

Waverly frowned up at her and Nicole rethought the subtle touch earlier, wondering if she had misread it and Waverly really wasn’t okay with her order. “Nicole, I’m sorry.”

She looked down at the shorter girl, even more confused. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel you have to follow my diet when we hang out together.” Relief flushed through her, immediately followed by a tug to her heart, knowing Waverly genuinely felt bad for something that she hadn’t even done.

“No! Waves, you didn’t make me feel like I couldn’t. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” They both looked a little flustered and guilty, but Nicole got the sense that Waverly wouldn’t have any of the guilt from her, just as she didn’t want Waverly to feel bad. They stood looking at each other a little longer before a wide grin broke out on Nicole’s face. Waverly quickly returned it as she gently dragged her back towards the counter to pick up their food.

With the bag in hand and the bill payed, (split down the middle after a slight debate) the duo left the shop, stopping only once they realized it was still pouring rain and they had no place to eat. Nicole ran through a list of possibilities internally, thinking the only reasonable option would be to invite Waverly to her room, but that would complicate things because of Shae. Looking over to Waverly, Nicole felt she was likely trying to figure out a solution. 

“Oh, I’ve got it!” Waverly shouted suddenly, grabbing Nicole’s hand and running out into the downpour. That damn giddy grin was back in place as they ran across campus hand in hand. Nicole didn’t even have a chance to see where they stopped before Waverly was unceremonially shoving her into the building. Taking a second to glance around, Nicole realized they were in the history building. Waverly had dropped her hand to open the door, but the moment they started walking again, she felt the brunette grasp out for her and happily gave her hand over again.

She hadn’t spent much time in this building, but she suspected it wouldn’t have made much difference in how lost she felt with the seemingly endless maze of corridors she was dragged through. After nearly five minutes they stopped outside a battered old wooden door. No sign indicated what the room held but Nicole’s curiosity peaked when Waverly pulled out her keys and used one to unlock the door.

It was mostly dark except for a small lamp on a desk at the other side of the room. Waverly reached into the darkness for what Nicole assumed was the light switch before appearing to think better of it and choosing to turn a second lamp on instead. The space was cozy, a couple armchairs formed a semicircle around a low coffee table while a small couch was shoved up under a window. On the far side of the room stood a kitchenette, clarifying the space’s use as some sort of lounge or break room.

Waverly took a seat in one of the armchairs and gestured for Nicole to join her in the neighboring chair. Pulling their dinner out of her backpack, Nicole sat down in the proffered chair, unloading the various wrapped items from the bag. 

“I love this place.” Waverly said, leaning back into her chair.

“What is this place?”

“I don’t know that it has a name, but I’ve been getting stuff from here for about a year now.” She replies before hungrily taking her first bite.

Nicole stopped unwrapping her sandwich and looked questioningly over at her. Realizing Waverly meant the shop, she laughed a bit to herself before restating her question. “Sorry, I thought you meant this.” She paused to wave around at the room. “What’s this place anyways?”

“Oh. Shit, sorry.” Waverly blushed over at her. “Um, this is the history department’s break room.”

“To which you have a key?”

Waverly took another bite, taking her time before answering. “Yeah. I do a lot of work for the department, so…”

Nicole nodded and started in on her food. It really was good, certainly worth a second visit sometime, assuming she’d be able to find it on her own. Or maybe they could return next Sunday after their study date. Not date. It’s not a date. God, why did she have to keep reminding herself.

“So, what’s the rest of your week look like?” Waverly asked, balling up the tin foil from her now finished sandwich.

“Ugh…honestly I don’t think I even want to acknowledge that tomorrow is Monday.” They both laughed at the comment.

“That bad, huh?”

“Not really, I just tend to put a lot of stress on myself, more than I probably should.” Nicole stuffed the foil from her sandwich, along with Waverly’s into the now empty bag.

Waverly reached out for the bag as she was closer to the trash. Nicole couldn’t not notice the way their fingers brushed together as she handed it over, nor the fluttering in her stomach at the simple touch.

“I had to start doing yoga to destress I was getting so bad, so I totally get it.” 

“I’ve never done it before.” She said, looking over to see Waverly merely smiling at her.

The brunette shifted her weight so she could reach into her bag, pulling out her laptop. Nicole happily watched as she searched for something, listening to her explanations about what her gym routine was. Seeming to find whatever she was looking for, Waverly stood from her seat and walked over to Nicole, deciding to find a new perch on the arm of her chair. Leaning over so they could both see the screen, Waverly was forced to use Nicole’s shoulder to stabilize herself, pressing into her fully. Nicole felt the slight weight of the small girl resting against her, the tickle of her long and still damp hair tickling her neck, the sweet and delicate scent of her. It was all a little intoxicating, not that she was complaining.

They watched some sort of yoga video explaining how to get started, obviously for the edification of Nicole. After the first one Waverly slid off the armrest and sat on the floor directly in front of her, setting the laptop on the table in front of them. Nicole made space for her between her legs so she could lean back against the chair. Waverly, obviously happy with her new accommodations, slid back against the chair, offering Nicole’s calf a quick squeeze as she settled in. 

Half an hour later they had progressed from videos on other routines to history videos following a discussion of Waverly’s week and studies. They were genuinely interesting, but mostly Nicole just loved the way Waverly’s head had come to rest against the inside of her knee, fingers playing at the bit of exposed skin between the bottom of her pant leg and her sock. Nicole, not wanting to forgo reciprocating if the chance was present, played with the other woman’s long locks, taking time to scratch at her scalp from time to time.

It wasn’t until Nicole’s phone chirped out at her indicating a text that the spell broke and the pair took note of the late hour. Sufficiently sedated and absolutely glowing, Nicole followed Waverly back out into the night, chatting lightly and bumping shoulders as they went. It had been an unexpectedly wonderful day and night, something she desperately hoped to repeat next week when they met up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Earpers, two things of note:
> 
> 1: Just a heads up that next week and the week after will be a bit different in terms of posting days. I'll be away from home most of both weeks for work, so instead of Wednesdays, I will be posting either on Friday or Saturday. After the next two weeks we should be back to Wednesdays, but if that changes I'll be sure to let you know. 
> 
> 2: HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS, OUR SHIT-SHOW IS BACK ON TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEASON MOTHERFUCKING 4!!!! How absolutely stoked are all of you, because I'm living for this news right about now!


	5. Emotional Escapism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been pushing so hard now my hands are shaking  
> See the water on the rise
> 
> -Perfect World // Broken Bells

For the third year in a row, Waverly dialed a number she knew wouldn’t be picked up, wouldn’t lead to voicemail, but would result in that same stupid automated response telling her the number had been disconnected. Because it was an old number. Because Wynonna had dropped off the face of the Earth and had been MIA ever since. But it was her birthday, her older sister’s birthday, and damn it all to hell if she wasn’t going to at least try to call her.

This year was different though, because someone answered. Which was somehow worse because it wasn’t Wynonna, it wasn’t even someone who knew her, just a random stranger in Greece who apparently had her sister’s old number. It had been one thing when the number led to nothing. There was some hope that one day Wynonna would pick up, or hell, come home, but now the number was someone else’s and that little bit of hope shrunk down to a pinpoint.

At least the man on the other end had spoken a little English and had been kind enough to talk Waverly down from her sudden panic, but she couldn’t help the overwhelming despair she felt pooling in her abdomen. She knew it had been a long shot, but she always called in the morning just in case, because of the time difference, but now she wished she had waited. Because it was almost time for class and the last thing on her mind was going.

Looking through her contacts, she stopped at Champ’s name. Last year she had called him over, seeking some sort of comfort and understanding. Champ had spent the day consoling himself instead, over some stupid bet he lost between his dude-bro friends. So, she had found herself waiting on him all afternoon, bringing him beers and chips, reluctantly agreeing to sex, sex she fought hard through to keep her tears at bay. She had felt so alone that night, half buried under his sweaty weight, trying to quiet her sobs as he snored loudly in her ear. Shame lingered for weeks, shame that she had felt so weak, shame that she had let him put himself above her needs, again, shame that she had agreed to sleep with him when it was the absolute last thing she wanted. But now, it wasn’t shame she felt but anger. Anger at Wynonna for basically abandoning her, anger at Champ for being so self-involved, and anger at herself for taking so long to realize she deserved so much more than waiting around for people who couldn’t spare a moment for her.

So instead of giving in to her grief, she chose to be strong. She quickly scrolled back down to find Wynonna Earp in her contacts, deleting it without hesitation, before returning to Champ to delete him too. Her fingers moved to scroll down, instinctually seeking out Chrissy, but she hovered instead over the contact newly located where Champ Hardy had been a moment earlier: Nicole Haught. Nicole Haught, who she barely knew, yet felt compelled to reach out to. Nicole, the kind hearted and warm eyed beauty who had dug her way into Waverly’s thoughts day and night. Nicole who had managed to make her laugh, smile, feel seen and heard, and important.

So, naturally, Waverly skipped right the fuck over that internal mess and scrolled down to Chrissy’s contact. Luckily, she remembered the blonde was in class about a second before she hit call. Sighing, she tossed the phone down on her blankets and flopped down in place beside it. There was no way she was up for class, and there was no way she’d ask Chrissy to ditch her next class, because her best friend would in a second and Waverly wouldn’t ask for that unless she absolutely needed it. So, she settled for a quick text letting Chrissy know she was going to be out of the room most of the day, needing to clear her head, but not to worry.

Grabbing her jacket, she strode out of her room before she lost the motivation and spent the day sulking in bed. It was only late-October, but it was getting too cold for long strolls through campus, making the slight increase in temperature an unexpected gift, especially today. Today she needed a bit of sun and somehow the universe had found it fit to gift her with just that. 

After twenty minutes wandering aimlessly she was feeling a little bit better. Sure, she still wasn’t overjoyed with her sister, but she hadn’t really expected much else after radio silence for years. But, still, she was doing better, and right now she would take better.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole sat under a tree, picking at the roots, for what felt like the thirtieth time that semester. She had always loved the outdoors, but she had never been one to occupy her free time making friends with campus trees, until now. She was starting to feel like a hostage in her own room, so naturally, she had been avoiding it. Shae had taken to spending more and more time locked away in the dark, avoiding Nicole’s questions about school and her wellbeing. There was something completely unnerving about watching someone deteriorate before your eyes with nothing for you to do about it. After the bio lab incident, Nicole had tried to reach out, tried to talk to Shae, but Shae wanted nothing to do with her. And so, Nicole found herself watching helplessly as the other woman fell into disarray. It was obvious she was skipping classes, drinking at all hours of the day, sleeping through meetings and study sessions… and every attempt made by Nicole to help only seemed to set her off more. So, she made friends with trees and hoped Shae just needed the space.

Today had solidified her fears though. Most mornings lately Shae had let her alarm go off for far too long before finally turning it off and rolling over just to fall back asleep. This morning, well this morning, a still drunk Shae snapped, snatching the offending item off her desk and throwing it aimlessly across the room, smashing into the opposite wall and breaking apart, pieces coming to rest on the floor a foot from where Nicole had been standing. The very same Nicole who stood in shock not sure if she should be concerned or angry, ultimately deciding both worked just fine.

Deciding that playing over the morning’s events repeatedly wasn’t going to help, Nicole stood from her spot on the grass and made her way to the far parking lot where she left her car. If she couldn’t go back to her room, and the tree wasn’t helping, it was time to get off campus and find a better distraction. By the time Nicole reached her car, she knew she had made the right choice, stress falling away with every step added to the distance between her and her ex-girlfriend. She quickly tossed her backpack in the back seat and shut the door, finally snapping herself the last little bit out of her own head, at least enough to finally notice the figure a few feet away pacing back and forth in the middle of the parking lot.

A one Waverly Earp turned back around in what appeared mid-step, retracing the path she just walked, eyes glued to the phone in her hands, muttering angrily under her breath. Any doubt that it was in fact the woman she though it was would have been lost at the muttered ‘shitticket’ that fell from her mouth. 

“Waves?”

The girl stopped in her tracks, looking up to find Nicole standing by her car, hand still lingering on the door handle. After a moment, recognition graced Waverly’s features and Nicole finally stepped back from the door and in her direction.

“Is everything okay?”

Waverly stuffed her phone into her bag and met Nicole half way. “Yeah, sorry, I probably look a little crazy, don’t I?”

Nicole felt unsure how to reply until she saw the hard features on her friend’s face fall away, leaving a hint of a smile in place. “Well, maybe just a little.”

Waverly lightly slapped her arm, but the bright smile that she delivered made it clear that the banter was welcome. “What are you up to?”

“Oh, just thought I needed to get off campus, clear my head.” Nicole stuffed her hands in her back pockets and shrugged, not wanting to burden Waverly with any unnecessary explanations in the middle of a parking lot. “You?”

“Something similar. Where were you heading?”

“Not really sure yet.” She leaned back on her heels, trying to convince herself not to invite Waverly along, and failing. “You’re welcome to join me, if you’d like.”

Relief surged through Waverly’s features and Nicole felt herself beaming back. “That would actually be great. I’m feeling in need of some company today, but I didn’t want to ask Chrissy to bail on her classes.”

“Well, in that case, I humbly offer my serves for the day Miss Earp.” Nicole stated, pulling her hands from her pockets to offer an arm to the shorter woman. The both giggled at the corny gesture, but Waverly slipped her own arm into place anyways, following Nicole over to her car.

To date, their time together had been spent almost entirely on campus, and something about branching out felt significant to Nicole. Unexpected nerves flared up as she struggled to get the key in the ignition, something Waverly thankfully did not seem to notice. 

“So, where to?”

Waverly was quiet for a moment before a wide grin slipped into place. “Well, if it isn’t any burden to you, do you mind if we go to this bookstore in town?”

“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the one by that German place are you? Across from that super shady looking travel agency?” Waverly’s head snapped left to meet Nicole’s eyes.

“Well Miss Haught, indeed that is the fine establishment to which I was referring.” Waverly giggled at her own wording before switching suddenly into a serious tone. “Oh, but that place is definitely like a front or something, right? I mean, who uses travel agents anymore? And I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen it open once in the daytime!”

“Right!” Nicole put the car in gear and began the familiar route to the bookstore. “I swear if you walked in there and tried to book a ticket for something they would be completely dumbfounded.”

“Oh my god, we should totally do it!”  
Nicole nodded her head with a slight laugh. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like the best idea. Can you imagine, we would probably end up taken hostage or something.”

“Or we’d crack a crime ring. Get you your first collar.” Nicole glanced over just in time to see her friend wiggle her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, I think I’ll save that for after the police academy.”

Waverly pouted back at her playfully before dropping one last comment. “Well, you’re certainly no fun.”

Nicole scoffed at her and threw out her own reply before she could think better of it. “Oh, I can be plenty of fun, don’t you worry Miss Earp.” There was no mistaking the blush on the shorter girl’s checks.

 

The bookstore turned out to be the idealic outing for the pair, both happy to lose themselves in books for the time. Neither woman was particularly eager to return to reality, and yet Nicole found herself ripped from her linguistic stupor repeatedly. With every glance in Waverly’s direction, or gentle touch as one passed the other, even the delicate drafts of Waverly’s perfume, Nicole felt herself return firmly to Earth, and despite the concerns lingering just off stage, she was perfectly happy to find herself a temporary inhabitant of reality each time. There was something completely intoxicating about the other girl. She appeared to float from shelf to shelf, spending no small chunk of time with each book she picked from its spot. Nicole loved bookstores, the smell of the paper, the quiet atmosphere, the lack of rush, yet Waverly, well any outsider would agree that she simply looked at home.

It was in the new paperbacks section that Nicole found herself rooted in place, struggling to so much as blink. Waverly was across the center aisle from her, sat cross-legged in the middle of the history section, completely oblivious to the world around her, furiously scribbling down notes as she read, on a notepad she had somehow brought in with her unnoticed. There was just this pure energy emanating from her that trapped Nicole. Had it not been for the man who in no uncertain terms demanded she remove herself from her spot in the middle of her own aisle, Nicole likely would have stayed stock still until Waverly broke the spell. Shaken free of her holds, she thought it better to put a little distance between herself and the other woman.

An hour later, Nicole found Waverly again, still on the floor of the history section, although it seemed someone had managed to at least convince her to choose a less hazardous temporary home. With no indication she noticed her presence, Nicole dealt a gentle tap of her shoe to Waverly’s. 

“Oh, hey, sorry. I hope you haven’t been waiting for me for too long.” 

“Nope, not at all. I just figured I should check in, make sure you payed up on that mortgage you took out. Although, I suppose I should have at least brought a housewarming gift, or is it aisle-warming?” Waverly playfully swatted Nicole’s pant leg before deciding it better to “invite” Nicole down by yanking at her jeans until she took the hint and sat next to her. 

“You’ll never guess what I found.” She said, snatching her notes away from Nicole’s view before she could snoop out the answer. “There are like four new books here on local history, and two of them have some on my family.”

“What? That is really neat.” Nicole tentatively reached out for the hidden notes, which Waverly finally handed over so she could browse through. “Waverly, this is really cool.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course!” She flipped a page, and then another, eventually realizing the new notes spanned more than just a couple pages. “Obviously you think so too, or you wouldn’t have…,” she took a second to actually count, “seven pages of notes! Jesus Waverly, this is a lot!”

“Sorry…” Waverly made to grab the notepad back, but Nicole cut her off, instead pulling her outstretched hand into her own. 

“Sorry? Waves, this is brilliant. I can’t believe you got this much out of this since we’ve been here.” Nicole started to let go of her friend’s hand realizing she had taken it hostage, but Waverly’s returned grip didn’t loosen in response, so she instead pulled their hands in closer. “I can’t imagine what all you’ll have after you have this at your disposal for a whole day”

“Oh, I can’t buy it.”

“Sure you can. You almost have to. It would be such a waste not to put it to use.”

Waverly’s grip wavered finally, pulling Nicole’s attention from the notepad to the brunette’s face. She looked almost as if she was embarrassed. 

“Waves?”

“I don’t have any disposable cash at the moment, kind of went a little crazy lately with the spending. I don’t get paid by the school for another week and a half.”

“Well who says you have to pay for it…” 

“What?! You’re a future cop Nicole. We can’t steal a book. I’ve never stolen anything in my life!” Waverly’s eyes were practically bulging. “Okay, well that isn’t completely true. This one time my older sister convinced me to steal a huge bag of Halloween candy from a pharmacy, but I was five, and I felt so bad that for like a year after I left pieces of candy in front of their door anytime my aunt gave me some.”

“Okay, Waverly…” She squeezed the hand in hers to pull Waverly from her ramble, hoping it might calm her a bit. “First, that is super cute that you did that. And second, we aren’t going to steal this book. I said you didn’t have to pay, not that we weren’t going to pay.”

“What?”

Nicole chuckled and stood from her spot, using the hand in hers to pull Waverly up from her place on the floor as well. “Come on, we’ve got some books to buy.”

She had anticipated a struggle when Waverly realized she intended to buy the book for her, but surprising, the shorter girl had been easily convinced, though not without an overwhelming amount of gratitude. Nicole was pretty sure if Waverly told her ‘thank you’ one more time, her tongue might fall right out of her mouth. That wouldn’t be good. For Waverly’s sake, of course…not Nicole’s…obviously.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The short walk back to Nicole’s car was, well, it was short. Too short. Because Waverly certainly didn’t want to go back to her room, and she didn’t have any money to spend on much of anything, so suggesting they go out to eat wouldn’t work, and the last thing she was about to do is let Nicole spend any more money on her today. She supposed she could always just go to the library, it wasn’t as if there wasn’t a stack of work waiting for her on campus, but while that would certainly keep her out of her room, it didn’t involve Nicole, something she had suddenly realized she wanted. 

The pair had taken to walking down the sidewalk with her arm draped through the crook of Nicole’s, much like the cheesy gesture from the parking lot earlier, except now it felt a little less cheesy, and a lot more unsettling. Between the apprehension of ending their impromptu outing and the butterflies storming about in her abdomen, Waverly was struggling to keep her calm demeanor from cracking. What was happening to her? She had never felt so desperate to connect with someone like this before, and never had it been so easy. Nicole seemed to just fit into her world, there was no struggle to find a fit for her, it just worked. Champ had never fit like this, not in their entire relationship. But Nicole was a friend so it made sense that it would be easier. Then again, Waverly had never clicked with her friends like this either. Sure, Chrissy was a staple in her life, the girl was practically family at this point, but it didn’t feel the same as this. 

Waverly’s mental run down was cut short by their sudden arrival back at Nicole’s car. The redhead took their bag of comingled books and placed it in the back as Waverly climbed into the passenger seat. From the position of the side mirror, Waverly could see Nicole as she stood behind her, bag secured in the back, hatch closed, and yet still standing back there, looking a little nervous. It took until she saw Nicole shake out her hands as if trying to physically rid herself of those nerves that Waverly realized Nicole was probably nervous because of her, that maybe there was some sort of attraction on her end too. Sure, they had shared that make-out session, but they had been drunk and she had just decided to dump her boyfriend, and there had been no conversation about it since, but maybe there had been more to it for Nicole. Maybe there had been more to it for her. Okay, so maybe a little bit more than maybe.

A brief surge of panic flashed through her mind at the thought of what that meant. It was one thing to have a bit of a girl crush, but if there were feelings brewing, then that complicated things. Surely, she wasn’t the type of girl to be gay. And then she realized how stupid a thought like that was. She knew good and well that there wasn’t a type… it was all types. So what if she had been head cheerleader, and loved to fem it up, that didn’t mean she couldn’t be gay. Just as she settled into chastising herself, Nicole opened her door and slid into the driver’s seat. 

“Where to?”

“Huh?” Waverly turned to Nicole, taking a second to remind herself of her setting. Realizing her friend was waiting for her input, Waverly quickly dumped her internal panic and gave her attention to her. “Oh, um, I’m not really sure.”

“Hmm, yeah, I don’t really know what would be good to do right now.” Nicole stuck the key in the ignition but made no move to start the car. 

“Well, given I suggested the bookstore, I think it is your turn to pick.” She watched as Nicole sat looking out the windshield in thought for a moment before realizing she may not want to hang out still and quickly added “unless you need to get back. I mean, if you want to go back to campus, of course we should do that. I didn’t mean to imply we can’t go back or anything, and …”

“Woah. Calm down there. I’m more than happy to hang out with you, provided YOU don’t want to go back yet.”

“Oh…” She felt her features redden at the realization she had done that rambling bit again. Something about the redhead brought it out of her far too often for her liking. “Well in that case, I stand by my previous statement. Driver’s choice. Whatever you want to do.”

“Honestly…” she started before turning to face her, “I kinda just feel like taking a walk.”

“A walk?”

“Yeah, like through a park. With the trees, and birds… you know, nature.” Nicole made a point to sweep her hands out in front of them, gesturing at ‘nature’. “It’s the stuff on the outside of the library Waves.”

“Yeah, I think I got it you shit.” She rolled her eyes hard but couldn’t quite keep the smile off her face.

“So, is that a no to the nature thing, or yes?”

“Yeah.”

Nicole’s smile matched her own as she finally reached to start the car. “Don’t look too upset about it.”

“Just drive you big oaf.”

The park had turned out to be a literal breath of fresh air. Something about just winding your way through the trees, nestled away out of view of the city, it felt like she had her own little slice of the world. Well, aside from the gaggles of parents looking after their tots. And Nicole, not that Waverly would have that any other way. It was nice to just exist next to someone. The pair had settled into comfortable silence, slowly creeping down the path at each other’s sides, taking in the sunshine and slight crisp breeze. It had been edging on just a bit too cold for her liking, but Nicole had sensed it at the first shiver and had wrapped her arm around Waverly, pulling her in closer, warming her just the perfect amount.

“I love it here.” It was the first either had spoken since they entered the park twenty minutes ago. Waverly glanced up to meet Nicole’s eyes, waiting to see if the taller woman had more to add. “I’ve lived just outside this city my whole life, and I’ve never really felt like I belonged here, you know. Like maybe I was meant to be out in the country a bit more.” A sort of sad smile played out on her lips. “Sometimes I wonder if it would be best just to pack it all up when I graduate and move to some podunk town in the middle of nowhere.”

Waverly couldn’t help but chuckle lightly, imaging Nicole off in the woods or prairie somewhere. It was a heartwarming thought, she could really imagine it. “Well, coming from someone who grew up in one of those podunk country towns…they aren’t all they are cracked up to be.”

Nicole stopped and turned to face Waverly, obviously a bit concerned based on her current expression. “Waves?”

“Let’s just say there is a part of me aching to go home, and a part of me that never wants to see it again.” Waverly spotted a bench a few feet ahead and took it upon herself to drag Nicole along. Once they were seated facing each other, she continued. “The town I’m from, Purgatory, it’s home, and I have family there, so of course I miss it sometimes. I miss my aunt and uncle. I miss the air and the trees. But I had a rough childhood there too, and it took a long time before I felt ready to move on from that. Part of me isn’t sure I could go back now. Well, I mean I visit sometimes, but I don’t know that I could go back for good.” Nicole reached out and took both of her hands in her own, gently circling her knuckles with her thumbs. “And of course the whole thing with my sister…”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah, well, I might as well not. Seems to be she has forgotten she has any family at all.” She took a breath and redirected her gaze to a tree off in the distance. “Her birthday is today.” She wanted to wipe the tears that were pooling away before they fell but she couldn’t bring herself to remove her hands from Nicole’s. “She ran off to Greece years ago, not long after high school. And I get it, why she left, hell, in her shoes I would have too… but she just stopped writing, stopped calling, stopped replying to messages. I tried to understand, but it’s been so long, and she could at least friggin tell someone where the hell she is. I mean, what if she is dead! For all we know she is!” 

The tears were freely flowing now, the perfect accompaniment to her shaky breath and rising anger. Nicole, ever the saint, just sat at her side, listening, smoothing her knuckle over with those calming circles. “I just can’t keep putting aside this place in my heart for someone who has no time for me. Who doesn’t care. I thought at least she cared, but maybe I was wrong.” It was as if this had all been boiling under the surface and now that she had voiced it she could breathe again. All the details didn’t seem important at the moment, she had said enough to release some of that tension, and now all that was left was just sheer exhaustion. Exhaustion at having carried around this unspoken anxiety for her runaway sister, at feeling compelled to keep it to herself for fear of frustrating Champ, at pushing herself to stay strong and unaffected despite knowing it crushed her. And so she sat and let herself be exhausted, and Nicole stayed with her.

By the time the sun started to go down, she was finally able to extract herself from her redheaded cocoon. Somewhere along the way, she had all but climbed into the other girl’s lap, seeking comfort in the arms of the person who had quickly become a source of stability and relief. She knew their position had likely been uncomfortable for Nicole, but she hadn’t said a word. Instead the redhead had welcomed her in and held her tight, rubbing strong circles into her back, muttering comforting words every so often. Despite her stupor, Waverly had been aware enough to notice a few curious stares from passersby and even one unquestionably dirty look by some guy jogging down their path. She certainly didn’t have the emotional space to care, and it obviously hadn’t prompted Nicole to change her behavior. But it was getting dark, and noticeably colder, so she reluctantly pulled herself free from Nicole’s arms to right herself.

“Hey there.” The words were about as gentle as the fingers that pushed messy hair from in front of her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? Like I just woke up from a nap, a little out of it, but rested.” Those russet eyes pierced her own and she felt like they were a dream version of their selves for a fraction of a second. Everything felt a little floaty and surreal. Had someone told her she could breathe underwater or fly she might honestly believe them. 

“You sure you are okay? You look a bit… lost.”

“Sorry. Just sorta out of it right now. Not really sure why.” Movement caught her eye, drawing her attention just to their right. A boy was chasing after a few birds who kept fluttering just out of reach each time the kid got too close. An exasperated woman chased after him, calling him back with less and less gentle reminders that it was time to go home. Nicole’s hand on her cheek pulled her back to her own little part of the world. “Hey, Waves, maybe we should get back, huh?”

She looked up to meet those gorgeous eyes again, noting the concern looking back at her. “Yeah, that is probably for the best.” She offered a sincere smile, hoping Nicole would take comfort in it, and not worry about her. “Shall we?”

Nicole nodded her response and rose with a stretch before helping Waverly up. It wasn’t until half way back to the car that Waverly realized what the late hour meant. “Oh, my god. Your classes! Nicole, you missed your classes! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. No classes missed. Wednesdays are light days for me, and my only class was canceled.” The majority of her panic subsided, but she still felt a little nervous with taking up so much of her new friend’s time. “The professor had a conference in Toronto yesterday and told us he ‘couldn’t be fucked to wake up early’ after traveling, so… nothing to worry about. Besides, I like spending time with you.”

Well that snapped her out of it for sure. “You do?” Nicole didn’t bother answering, choosing to take hold of her hand and lead her back to the car instead.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The drive back was quiet. They left the radio off and fell back into the same silence from earlier. It was still comfortable but Nicole sensed the silence came in part from the distracted passenger on her right. Waverly’s gaze had been fixed out the window as they wove through the city streets back towards campus, but the tiny brunette had kept her hand firmly on her knee the whole way. That small bit of physical connection gave just enough reassurance to her that Waverly was still present and not completely lost in her mind.

Darkness had fallen by the time they pulled into the parking lot, and despite their long afternoon together, Nicole was reluctant to just part ways here. The parking lot was close enough to both of their dorms that their paths diverged from the start, leaving her without justification for staying with Waverly much longer. But something nagged at her that the smaller woman wasn’t yet ready to be on her own. 

“Hey, do you mind if I walk you to your room?” Nicole asked as she returned to her door with their bag of books.

Waverly followed suit and climbed from her seat, shutting the door behind her. “No, of course not. That would be really nice actually.”

Nicole slipped around the front of the car, reaching out to take one of Waverly’s hands in her own before starting on the path to the other girl’s building. 

“Thanks for today Nicole.” She looked down to meet her eyes. “I’m really glad I ran into you today. I can’t imagine I would have kept my shit together had I been left to wander campus on my own all day.”

“I’m sure you would have done just fine on your own, Waves. You’re strong, I see it in you. But I’m glad I could be there for you.” She took a deep breath thinking about her own reasons for ditching campus today. “And, I think I needed a friend today too. So, thank you.”

When Waverly opened her door a few minutes later, finding an empty room, Nicole was glad she had asked to walk her back. The look on her friend’s face when she realized her roommate and best friend was missing broke her damn heart. So, she asked if Waverly was up for a movie on her laptop, an offer the brunette eagerly accepted and so they settled in side by side in the tiny bed to watch some rom com Waverly had in her Netflix queue. 

It wasn’t until the door unlatching stirred her that Nicole realized she had been asleep. Judging from Waverly’s gentle snores and the lack of bedside light, she knew she had been out for a while, long enough for Waverly to turn her light off, put her laptop down, and fall asleep at her side. She watched as Chrissy quietly shut the door and navigated through the near pitch-black dark of the shared room to her own bed. Luckily, Waverly woke from her sleep as well, and quickly picked up on the situation.

“Should I leave?” With how close they were laying together, she was able to whisper in Waverly’s ear, quiet enough to go unnoticed by Chrissy.

Waverly turned to face her. “No, not unless you want to.” Nicole’s eyes continued to adjust, slowly making out the shapes in the dark. She took a moment to consider whether she should get up and go back to her own bed or stay with Waverly. She knew what she wanted to do, but she knew she didn’t want to answer Shae’s questions in the morning. And of course there was the feelings brewing just below the surface. Would spending the night in Waverly’s bed do anything to help that… of course not. “Nicole? Do you want to leave?”

“Honestly?” Waverly nodded in response, uncertainty and possibly vulnerability showing dimly on her features. She was having a hard time deciphering the finer details in the dark, but she could tell Waverly was genuine in her response earlier. “No, I don’t.” She debated saying what was hanging just on the edge of her lips before throwing caution aside. “I really, really don’t.”

Even in the dark it was clear that Waverly was beaming back at her. She couldn’t help break out into a massive grin herself, only half caring if Waverly could see it on her face. Tiny but strong arms reached out and tugged her in closer until Waverly was able to cozy herself into the little void Nicole’s curled body created. Nicole wrapped her long arms around her and kissed the top of the head now nestled just under her chin.

“Nicole?” It was harder to hear the whispers now that Waverly’s voice was muffled in her own shirt. “I really, really, don’t want you to leave either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a ~week~. Ugh, so exhausted. Today is like the only day I had to rest and actually see my wife before I'm off again for a week and it has gone by far too fast. It's been like four and a half years since we have spent any sort of time apart and it sucks y'all. BTW - gentle reminder that I won't be posting chapter 6 until next weekend.


	6. Dreams, Desires, and Darkness Descending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memory comes when memory's old  
> I am never the first to know  
> Following the stream up North  
> Where do people like us float
> 
> \- Keep the Streets Empty for Me // Fever Ray

It was still dark when Nicole woke up again. And unlike the first time, she had no fucking clue where in the hell she was. Unluckily for her, but luckily for the other occupants of the room, she was completely frozen still and unable to scream bloody murder like she wanted to. A deep recess in her mind knew she had been dreaming, and it was over, she was awake now, and likely safe, but the larger and more present part of her mind was still lost in the woods, surrounded by fire and screams. In her mind, she was still a lost little six year old girl racing wildly for the shore, hoping to escape whatever horror was behind her. 

Yet, just like every other time she had this dream, the intense fear and sense of disconnect from reality faded with time. After five minutes of laying stock still, eyes dangerously wide open, breathing shallow and strained, she regained a sense of self and remembered where she was. And more importantly who she was next to. Between the lingering adrenaline and fear and the recollection of her sleep companion, Nicole was at a total loss of what to do next. Part of her just wanted to run. Get up, go, not look back, not explain, not face acknowledging that she, a mostly grown woman, a future cop, had nightmares, and bad ones. But another part of her just wanted to shake Waverly from her own dreams and beg her to hold her, to keep her safe, to be there. 

It was just about around the moment she flipped from option B to option A that Waverly stirred. Had Nicole been present minded, she would have realized it was probably from the fact that she had started to cry. But she was still mentally absent, and barely coherent enough to notice the small ball of warmth silently wrapping her up in short limbs.

“Shhhh. It’s okay. I’m here, okay. I’m here.” Waverly’s voice was so soft it was barely discernable, and yet that softness was precisely what she needed to rip the rest of her mind into this world.

“Shit. Shit. I’m sorry.” The embarrassment of being found out pushed her to extract herself, but the overwhelming need to be held won out, and instead of distancing herself, Nicole found her body deciding for her, pushing further into the open frame of the tiny woman holding her steady.

“Hey, no saying sorry, okay?” The words fell softly against her temple, Waverly’s lips brushing against the clammy skin. “I’ve got you babe. You’re safe.”

Perhaps given the context in which they were spoken, it would be understandable how neither of them realized the pet name slipped out between them. But Nicole did. Just barely, and not consciously. That realization would come later, but for now she noticed enough to feel safe. And welcome. And that was enough.

The pair stayed huddled into a tight ball until some unknown time later. Nicole could have bet it had been hours, but given the continued pitch black dark outside Waverly’s window, she supposed that wasn’t quite right. Regardless of specifics, it didn’t go unnoticed the irony of both women managing to have some sort of breakdown within the same 24 hours. At least they could both count on the other to be patient and compassionate. Nicole hadn’t had that many people in her life who she could place in that category.

“Hey, you asleep?”

“Mmm, no. Just calm.” And it was true. Waverly had managed to calm her like she had yet to manage on her own. Normally these dreams left her so rattled she couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now.” Waverly lifted one of her arms from its perch around her shoulder and quickly put it to use scratching lightly along her back. 

“Bad dream?”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Obviously, it was a dream, but there was something about it that felt like more. “Get them every so often.”

“I know what you mean.” Waverly moved to stretch out her frame, pulling Nicole down into the bed with her. “I’ve had this one dream over and over since I was a kid. It always freaks me out.”

Nicole let herself be pulled halfway on top of Waverly, letting her head rest on the smaller girl’s chest, one arm and leg draping protectively over her. “Yeah, that’s kinda what this one is like. I’ve had it since I was a kid, and it is almost always exactly the same. Just small little things here and there.” She took a shaky deep breath in and let it out. “I haven’t had one for a while though.”

“Well hopefully I’m not a bad luck omen.” Waverly chuckled a bit but Nicole sensed she wasn’t entirely kidding. “I’d hate to think I was causing you to have bad dreams.”

“I’m absolutely sure you aren’t.” She lifted her head and turned it up to catch Waverly’s eyes in the dark. “In fact, I’d say you might just be good luck. I’ve never been able to calm myself down like that before.”

“Oh.” Their eyes lingered for a moment until the strain on her neck forced her to return her head to its newfound pillow. “Well, in that case, maybe we should make sleepovers more of a habit.”

“And why is that?”

“To keep the bad juju away of course.” The hand scratching at her back lifted, finding a new home scratching gently at her scalp. “To keep you safe. Or at least help with the after effects.”

“Be careful, I might just take you up on that.”

“Good.” Nicole was forced to reposition herself as Waverly scooted further down into the bed. The new position left them at eye level. “We should try to sleep, if you think you can.”

Waverly turned her head to wait for a reply, leaving their faces so close she could feel the heat radiating off the other girl’s skin. “Uh, yeah. I think I can.” 

But then instead of turning her head back like Nicole expected, Waverly just kept looking at her. And, fuck, did that just do…things…to her. Almost as many things as the gentle tap of Waverly’s forehead to her own, or the way she let herself linger there, just looking at her. Almost as many as the way she licked her lips just a bit before breathing in like she was preparing for something. And she really almost went for it, almost leaned in to close the near nonexistent space between their lips, but something kept her from it, and she realized it was probably for the best given all the shit it would rain down on them right now. But that didn’t stop her from hating herself just a little for it. Because she would have bet a lot of money that Waverly would have kissed her back.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The soft click of the door closing stirred Waverly from her sleep. Based on the faint light, it was early, not long after dawn. Realizing Chrissy had likely just left, and given it was the one day of the week she knew her roommate had an early class, she figured it to be around 7am. She wouldn’t be in class for another couple hours, but waking early didn’t hurt. Especially since she didn’t know Nicole’s schedule intimately, so for all she knew, the girl had an early class this morning. 

She knew she should get up, wake Nicole, get their days going, but she wasn’t prepared to pull herself from the warmth of her bed, not that she was making much contact with it. Somehow in their sleep the pair had rearranged themselves resulting in Waverly apparently climbing on top of her friend, one arm and leg planted on the mattress, and just about everything else on Nicole. Given the intimacy of their sleeping arrangements and the nightmare induced cuddling session, she doubted Nicole would be terribly upset to find herself waking up to this. Waverly knew she certainly wasn’t.

Despite the emotional comfort of sleeping like she had, it hadn’t done wonders for her back, which was now all but screaming at her to stretch. She tried desperately to relieve some of the tension in her muscles without waking the woman beneath her, and she almost managed.

“Mmm, Waves?” Nicole’s voice was dusted with signs of sleep, a bit scratchy from going unused for so long. Waverly froze, not sure if she should apologize, suddenly doubting her earlier thoughts about Nicole’s desire to be slept upon. Deciding she had made the wrong choice, she quickly tried to slide off her friend, but strong arms pulled her back, holding her in place. “Stay. Please.”

“You sure… I’m not crushing you?” 

“Only a little.” Nicole’s arms squeezed gently, reiterating her desire for Waverly to stay put. “I kind of like it though. You’re like one of those weighted blankets. It’s nice.”

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or insult.”

Nicole snickered underneath her. “Mmm, I’d say the compliment. I mean who wouldn’t want to wake up to you on top of them?” Waverly buried her face in Nicole’s t-shirt, hiding the flush spreading across her cheeks. “I certainly like it.”

She untucked her head, and set it down on Nicole’s chest. If she listened closely she was able to hear her heartbeat. “Well, I didn’t exactly mind waking up on top of you.” 

“A girl can get used to hearing that.” It wasn’t the heartbeat Waverly heard this time, but the slight catch in Nicole’s breath just after her reply, as if she was waiting for Waverly’s reaction.

“Well, my offer still stands…”

“You’re offer?”

Waverly thought back quickly to their talk in the early morning hours. Had she offered to sleep with… no, next, to Nicole again? She felt like she had, but maybe it had been a dream. Just when she had managed to convince herself she had in fact dreamt it, Nicole remembered.

“Oh, you mean, for me to stay over again?” Waverly opted to nod in lieu of verbally replying, not feeling confident that she wasn’t making an ass out of herself. “Honestly, I thought you were just saying that. Were you serious?”

Nicole didn’t sound upset, or freaked out, or any sort of negative way, in fact she didn’t really sound any sort of way, just inquisitive. Waverly wasn’t really sure what to make of that, but what she did know of Nicole told her it was safe to answer truthfully.

“Yeah. If you ever need the company, or just don’t want to sleep alone… you are welcome here. Chrissy wouldn’t mind, I’m sure, and I certainly wouldn’t either.” Nicole was quiet and nothing in her heartbeat or breathing gave anything away, and that seed of doubt at the back of her mind started to sprout again. Every time she convinced herself she wasn’t overstepping, it tugged at her with its cruel comments and barbs. Yet, just like every other time, the doubt was kicked aside with Nicole’s voice.

“I mean, if you really are serious, I might just take you up on that. Things with my roommate are complicated right now and I don’t think she really wants me around.” Waverly looked up to find Nicole’s eyes rimmed with red. “I’m really worried about her, but I’m pretty sure I’m the last person she wants help from.”

Waverly slipped her arm out from under Nicole’s blanket to wipe away the pooling tears. “Hey, whatever is going on there, I’m sure you’ve tried like hell to help. Sometimes people just need some space though. I’m sure it isn’t you.”

“She’s my ex.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Nicole looked back down at her, their eyes meeting for the first time since their hushed stolen conversation hours ago. Waverly couldn’t miss the vulnerability staring back at her if she had gone blind. She almost looked…guilty? “Shae, my roommate, she uh, she didn’t take the breakup well, but things were getting better between us. It’s not like we had been serious. The roommate thing sounded like a good decision over the summer, but then we realized that we were so far off from what each other was looking for and I just couldn’t keep dating, and living together, and hoping things would drastically change, only to get more invested, and potentially more emotionally connected, for it to all come crashing down way too late.” She took a deep breath and for a moment Waverly thought she wasn’t going to say any more, but it seemed she just needed a moment to collect herself. “By the time we called it off, the both of us, it was too late to change our living arrangements, and it seemed stupid to make it into a big thing. We were still friends, we still hung out, there was no animosity. Shae still has feelings, but she agreed with me on why we couldn’t be together. So for the most part it worked. But then something changed, and I have no idea what. She won’t talk to me, she hasn’t been going to classes, she ditched meetings with advisors. Her sister has been blowing up my phone trying to get me to take her back as if somehow that will solve everything, but I don’t think that is what is upsetting her. At least not the only thing.”

Waverly had no idea what to say to that. Shae was brand new information and while she knew she and Nicole were not in a relationship, they hadn’t even so much as confessed their feelings, feelings Waverly was starting to accept she felt, but was still not even sure Nicole felt back, Waverly was jealous. And worried. What if Nicole decided to try again with Shae. She hadn’t stated what these important things keeping them apart were, but what if she decided they weren’t big enough reasons. And then Waverly looked back into her friend’s eyes and saw the raw helplessness and fear and her heart broke for her. Suddenly it didn’t matter what threat this girl was to her, she knew it was important to Nicole that she was okay, and it was all she could see, that hurt and worry.

“Oh, Nicole. I’m so sorry.” That seemed to be the final push that sent her over, the tears that had gathered in her eyes slipping free, slowly tumbling down her cheeks. “Hey, hey, look at me, hmm. Nicole, I may not have known you for very long, but I know you care. And I know you have tried and will keep trying to help, but maybe it’s time to ask for help yourself. You said she has a sister?” A soft nod confirmed for her. “Reach out to her. See if she can help. Or Shae’s friends?” Another nod. “You don’t have to single handedly fix her. This may not even be something anyone can fix for her. Just be there for her and if she won’t let you then find someone who she will let in.”

“I know. I just feel responsible. I feel like I’m the one who is there, who is her friend, her roommate. And trying to talk didn’t help, trying to coax her out of the room didn’t help. Leaving her be didn’t help either. Nothing is making it any better and she just keeps getting more and more upset.” The arms wrapped around Waverly lifted so Nicole could swipe away her tears. “I feel like she hates me.”

“Then maybe some space is for the best. At least for now.” 

Nicole took a deep breath in and nodded. “Yeah. You’re probably right. I’ll call her sister and see if she can come stay with Shae for a few days. Hopefully she answers, she hasn’t been showing up to band practice lately. I’m starting to think she blames me. I have a friend I can probably stay with, been filling in with her band since ours kinda imploded.”

“Hey, I really did mean it Nicole. You are always welcome here.” 

“I know you say that, and I trust you mean it, but this is Chrissy’s room too. I’m not about to make myself the uninvited houseguest. Or partly invited as it is.”

Waverly scooted off of Nicole and reached over to the table by her bed. She had noticed earlier but given the context of their discussion, it seemed like something that could wait, but now, well, now it seemed like the perfect time. Given their positions it was a bit had to grab both items and not topple over, but as if reading her mind, Nicole wrapped an arm around her middle to steady her and help her back.

Waverly eagerly sipped from the chai latte Chrissy had left for her, clearly indicated by the messy scrawl she knew to be her roommates. When Nicole arched a brow in her direction Waverly offered the second cup to the confused redhead.

“Uh…?”

Waverly smiled to herself and pointed at the sleeve around the paper cup. “Read the cup Nicole.” 

Obedient as a golden retriever, Nicole turned her head and read the writing on the second Chrissy gifted cup. “Not sure what you like so I got you what I get Waves. Next time you stay over maybe we can all hang.” Nicole looked from the cup to Waverly and back to cup almost as if she were waiting for it to come to life and talk to her like the sorting hat. “This is from Chrissy?”

“Yup.” Waverly sipped at her own latte and waited for Nicole to realize what it meant. After a few more glances between her and the cup, she took pity on the girl. “She likes you Nicole. She doesn’t mind you staying over. In fact, she wants to spend time with you. So maybe you should, you know, stay over and hang out….” Still looking like a lost puppy, Nicole tentatively took her first sip of her own latte, seeming to accept at least the one gesture. “Look, I’m not saying you have to stay here for however long Shae’s sister is there for, just try it out for a night.”

“Ok.”

Waverly beamed at the response, squealing a little too high pitched for the early hour, but the smile that broke out on Nicole’s face was enough to make her want to wake up early every morning.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole had to give it to Waverly. The girl was relentless. By noon, she had begun to doubt if it would really be a good idea to stay over again. After all, it wasn’t as if either of them had forewarned Chrissy she would be crashing there last night, let alone two nights in row. But of course, the brunette had known a hastily written message on a coffee cup wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her. Which was why she currently had her phone tucked under the table, texting a very welcoming Chrissy back that yes, she would accept BOTH their invitations and stay over tonight, and yes they could all hang out after Chrissy’s evening lab. She wasn’t normally one to be so rude, texting during a lecture, but she also wasn’t about to leave a practical stranger waiting another 45 minutes for a response after being so generous. With her response sent off, she returned her phone to her jacket pocket and her attention to her class.

By the time her last class finished, Nicole had already checked off most of her to-do list. The phone call with Tasha, Shae’s sister, had gone a lot smoother than she had anticipated. The older girl had been fretting over her sister’s well-being for longer than Nicole had realized. Apparently, her ex’s behavior wasn’t as new as it seemed. Three years ago Shae had taken up residence in her bedroom, refusing to leave after some still unknown something-or-other. It had taken their family months to get her to out and back to her life. None of them ever found out what had happened, but the heavy drinking, and moody behavior had been a staple then, and with its return came her sister’s worry. She had yet to tell anyone else in their family out of fear they would insist Shae leave school, something Tasha anticipated would only drag her deeper into her depression. So, when Nicole asked if she would be okay staying in their dorm room in her stead for a few days, Tasha readily accepted.

Of course, the concern she felt over intruding on Waverly and Chrissy’s space had been put to rest, at least for a one night stay. Tomorrow night she figured she would politely decline if re-invited and crash with Wynonna. Ever since Nicole had taken up playing with them, something that was quickly becoming less of a temporary thing given both the slow dissolution of her own band and the lengthy legal troubles of some guy named Bobo, who she had been filling in for, she had begun to form a haphazard friendship with Wynonna. Her liver may have something to say about that given the drinking habit of her new friend, but it was nice to get away from the academic drone and drama. 

It was kinda funny actually, because as much as Nicole tried to stick to the rules, and do what was best for her future, while Wynonna ran headfirst and recklessly to the other side, she couldn’t help but feel like she had found a bit of a kindred spirit. Neither had exactly shared their stories, but something told her they had a hell of a lot more in common than appreciation for well-timed sarcastic comments.

But for tonight she would happily accept the comfort of a one Waverly Earp and Chrissy (Chrissy Nedley, as she had recently learned). Their plans for the night were barely half formed, but what she gathered from it, it would involve drinking, some sort of activity, and then likely more drinking. Waverly had confessed she wasn’t one to imbibe on weeknights, nor was Nicole, but exceptions could be made for a good old fashion sleep over. 

Still on the list was the alcohol in question, a task Nicole readily volunteered for. She figured the least she could do for the other two women was to provide the libations for their evening. Alcohol wasn’t exactly allowed in dorms, not that anyone really ever checked, and it was one rule Nicole didn’t really give much thought to breaking. Her other chore was picking up enough of her stuff to last the next few days, along with all her school essentials. Tasha had agreed to four nights, as of now, meaning Nicole would be spending the weekend away as well.

She attempted to slip quietly into the room, hoping Shae would by some miracle be out, or at least asleep. Although she wasn’t so lucky in those regards, she did luck into Tasha’s early arrival. Nicole took the opportunity to make quick work of gathering her belongings, along with one more unreturned greeting to Shae and a silent thanks to Tasha. The second the door latched behind her she took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the weight of the situation fall away for the first time in too long.

With a few hours to kill before she was scheduled to meet Waverly outside her building, Nicole headed to the campus gym, figuring she could knock two things out at once, a hearty workout and a shower that wouldn’t come with the awkwardness of making use of the showers in a dorm that wasn’t her own. She made quick work of the walk, managing somehow not to drop any of her many bags. For the first time since Freshman year, she was grateful she had never turned her extra locker over to athletic affairs. It had of course come in handy as a student athlete that year, the only year in which she played a sport, well two: soccer and basketball. There were days where she almost missed it, but her grades came first, and there was no way she could juggle everything else and playing for the school. Somehow, they never removed her lock, and so the locker remained in her care. 

With no lack of effort, Nicole managed to stuff all of her belongings into the locker, though it took the full weight of her body to careen the door shut enough to slip the lock back in place. With that taken care of, she made her way to the indoor track, looking to warmup a bit before she got into her routine.

An hour and a half later, she stood under the regrettably frigid spray of the women’s locker room showers. It felt good to get back in the gym. She had let herself slip out of her usual schedule as of late, between her schoolwork, job, band practice, time with Waverly, and of course everything with Shae, it hadn’t been easy to keep up with everything. Her already aching muscles and the stack of books stuffed into the bottom of her locker demonstrated that a little too well. Given the unpleasant temperature and the general lack of privacy, she rushed through the shower, mind already planning out the use of her remaining time. Given how quickly she was falling behind, and how badly she wanted to be a good guest tonight and keep her end of the agreement to hang out with Chrissy and Waverly, it was imperative she did some damage control. 

With her thoughts outpacing her body, lost in its arrangement of tasks, Nicole missed the pooling water just outside the shower stall. Had it not been for her unusually keen reflexes, she would have wound up with her head cracked open like a watermelon on the less than pristine bathroom floor. Instead of a gnarly concussion, she found herself the proud owner of a muscle strain thanks to the sudden split she managed, leaving her walking tenderly back to her locker. 

Fuming with herself, she dressed quickly, eager to leave the gym before she let herself get too frustrated at her lack of attention. It wasn’t the first (or likely last) time she had pulled a muscle, and while she had always managed to get around just fine, the pile of crap precariously balanced in her locker didn’t promise it would be any easier to lug around this time. She let herself plop down onto the peeling bench in the center of the aisle, glaring back at the stack of all the stupid shit she just had to bring with her. Why did it feel like it was mocking her? Deciding she had let herself stew long enough, she yanked each bag out one at a time, draping each over a shoulder as it came. Finally, overladen again, she began the (slow) trip to the library.

By 8 that night she had gotten enough done with her homework and that one lengthy paper she had been putting off to not feel overwhelmingly guilty at spending the rest of the night neglecting her responsibilities. Her mood could have been better, but given the stress she had been under and her newfound injury, she figured she was allowed her slightly bitter demeanor, it could only be expected. What she hadn’t expected was the way all of those negative emotions and frustrations fell away at an overly eager Earp standing, or rather, bouncing excitedly, just off to the side of the entrance to the building. 

“Hey you!” Nicole could even hear how much her mood had improved. She really should remember this when finals rolled around.

Waverly immediately rushed over to unburden Nicole, making quick work of pulling nearly all the stuff from her shoulders. “Hey to you too.” There was a moment where they just stood in the near dark, staring at each other with what Nicole would have bet were equally goofy grins. “Shall we? Chrissy is still out, but she should be back shortly.”

“Lead the way.” With one last smile, Waverly turned and swiped her card to let them into the building. Thankfully, the bags seemed to weigh the short girl down just enough to slow her pace, leaving Nicole to hobble with what was only a slightly uncomfortable pace. It wasn’t until they were on Waverly’s floor and halfway down the hall that the brunette turned to see Nicole struggling to keep up.

“Nicole, what happened?” But before she could explain, Waverly ran forward to drop her load in front of her door before turning back to help Nicole with the rest of her stuff. “Why do you look like you just finished a weeklong journey on horseback?”

She couldn’t help but snort in response. There was something about the way Waverly made such a silly comment in a completely serious tone that caught her up in a swirl of appreciation and admiration. “Oh, you know… I might have slipped getting out of the shower.” They finished the trek to her room together, Waverly slowing herself to match Nicole’s pace. 

The first thing Nicole noticed when Waverly opened the door was how clear the room was. Not just her side, but Chrissy’s too. Waverly carried the lot of Nicole’s bags to the foot of her bed, making a neat pile before returning to extract her backpack from off her shoulders. The next thing she noticed was the space cleared off Waverly’s nightstand. It usually was buried in a stack of books and notes nearly a foot deep, and yet there was a decent sized chunk of space cleared away closest to Waverly’s bed. It was obviously deliberate, and Nicole had a momentary suspicion that it was done for her benefit, a suspicion confirmed when Waverly invited Nicole to make use of it for her phone, watch, etc. She had crashed in friend’s rooms before but this was a first, someone setting aside space for her, a gesture about a dozen times more meaningful when you consider the limited space of a shared dorm room. Despite all the efforts of the duo, Nicole had just a hint of lingering doubt at just how welcomed she really was to stay with them, but after seeing how Chrissy had taken measures to clean up her side of the room in anticipation of her stay, and how Waverly had set aside space for her… she felt almost at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, I'm finally back home after a very long couple of weeks and honestly... I'm completely run ragged. What does this mean for you and our story? Well, I intend to return to my Wednesday postings now that I'll actually, you know, be around and whatnot... however, I need a damn break so instead of posting the next chapter in a measly 3 days, I'll start back on schedule a week later. While I had hoped not to skip any weeks, I think it is in all our best interests that I catch up on sleep and spend some time with my wife. I was kinda hoping to keep her around so I suppose it would help if I were to do some of that there bonding people keep mentioning. Hope you all have a good 10 days. Try not to set too many things on fire, or do, whatever, I'm not judging.


	7. Whiskey, Wii, and Wanton Women

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living for, living for a thrill  
> Just waiting, just waiting
> 
> \- Steve McQueen // M83

It had been a feat, getting through all that grading she had let pile up. It wasn’t something she made a habit of, but a lot of habits of late had slid. Between her budding friendship with Nicole, Chrissy’s newfound boyfriend (ish), and breakup with Champ, most of Waverly’s free time had been spent away from her usual companions. In fact, almost all her free time had been spent with Nicole. Okay, so maybe even some time she didn’t actually have free, until she made it free, to see Nicole… But this evening would be different what with her plans to spend some quality time with her best friend and new friend.

Knowing Chrissy would be gone for hours and that Nicole had her own errands, Waverly had spent the afternoon and early evening locked away in the history department furiously marking up papers. The excitement welling up in her abdomen at the thought of a night with two of her three favorite people (Wynonna barely clinging to her spot given her seemingly complete departure from Waverly’s life) made the work even more difficult. Especially the thoughts of spending another night in bed with Nicole. For some reason, it had been that thought that plagued her, puncturing her attention repeatedly. And yet somehow, she had made it through, freeing her mind and conscience to fully enjoy the evening. 

Which brought her to the first real glimpse of the evening to come, Nicole’s brilliant smile, beaming through the foggy twilight air despite the obvious pain etched into the recesses of the girl’s features. Waverly had filed away queries for later, instead eager to get back to the room, not willing to waste a moment of the little one-on-one time they had before Chrissy’s arrival. But of course, with Nicole’s injury came a hiccup, she hadn’t been able to go to the liquor store, which by any Earp’s standards would not do. And so, the pair had (rather carefully and slowly) made their way down to the student parking lot closest to Waverly’s dorm.

“Hey, I’m sorry about this. I really had intended to go before I came over… “

Waverly whipped her head around, quickly cutting in to stop Nicole’s unnecessary apology. “Nope. You don’t get to apologize for something that is totally not your fault. Besides, now we get to go together.” She turned her attention back to the road, but offered a hand out for Nicole to take, just in case there was any residual doubt in her companion’s mind that the slight change of plans wasn’t a problem.

Nicole accepted the proffered hand, pulling it into her own lap. Waverly wasn’t entirely sure, but she thought Nicole’s hands were shaking, just a bit, almost too subtle to notice, but she was pretty sure it was there. She made one last turn into the store’s parking lot, pulling into one of the many empty spaces, but made no move to get out.

“Nicole?” She turned her body to face the redhead. The sun had now long ago set, leaving just the dim flicker of the store’s neons left to illuminate the Jeep’s interior. It wasn’t quite enough to make out by sight whether Waverly had imagined the slight tremor. “You okay?”

She felt the reassuring squeeze to her hand, the one still lingering in Nicole’s lap, interwoven with those delicate, long fingers, before she heard Nicole’s response. “Yeah, of course. Shall we?”

Waverly considered for a moment, suddenly feeling a wave of affection surge through her bones. There was a flash of desire, brief but overwhelming, that for that singular second made her want nothing more than to tug Nicole into her space and kiss her. But the click of the passenger door opening ripped the thought from her mind, leaving Waverly to stuff all of those emotions back into the depths of her mental filing cabinet. That pesky one she kept cramming full of Nicole related feelings.

So instead of kissing her friend in the darkness of a barely in business liquor store parking lot, she wandered through rows of precariously stacked cases of cheap vodka, contenting herself with merely holding the woman’s hand.

“Oh my god, Waverly, you have to see this.” Nicole’s voice drifted in, cutting through the mental fog. Waverly turned her attention the small display just to her right. “Dude, is this seriously bubblegum sake?”

Waverly grabbed a bottle from the display, turning it every which way to look for some sort of English translation. Not seeing any indication of where Nicole pulled that suggestion from, she reached over to deposit the bottle back in its spot, only then noticing the sign just above indicating that it was in fact bubblegum sake. 

“I think so, yeah.” Deciding to give it a shot, because why the hell not, she placed the bottle in their basket much to the dissatisfaction of her shopping partner, at least based on the muttered ‘ew’ she heard from behind her.

After another five minutes and two more additions to the basket (those additions being a bottle of whiskey, because duh, and a replacement bottle of the ‘good’ vodka for Chrissy), Nicole payed for the lot and tentatively led them back out to the Jeep.

As much as Waverly was eager to have their shared night of bonding, she was just a little disappointed when the dorm room door opened to Chrissy. She had wanted just a little bit of time to hang out with Nicole before the trio got together, but their impromptu liquor run had evidently taken the place of that. If she wasn’t mistaken, there might have been a slight flash of that very same disappointment on Nicole’s face too, but if there was, it was hastily done away with.

In usual fashion, Chrissy greeted her with a quick peck on the cheek, a gesture she shared with Nicole as well. She couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the look on Nicole’s face when Chrissy went in for it. The poor girl looked completely lost, arms stiffly held out, eyes popping and staring at her as if to ask, ‘what is she doing?’. When Chrissy pulled away, Nicole at least had the wherewithal to compose herself a bit, managing no to look entirely shell shocked.

“So...” Chrissy said, clapping her hands once before gesturing to the paper bag Waverly had carried in. “What did you two bring?”

Waverly set the bag down on her desk and pulled the whiskey out, setting it off to the side, followed by the vodka, before taking the last occupant out and holding it out at Chrissy. “You’ll never guess what we found!”

Chrissy took the bottle and glared at it as if it might explode. “The hell is this?”

“Yeah… that, is bubblegum sake.” Nicole piped up from her perch on Waverly’s bed. “Your brilliant roomie over here snatched that disgusting shit up the second she saw it.” Chrissy’s face displayed much the same look of horror that Nicole’s had at the shop. “There is NO way I’m touching that monstrosity, but all the more to you if you decide to imbibe.”

Waverly shot a look over at the redhead, but the wink she got in return made it clear the comments were lighthearted. “Yeah, well, more for me then.”

“Oh no, I’m going to try it.” Chrissy said, pulling the bottle back just out of shot of Waverly’s outstretched hand. 

“By all means.” Waverly said, shooting a second look over at Nicole, hoping it came off only a little bit smug. 

Both women turned their attention to Chrissy as she cracked the seal, and took a sniff. The only reaction they were gifted was her slight shrug before she tipped the bottle back, taking a full shot’s worth of the liquid into her mouth. The blonde’s eye immediately squinted and cheeks puffed out. A moment passed before she swallowed a hastily shoved the bottle back into Waverly’s hands.

“Nope. Nope, nope. No way. That is the devil’s drink.” Chrissy declared. “That may be the grossest thing I’ve ever had to drink in my life.”

Nicole burst into laughter. “I knew it!”

“It can’t be that bad.” Waverly said, lifting the bottle to look at the label, as if it would chime in and defend itself.

“Oh, but it is.” Chrissy replied, cracking open a can of soda she had pulled from their mini fridge, downing half of it instantly, obviously in hopes it would replace the lingering taste of the sake.

“I bet it isn’t that bad.” Nicole offered, earning her a kind look from Waverly. “Not to say it probably isn’t bad, just not that bad.” She added, gesturing to Chrissy who was busy wiping her tongue down with a tissue.

“Thank you.” Waverly said, joining Nicole on her bed. “Sorta.”

Chrissy stopped her overreaction long enough to glance at the pair, now side by side. Something in the look made Waverly feel as if there was something brewing in her friend’s brain. It only took a moment for her to be proven right.

“Well, we could make a friendly wager…” Nicole looked interested but Waverly knew the blonde well enough to be at least a little hesitant to accept. “If the two of you can each drink, let’s say… three shots worth, of this revolting crap, I’ll do whatever dare you want.”

“And if one of us doesn’t?” Nicole asked, leaning back on her arms.

“Then you get to do a dare of mine.” Chrissy said plainly. “And you can’t just shoot it. You have to actually drink it.”

Waverly had fallen victim to too many of these antics to accept, something Nicole clearly didn’t get.

“Deal.” 

They both turned to look at her expectantly. Realizing she would probably regret agreeing, Waverly relented with a simple nod of her head. Chrissy eagerly busied herself, pulling some cups out of a small plastic bin under her bed. She poured the two drinks, offering the chipped mug to Waverly and the beer glass to Nicole.

Waverly peered at the clear liquor, hesitant to take the first taste. She glanced over at Nicole, whose smug smile was wiped clear off her face the moment she sniffed the drink. Fuck, they were in for it. Figuring it would just be best to get over it, she took her first drink. At first it didn’t seem that bad, but the longer it lingered in her mouth the fouler it became. Based on the look of unease on Nicole’s face, she knew she had done a poor job of hiding her reaction.

Taking another sip, she choked it down. “It isn’t that bad Chrissy.” But of course, it really was, and her gag reflex took its cue to give her away. There was still have about a third of it left in her mug too. There was no way she would be able to stomach it without a break.

Thankfully, Nicole caved and took her first drink. Miraculously, she swallowed without incident, and quickly took a second mouthful before everything went downhill. With a matching gag to Waverly’s, Nicole quickly spit the booze back into the glass before shoving it at Chrissy.

“Oh sweet Jesus. That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.” Chrissy refused the offering, pushing Nicole’s hand back at her, glass of used sake included.

Waverly took another look at her mug and settled her stomach, intending to finish the job and drink the remaining abomination. But the second it hit her lips, the gag came back and she quickly changed course. “Nope, can’t do it. I cave.”

“I second that.” Nicole stated, setting her glass down on the desk with a trembling hand. “That is…” She shivered in place of finishing the statement.

Chrissy, for what it was worth, managed to control her pleased reaction. Waverly was thankful for the small things, including the winner not only taking her win in stride, but offering to go clean both of the cups.

The moment the door shut behind her, Nicole turned to look at Waverly accusingly. “You, you brought that… that thing here. This is totally your fault.”

“Yes, okay. I’ll take the blame for that, but you are the one who accepted that bet. So, your fault.” Waverly said as she reached into the drawer of her nightstand for a tin of mints. She took a moment to consider before dumping about seven into her palm. Nicole accepted the offered tin, taking at least as many. The only sound for a moment was their shared crunching, both all too happy to replace the aftertaste.

“So, how bad is this going to be?” Nicole asked, minty breath drifting into their shared space.

“No idea.” Waverly let it hang it the air a moment before something struck her. “Oh god!”

“What?!” 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Jesus, Waverly, what is it?” 

She turned to sit cross legged facing Nicole, taking a deep breath before starting in. “Okay, so I might have told Chrissy about the last time.”

Nicole turned to mirror her. “Last time?”

“Our bet.” Waverly stated, brushing her fingers through her hair. “And the kiss.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t really make out the expression on Nicole’s face. Was she mad, indifferent, frustrated? Fuck if she knew. “So, you think this bet thing is in reference to that?”

“I mean, maybe?” It would make sense. Since that confession the morning after, Chrissy had dropped more than a few not so subtle hints and questions. Waverly definitely got the impression that her roomie was trying to suss out if there had been a repeat encounter, and if not, if there would be. “Shit. Probably. There is a good chance she is going to try to get us to kiss again.”

“Would that be so horrible?” Nicole almost looked hurt. Just a bit.

“What? No! I mean… no, of course not. Not horrible. But would it be weird? It would be weird, right?” There was definitely something brewing behind those eyes, Waverly could see it, no matter how hard Nicole was trying to keep it tamped down.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be. Assuming that is even what she picks.” Waverly couldn’t stand to see that insecurity playing out on her friend’s face. She reached out to take both of Nicole’s hands in her own, a gesture not too dissimilar from earlier in the night.

“No, you are right. It doesn’t have to be weird. I mean besides Chrissy being there. Oh god, that is going to be sooo awkward.” She could feel her face flushing at the mere thought of having to kiss Nicole in front of someone else. Not that she would be embarrassed to kiss her, or for someone to know. But for sure the whole exhibitionist thing. 

“Fuck. I didn’t even think about that.” Nicole groaned, dropping her head onto Waverly’s shoulder. “I mean, we haven’t even kissed sober before, so it would basically be like a first kiss.”

“Right.”

“And then Chrissy being there.”

“Right.”

Silence spread out from them, blanketing the whole room. Waverly freed a hand from Nicole’s to run soft circles over the girl’s back. “You know…” Waverly started before quickly cutting herself off. That was not the right suggestion by any means.

“You know… what?”

“Uh, nothing.” She replied in singsong.

“What is it Waves?”

She groaned out, embarrassed at having to explain her idea to Nicole. Opting for the privacy of burying her face in Nicole’s shoulder, much like the taller girl had done with her, she whispered out the thought. “Well, maybe it would be less awkward if it wasn’t our first.” The room remained quiet, no response. Which of course prompted Waverly into one of those damned mumble fests. “I mean, because you were saying it would make it weirder, you know, so like if it wasn’t the first time, not that it would be because we totally kissed before, like a lot, but of course we were drunk, and this time we aren’t, and there is no way to get drunk in the like minute left or whatever before Chrissy returns, so maybe it would be better if we just kissed now, to avoid the whole first time thing, and god, now you probably think I’m like some freak or something, and…”

“Woah, okay, take a breath.” Nicole suggested, raising her head from Waverly’s shoulder. When Waverly kept her place, Nicole sighed, sensing the embarrassment radiating off her. “It’s not the worst idea you know.”

“What?” That got her to lift her head. Nicole was just looking back at her softly.

“We could. If you want.”

“Kiss?”

“Yeah, why not?” Why not? Maybe because she had been smacking down those budding urges to kiss her repeatedly like some sort of hormonal whack a mole game. And kissing her now was sure to do nothing to help that. But the thought of having to push through that with Chrissy watching was way worse. “Okay.”

Nicole slipped one of her hands out of the one Waverly still had gripped between hers, placing it on the back of her neck softly. Waverly’s breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t stop staring into Nicole’s eyes, the very ones that were now searching her for a sign she had changed her mind. Somehow her body kept creeping forward, their knees now knocking together, faces so close she could taste the mint on Nicole’s breath. “You sure?” She watched the whisper float off her friend’s lips.

“Yeah.”

And before she could second guess herself, Nicole closed the distance, soft supple lips clasping her own, and everything else fizzled out around her. It was like someone had turned the volume all the way down. All she could hear was her own heartbeat, the way it pounded furiously. There was a brief second where Waverly was genuinely afraid she might have a heart attack. And yet, she felt so alive. The way their lips slipped against each other, the feel of Nicole’s teeth skating just barely across her bottom lip as they moved to get closer, the pressure of those delicate fingers digging lightly into the base of her neck, begging her in. 

Nicole shifted first, pulling her in and onto her lap, their bodies pressing together, momentarily returning the thumping of her heart to the forefront of her mind. No longer needing her hands for balance, Waverly reached out, wrapping one arm around Nicole’s middle, edging out any lingering space between their bodies, the other sweeping up to thread itself in that gorgeous red hair.

Feeling a bit bolder in the moment, she let her tongue explore Nicole’s bottom lip and that damn piercing she had been eyeing since their first meeting. At the first touch, Nicole let slip a soft moan, and suddenly nothing was enough. Waverly’s fingers gripped hard at Nicole’s hair, pulling back enough to separate their lips, leaving her neck open. She immediately took the newly exposed flesh between her teeth, biting just enough to leave Nicole squirming, but not too hard to actually hurt her.

“Oh fuck.” The words fell from the redhead’s lips as Waverly soothed the mark with open mouth kisses before going for a second target. “Jesus Waves.”

That was enough to illicit a moan from her own mouth, something that caught her off guard, but only seemed to propel Nicole. In a blink, Waverly was on her back, Nicole pressing into her from above, and god if it wasn’t exactly where she wanted to be.

“Yeah, of course. It’s just in here. Give me a sec and I’ll bring it over.” Chrissy’s voice carried in from the hall. But unlike the last time, neither made to rush away, instead Nicole dropped her head to Waverly’s, groaning out in frustration. 

“Sorry.” She whispered up to the girl hovering over her.

“Me too, trust me.” They stayed put a half a second more before Nicole rolled off her and moved to her previous spot at the edge of Waverly’s bed.

Someone had turned the volume back on but now all Waverly could hear was their combined heavy breathing.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole had never been more grateful for Chrissy’s distracted state when the door opened. She and Waverly had righted themselves, now seated a respectable distance away from each other, but not too far to cause suspicion. The only thing giving away any clue as to the last couple minutes’ activities were their mutual disheveled hair. Well, that and the fact that both were still slightly out of breath. But Chrissy barely paid them a glance let alone two, before she was digging through the mess under her bed, coming up with a text book that had certainly seen better days. And with a hastily thrown out ‘be right back’ the door was shut again.

Nicole busied herself running fingers through the rats nest on her head, trying with little success to rid the evidence of what had been a much more involved kiss than she had intended. Waverly however sat stock still, staring a bit lost at the wall opposite to her bed.

“Hey, you okay?” She asked, reaching out to take the brunette’s hand before stopping half way, unsure if it would be a welcome gesture in the moment.

“Huh?” Waverly replied, still lost in thought.

Nicole slipped off the edge of the bed to kneel in front of Waverly. “Are you okay?”

“What? Of course!” Waverly’s eyes snapped out of their deadlock, coming down to meet Nicole’s. “Why?”

“Uh, you seem a bit… I’m not really sure.” She seemed, could it be, in shock? But that didn’t really seem to follow, given it had been her idea, although doubtfully to the extent it ended up playing out. When there was no response, she finally let herself reach out, placing a hand lightly on the short girl’s left knee. 

“Yeah, sorry. Just… thinking.” 

Silence fell in again, leaving Nicole lost for words or actions, settling only on letting her thumb drift aimlessly around Waverly’s knee. Her own mind started to wander, doubt creeping in. Should she have let it get so out of control? It had seemed like Waverly was completely present in it with her, but maybe she had missed some sort of sign, that it wasn’t as mutually enjoyable as she had thought.

“I can hear you freaking out you know.” Waverly said, bringing a hand down to rest on Nicole’s. “What are you thinking about?”

“I should be asking you that.” She sighed, dropping her head on the unoccupied knee in front of her. Waverly squeezed her hand repeatedly until she picked her head back up. “Waves, did I do something wrong? Did I overstep?”

“No. I promise. You did… everything right.”

Well that was confusing, because it sure as hell did not feel like that. It felt more like she had accidentally crossed some unspoken boundary. Like maybe Waverly was regretting the kiss. 

“Will you come back up here?” She took a chance glance up into Waverly’s eyes and saw only sweetness. Maybe she was just overthinking. With a gentle prod, she took the hint and rose from her spot on the floor to sit beside Waverly again. They sat there for a little bit longer before Waverly spoke again. “I think I want you to kiss me again. Wait, no. I know I do.”

And despite her ability to follow through the previous times Waverly made that request, she couldn’t bring herself to move. She just stared back at the woman looking at her, looking at her like she was essential to life, and she couldn’t fucking move. Not a goddamn inch. So, Waverly moved for the both of them, leaning fully into Nicole’s space and capturing her lips in what was certainly a shockwave powerful enough to set off every volcano, dormant or not, in all of North America.

Unlike either of the other times, they kept their composure, content to just exist in the pureness of the moment. And when Waverly pulled back, a wave of goosebumps broke out across her skin, because damn if that wasn’t the best kiss she had ever experienced.

“Wow.” It was the only thing she could muster, despite the millions of more composed thoughts crashing about in her mind.

She was saved from pulling anything else out by Chrissy’s reappearance.

“What’d I miss?”

\----- ------ ----- ----- -----

The rest of the evening had gone by without any further ~incidents~. They had settled into heavy drinking, gossip (mostly about Stephanie’s new boyfriend who had been caught screwing some girl from his business class by none other than Stephanie herself), and drunken Wii. Unsurprisingly, Nicole and Waverly both were competitive to a fault, and thus absolutely destroyed Chrissy, who had opted to act as commentator for the latter games, leaving the other two women to toss barbs and taunts at each other all night.

By 1 am, Chrissy had passed out in her bed, despite the triumphant shouts of Waverly or Nicole, who were taking turns besting each other. By 2 am, Nicole had consumed enough to warrant passing out herself, but somehow she had managed to stay awake so far. Waverly had begun to fade as well, yawning every few minutes or so.

Nicole placed her controller down and stretched out as best she could in Chrissy’s desk chair. “Should we call it a night?”

“Oh, thank god. I thought you were going to want to go at it all night!” Waverly’s eyes flew open as soon as she finished the sentence, realizing a little too late how it sounded. Nicole let her off with a simple chuckle. She rose from the chair, a bit unsteady, thanks to their heavy drinking. Waverly took a little longer to pry herself from her own desk chair, leaving Nicole time to dig her toiletry case from her duffle bag. 

They padded off to the bathroom together, neither particularly sober enough for idle chit chat. By the time they returned, Chrissy had begun to snore, but Nicole figured after how much they had imbibed that night, she and Waverly would soon be following. Speaking of Waverly, Nicole rose from her second duffle dig, this time for shorts and a t-shirt, to find Waverly topless, turned away from her as she pulled a t-shirt of her own on. Heat that had nothing to do with alcohol spread through her chest at the sight, leaving her temporarily stunned.

Luckily, she was able to snap out of it before Waverly turned around. But that of course left Nicole with the opposite problem. She looked down at the clothes clutched in her left hand, not really sure if she should just strip down in the middle of the room, turn away from Waverly, or just head back to the bathroom to change. Before she was forced to decide, Waverly passed her, turning off the overhead room light, leaving only the dim lamp on Chrissy’s desk to provide a soft glow. Figuring it would be about as much privacy as she could expect, Nicole pulled her top off, followed by her bra, before quickly cramming her torso into the oversized tee, all of which occurring while Waverly rearranged the many blankets on the bed, facing away from her. With the cover of the long shirt, she kicked off her jeans just as Waverly had turned back around. The shirt was long enough to cover everything that needed to be covered, but her long legs were left on display, something Waverly clearly took note of, judging by the way her eyes were currently glued to Nicole’s toned thighs.

She stood there for a moment, letting the smaller girl take her in, almost daring her to look, which she did. Her stare wasn’t broken until Nicole pulled on her shorts and strode over to the bed she would be sharing with her, again. She slipped under the covers, careful to keep her body at least mostly on her own side, something that was much easier said than done given the size of the bed.

“Should we turn her light off?” Nicole whispered to her right.

“Probably.” Waverly answered. Seeing as the brunette was boxed in, Nicole took the task on and padded over, taking a moment to push the desk chairs back in so no one would break a toe in the night. Just before the light slipped out of the room, she caught sight of Waverly eying her again. She looked almost… hungry? The thought sent a chill down her spine.

When she returned to bed, Waverly had scooted in towards the middle more, forcing their bodies in closer. She certainly wouldn’t complain. Taking the hint, Nicole situated herself so she was looking up at the dark ceiling, arm draped out for Waverly to cuddle in at her side. They took a few minutes to adjust here and there, finding their comfortable spots eventually. With how tired she was, she would have been out in a matter of minutes had it not been for Waverly’s first question. 

“Can you believe what Chrissy chose as her dares for us?” 

Nicole couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “No. Although, you weren’t too far off, at least for mine.” She thought back to Chrissy’s declaration and the flabbergasted look on Waverly’s face when she realized not only would she not be kissing Nicole, but Nicole would be kissing Chrissy, and then picking who was the better drunken kisser, her or Waverly. Thankfully, Nicole had managed kept the kiss brief, and sheepishly admitted that her choice was Waverly. Chrissy didn’t look too put out by it, shrugging it off.

“Am I really the better kisser?” Nicole’s heart ached at how unsure Waverly sounded. Unlike Chrissy, it seemed to hold some value to Waverly.

“By far and away.” She answered honestly. It wasn’t as if Chrissy was a bad kisser, just over abundantly straight. Straight girls always kissed differently. She couldn’t really describe how it was different but it was. Waverly didn’t though. Kissing her was more familiar. 

Hoping to steer her thoughts out of dangerous territory, Nicole brought up the other half of the dare. “Can’t say I’m not impressed by yours though. Talk about irony.”

“Yeah, thanks asshole.” Waverly said, as she buried herself further into Nicole’s embrace. It really was ironic though. Chrissy had insisted Waverly finish the bottle of bubblegum sake, all on her own, before the end of the semester. It honestly was pretty fucking hilarious.

“Hey, careful with the asshole name, or next time I kiss one of your friends I’ll say they are the better kisser.”

Waverly scoffed. “You better fucking not.”

“What? Kiss your friends or say they are the better kisser?” 

“Both.” Waverly’s reply came out sounding completely serious.

“Are you jealous Ms. Earp?” Nicole asked, readjusting slightly so she was facing Waverly. There was a muttered ‘maybe’ in the dark, just barely loud enough to make out. “Were you jealous tonight? When I kissed Chrissy?” 

Quiet was her only reply.

“Waves?”

“Yes. Okay. I was jealous.” She could hear the tiny woman’s voice shaking.

“Oh.” She really didn’t know what else to say. It had started out jokingly, but it was suddenly a very real thing and she didn’t quite know what to do with that information.

Nicole stayed, hovering slightly, unsure what to do or say. Not feeling like anything that could come out of her mouth would be right, but also feeling like she couldn’t just say nothing. In her silence, Waverly scooted closer, brushing her cheek lightly with her knuckles.

“Is that okay Nicole?” She asked. “Being jealous?”

She let out her own shaky breath. “Yes.” She took hold of the hand delicately tracing her jaw and brought it to her lips. “I can definitely be okay with that.”

Waverly’s thumb broke free of her hold, finding purchase on her bottom lip, following its lines in the dark. Feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to keep her burning desire stamped down any longer, Nicole leaned forward so Waverly’s thumb slipped between her lips and let her herself suck gently on the soft pad of her thumb.

“Oh god.” Waverly whispered, the sound of which caused Nicole’s eyes to flutter closed. She continued on with her efforts until Waverly withdrew her thumb. “Sorry, it’s just that Chrissy is sleeping right there.”

She had almost forgotten about the room’s third occupant. Reluctantly she pulled back, settling into her place on the outer side of the bed. She had resigned herself to the awkwardness of the night’s ending before she felt a gentle kiss to her cheek and she smiled into the dark.


	8. Halloween for Haught and a Hot Mess for All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True, it's a beautiful view  
> But you know they're gonna set it on fire  
> When they feel like something new
> 
> -BIG TV // White Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @not_a_bat, why are you posting, it is Tuesday, not Wednesday?
> 
> Ah, yes indeed it is, but there are .... .... reasons. What are those reasons? I'm busy tomorrow packing for a particular event which just happens to be Earp related and located in Canada... wonder what that could be.
> 
> Which means also, I will be busier than usual this week and may or may not be able to post next Wednesday. No promises but I'll do my best.

Waverly woke to hushed whispers and struggled to clear the fog from her eyes. It wasn’t dark out but her alarm had yet to go off, so it couldn’t be that late. With a grunt, she rolled over to face the room’s interior, catching sight of two blurry figures across the room. There was a fraction of a second where Waverly felt herself become frustrated. It wasn’t like Chrissy to have guests over so early in the morning, let alone while Waverly was still asleep. But with a rub of her eyes, and refreshed vision, Waverly spotted Nicole sitting at the foot of Chrissy’s bed and remembered their sleepover.

Her momentary frown fell away, quickly replaced with a sleepy grin. Neither of the other two women had noticed she had awoken yet, and she was perfectly content to steal this quiet moment for herself. Their whispers didn’t carry well enough for her to make out the conversation, but by the smiles on their faces, Waverly figured that maybe they were becoming friends, something she couldn’t be happier about. She absolutely loved Chrissy to death, and her feelings for Nicole, while complicated, were anything but small. If two people she cared about greatly were finding a place in each other’s lives, well, she couldn’t be anything but overjoyed.

Chrissy’s eyes scanned the room, looking for something and caught Waverly’s with a smile. With another unintelligible whisper between the duo, Nicole turned and locked on, beaming at her in the early morning light.

“She lives.” Nicole said as she patted Chrissy’s knee and rose from the bed. Waverly scooted back into the wall, lifting the blankets to make room for Nicole. 

“Barely.” No doubt, she had a yet to be determined degree of hangover, but she would gladly take the discomfort if it meant she had gotten to spend the evening and night with the room’s other occupants.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Nicole slipped under the covers and pulled Waverly in so she could rest her head on her chest. 

Chrissy sniggered from the other bed, but said nothing as she gathered her shower caddy and towel. The only thing she offered with her exit was a knowing grin and a wink in their direction.

With privacy restored, Waverly felt a small crest forming on the antsy waves sloshing about in her chest. Everything about Nicole lately made her feel a little too much, but when they were alone, it was heightened to the point that she never quite knew what to do or say. Nicole appeared to have either fallen asleep or lost her voice, which suited her just fine given the whole lack of words thing. She figured it was at least a step up from rambling.

After a few minutes of still silence, Nicole shifted to face her, seeking out eye contact. Those waves, the ones that had finally started to mellow, came surging back and it was all she could do not to let herself become completely overwhelmed. Nicole, ever the gentle soul, seemed to sense Waverly’s trepidation and gave her some relief, choosing to close her own eyes as she brought their foreheads together. The simple contact grounded her and elevated her feelings simultaneously and any lingering doubt in Waverly’s head that she wasn’t seriously infatuated with the woman in her bed flew off in that instant.

“Are you coming back tonight?” Waverly whispered between them. She wasn’t sure what she wanted Nicole’s answer to be. A yes meant another night together, hanging out, probably with Chrissy. Which would be fun. It also meant another night sleeping curled together, the third consecutive night in fact. Waverly wouldn’t exactly label that as fun, more like, tempting. Yet, a no meant she would be without those temptations. Probably for the best, yet, not exactly what she wanted either.

“Not tonight. I have a huge weekend, between work, and the show.” Nicole whispered back.

Show? Had she zoned out when Nicole mentioned some show, or was this new information? “The show?” She seriously hoped it was the latter, not wanting to come off like a disinterested jerk.

“Oh, shit. I meant to invite you and Chrissy earlier but I guess I forgot I hadn’t yet.” Nicole opened her eyes again, catching hold on Waverly’s. “That band I’ve been playing in, we are playing at the bar I work at Saturday night.”

Waverly pulled back a bit so she could prop her head up on her hand. “Isn’t Saturday Halloween?”

“Yes. Which of course means there is absolutely no obligation for either of you to come if you already have something lined up.” Nicole rolled onto her back, gesturing in the air above her as she continued. “Not to say I wouldn’t love for you both to come if you can. Or just you if Chrissy is busy. No pressure though.”

“You’re really cute when you get flustered, you know?” She said, surprising both herself and Nicole. “I just mean… actually, I’m not really sure what I mean. I guess just what I said.”

“Oh.”

The blush on Nicole’s cheeks probably matched the blush on her own, but for some reason, Waverly felt a bit emboldened by it for once. “Then again, you’re pretty much the cutest thing in the morning anyways.” The redhead’s face darkened, nearing the color of her hair, but the smile on her face made Waverly feel less like a creeper for speaking so openly.

“I think that honor goes to you.”

She broke out into her own smile but buried her blushing face in the crook of Nicole’s neck to hide the evidence. Long arms wrapped around her, pulling her in tighter, both clearly in no rush to break the embrace.

They stayed pretzeled up until Waverly’s alarm went off. As reluctant as she was to leave the comfort of Nicole’s warmth, she didn’t exactly hate the way her obnoxious alarm forced her to drape herself completely across Nicole’s torso. Based on the nearly imperceptible groan from beneath her, Nicole certainly didn’t hate it either. 

She slid back across the woman splayed out atop her bed to her own side, alarm now silenced, but the need to get up lingering. “I suppose we should probably start getting ready.”

“Unfortunately.” Nicole stretched out, offering Waverly a welcomed view of her abdomen, something she felt a very sudden need to caress. 

“But you definitely aren’t coming back tonight?”

“No, not tonight at least. And probably not Saturday either. I’ll crash with a friend form the band. We’ll be out late both nights for work and the show so it just makes sense to stay with her.” She replied, pulling her long legs out from under the sheets.

“Okay, well, if you change your mind, just text me.” Waverly followed Nicole’s lead and stumbled out of bed. “I can’t promise about Chrissy, but I’ll be there Saturday. Just send me the address and time.”

Nicole put her bag back down from where she had been packing to walk over to Waverly, taking the shorter girl into her arms for a deep hug. “I can’t wait.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

With great effort, Nicole managed to walk just about normally into the dingy garage to find it empty, and quickly decided a detour inside wouldn’t hurt. Her first trip to the house had been an event, what with the absolute chaos of its occupants and the first-time jitters of trying to fit in with a pre-formed group. It took all of twenty minutes for that outsider feeling to fall away. Wynonna had made quick work of liquoring everyone up, which helped the group to be a bit more comfortable. Every trip thereafter had steadily trucked Nicole further into the group to the point where she really felt like she belonged. 

Her first stop inside was to the already overladen couch, dropping the still excessive amount of crap she had been lugging around. The second stop was to the fridge to grab a beer, hoping a little hair of the dog would tide over what had turned out to be a measurable hangover. Classes had been rough, but with band practice and work still looming, it wasn’t looking to get any easier. And of course, there was her new injury to contend with. Pulled muscles didn’t exactly lend themselves to enjoyable practice sessions. She was mostly just hoping to grimace through today and bet it all on feeling better tomorrow. Like that would actually happen.

She cracked the tab on the can and took a long drink, stomach rolling just a bit, protesting at her introduction of the very thing that had caused it so much discomfort. She quietly shushed it and started the journey over to the back deck figuring the rest of her band mates would be waiting for her arrival in their usual spot. 

Sure enough, Wynonna was busy arguing with Dolls over who was the better pool shot, while Henry leaned lazily against the railing, watching with subdued distaste. Nicole had grown to suspect some sort of love triangle was brewing between them, but chose to stay out of it if at all possible. She knew a little too well how meddling in other people’s drama could derail a band.

“How long have they been going at it?” She asked, joining Henry. In place of a verbal response, he merely turned his attention to her and shook his head before righting himself to stroll off inside the house.

“No way in hell. Come on, man. Just admit that I am far superior and I just might let you overpower me in other ways later.” Wynonna retorted, accompanied by a hearty smack to his ass. Nicole rolled her eyes and told herself this was one time she didn’t want to be right, and yet it sounded like she just might be. Figuring it would be best for everyone involved if she made her presence known, she cleared her throat with as much emphasis as she could muster.

“Haught! Bout damn time you showed up.” Wynonna said cheerfully, leaving Dolls to stand uncomfortably on his own. “Suppose that’s our cue to get this shit show on the road then?”

From the recesses of the house, the trio on the deck heard a less than polite response from their fourth bandmate and took it as enough of an affirmative. Nicole waited for the other two to walk in before beginning her slow and very uncomfortable mosey to the garage.

They managed to get through about 45 minutes of practice before Nicole demanded a break. Her muscles were screaming and it was getting hard to move at all. Taking it as an excuse to drink more, Wynonna wandered off to the kitchen to procure what would most likely be whiskey. Henry excused himself in his overly polite manner for a smoke, leaving just Nicole and Dolls.

“Haught.” He said, wandering over to sit on a lawn chair that had certainly seen better days. “Care to explain why you keep grimacing every few minutes?”

“Not particularly.” She busied herself checking the tips of her sticks for cracks but after a full minute of silence she gave in. “Fuck, fine. I might have pulled a muscle last night.” He nodded in response, still overly quiet. “And I might be in a lot of pain. Happy?”

“Why would I be happy about that?” He asked, checking the watch on his wrist. Not for the first time she wondered how in the hell someone so uptight managed to get on with someone as reckless and carefree as Wynonna. “Are you going to be fine to play tomorrow?”

With an abundance of noise, Wynonna returned, tossing beer cans at the two of them. Given her hands had been occupied, it was a wonder Nicole managed to catch hers lest she add facial injury to the list.

“Why wouldn’t she be fine to play?” Wynonna asked, taking seat on another disgusting lawn chair. 

“No reason.” Nicole answered, not wanting to get into it any more.

“Bullshit.” Wynonna slapped her boots up on the top edge of her bass drum. “What’s wrong with you?”

Nicole saw red. “Get your filthy feet off my drums or I swear to god you will be the one who won’t be able to play tomorrow.” Her fingers flexed painfully around her sticks as she struggled to compose herself. Wynonna looked to consider her options for a moment before rolling her eyes and dropping her boots roughly to the cement floor.

“You’re the one who insisted on playing them this weekend. Fuck if I know why. You know Dolls can’t play guitar for shit.” She threw out. Dolls, for what it was worth, kept his cool a hell of a lot better than Nicole figure he would. There were probably a few dozen retorts just sitting there begging to be uttered back, and yet he calmly rose from his chair and headed out the door to join Henry.

“That was rude.” Nicole said flatly, cracking open her now hopefully less jostled beer.

“Yeah, well. Whatever.” She seemed extra pissy suddenly. It didn’t really seem as if they had been fighting earlier, but Nicole could only assume whatever arrangement they all had wasn’t always smooth sailing. “So what the fuck is wrong with you anyways?”

“I’m fine.” Nicole spat. Wynonna kicked her shoe in response, which of course hurt like all fucking hell. “Jesus, lay off Wynonna.”

The brunette sighed heavily and slumped down in her chair. “Fine. But seriously, what is wrong with you?”

She couldn’t stop the groan before it came out, but if anyone wouldn’t be fazed by it, it was Wynonna. “I pulled a muscle, that’s it. I’ll be fine.”

“Just a muscle? That’s it.”

“Yes. So can we all stop obsessing over me now?” She asked, setting the half-empty can of beer down on the cold cement.

“Sure thing.” Wynonna almost never gave in so easily, which of course made her nervous. They sat in silence for a moment before Wynonna scrapped her chair back suddenly, knocking the can over. “Shit. Well don’t just sit there Haught, go get something to clean this up with.”

“You’re the one who knocked it over.”

“Yeah but you’re the one that put it there.” And even though she was closer to the door, instead of heading inside herself to get a paper towel, Wynonna merely plucked the can up and proceeded to drain the last of its contents, crushing the aluminum and tossing it unsuccessfully at the trash can across the garage.

Grinding her teeth just a bit, Nicole rose from her seat and made it teetering half way to the door before Wynonna shouted after her. “I fucking knew it Haught! What the hell did you do to yourself?”

Of course, it had been a damn trap. Wynonna had watched her put the can down, she knew it was there. The stubborn woman just couldn’t help herself, as usual. “I told you I pulled a muscle.”

“You conveniently forgot to mention which one though…” She looked absolutely gleeful. “So tell me, how ~exactly~ did you hurt yourself?” Wynonna finally stood from her chair and walked over to stand beside her. “Oh, don’t tell me. Didn’t you stay with that girl you’ve been crushing on last night?” Nicole shot her a warning glare, which obviously did nothing. “Someone got fucked good last night.” And despite Nicole’s clearly unamused face, Wynonna still offered up her hand for a high five.

Luckily, the men folk returned in time to save Wynonna from the abundance of profanity Nicole was about to lay out on her. Wynonna, for her part, looked completely unfazed, and happily took her place without a single comment. Figuring it the best outcome she could ask for, Nicole returned to hers as well.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly’s Friday went a lot better than expected given Thursday night’s activities. The moment Nicole had invited her to the show she knew she would go, no matter how badly she needed to get work done. But she had already made more academic sacrifices than she was willing to accept, almost entirely to spend more time with the very same redhead. So, as a compromise, she shut the world out and set up camp in the library the moment her last class finished. Had it not been for Chrissy showing up with snacks late that night, Waverly likely wouldn’t have so much as eaten a cracker. 

Saturday was turning out to be not much different. She had spent the better part of the morning grading papers in the history department’s break room, with a follow up study session at the library in the afternoon. By about five she had managed to finish nearly everything she needed to for the weekend and finally left the library with a clear conscience. 

Chrissy was still out with her now official boyfriend when Waverly got back to her dorm. They had both agreed to accompany her later that night to the show, and from what Waverly gathered from a very brief text, Nicole had a few other friends coming that would be happy to meet up with them if they wished. She had yet to meet any of Nicole’s friends, so on one hand, she wanted to agree, but on the other, she wasn’t entirely sure that her emerging gay feelings for Nicole were subtle enough to pass for a night of what would likely be heavy drinking…again.

With a quick check of her phone, Waverly decided on a short nap, something she desperately needed if she were to last through the night. The last thing she wanted was to fall asleep at the first show Nicole invited her too. And honestly, even though Nicole had said she would be crashing with her band mates both nights, Waverly still held out a bit of hope they might be able to steal some time together, just the two of them, after everyone else turned in. It was unlikely, especially knowing that Nicole was probably bone tired after practice and work last night, work this afternoon, and then a show.

Slightly out of character, Waverly kicked her shoes off mid-room and climbed into bed in the hoodie and leggings she had worn all day. Burying herself under the covers, she let her mind float around for a bit. She was normally able to fall asleep fairly quickly, but her thoughts kept drifting to one particular subject: Nicole. If she pressed her face into her pillow just so, she could smell the faint hint of vanilla.

Thursday night had been a lot. A lot of fun and a lot of revelations. For example, revelation A, her very much not straight ‘girl crush’ and exceedingly gay attraction to Nicole. Revelation B, said attraction being accompanied by legit feelings. Revelation C, Nicole was a blindingly amazeballs kisser. And lest we not forget, revelation D, Waverly desperately wanted that to happen again. Like a lot.

She rolled onto her back, hoping the loss of Nicole’s scent would pull her from her mind and let her sleep in peace. Thankfully it worked. Unfortunately, she dreamt about her. And it was… also eventful.

 

Something told her she had been to the bar before. It wouldn’t be an absurd notion. Plenty of college kids went here regularly. Likely, Champ had brought her at some point to watch some band one of his loser dude-bro friends were in. She had no way to know, but something told her that Nicole’s wouldn’t be dude-bro-y. 

Speaking of Nicole, she was nowhere to be found. Waverly had thought they might get a chance to talk or even just say hi, but for the life of her, she was nowhere in sight. It didn’t help that about half of the occupants currently were wearing a costume of some sort. Just when she had resigned herself to waiting it out awkwardly for Chrissy and Perry’s arrival, someone slipped their hand into hers. 

There were two things a lot of people didn’t understand about Waverly Earp. One: she was small but she could properly kick pretty much anyone’s ass. Two: she had been through enough bad situations in her life not to ask questions before reacting. Luckily, the owner of the hand spoke up a mere fraction of a second after they threaded their fingers together, saving what turned out to be Nicole from a dislocated shoulder.

“I’m so glad you came.” Waverly let her muscles relax, and told herself not to get frustrated, that Nicole had no reason to know just how worked up Waverly would get at a simple action. “Hey, you okay?”

She took a calming breath and turned to find a tall figure in a black cloak and mask standing behind her. Instinctually her muscles tensed again, something that went far from unnoticed by the other person. A hand quickly pushed the mask up and out of the way, revealing a very concerned Nicole Haught.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Waverly. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Nicole said, placing both hands on Waverly’s shoulders as if checking her for physical damage. “Here, follow me.”

Waverly let herself be pulled through the crowd, trying hard to get rid of the lingering anxiety. It wasn’t until they were in the freezing cold of the night that she realized Nicole had taken her out back. She took a look around as Nicole propped the door open with half a cement block. The area was fenced in with a few pieces of ratty patio furniture scattered around. Probably a break area for bands and employees she guessed.

Nicole scrapped a chair across the ground towards Waverly before sitting down and patting her lap. Without a thought, Waverly sat in the proffered lap and curled up in the safety (ironically) of Nicole’s robes. “I’m so, so sorry Waverly.” Nicole cooed, rubbing her back gently.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered, finally feeling herself relax. She uncurled herself but didn’t move to rise from atop Nicole’s legs. “I have to ask though, what’s with the get up?”

Nicole rolled her eyes and slipped down a bit in her chair, careful not to jostle Waverly too much. “Ugh, not my idea. The whole band is wearing them. Something about getting in a festive spirit.” Her head flopped back, eyes staring up into the cloudy night sky. Waverly’s line of sight fell from those soft eyes, following her jaw and finally to her exposed neck. “Don’t get me wrong. Halloween is fun and all, but playing in these will not exactly be easy.” 

All it would take is leaning forward just a tad bit more and that silky pale flesh would be all hers to kiss and nip. But that would be a very bad idea. Which luckily stopped her from doing said bad idea, but not from thinking about it. It had felt really, really, good the other night after all. And it wasn’t like Nicole didn’t seem to fully enjoy it herself. If Waverly remembered correctly, it got her a very interesting reaction. 

“Waves?” She struggled to pull her attention off the throbbing pulse in Nicole’s neck and back up to the eyes that were now trained on her. “Are you okay? You can tell me if you want.”

That softness never failed to melt her. “I’m okay.”

“Because, if you aren’t, there is no pressure to stay. I promise. I won’t be upset if you want to leave.” Nicole said into the dark. Waverly’s heart broke just a bit at the way her friend tried so hard to keep the disappointment off her face, but failed to hide it entirely. 

“No.” She leaned in again, resuming her makeshift snuggle position from earlier. “I want to stay.” Nicole didn’t seem too convinced. “I promise.”

The warm body enveloping her held tighter, cause a chill to shoot across her spine despite Nicole’s heat. “Thanks.” The whisper fell at her temple and she tried hard not to physically react.

They stayed bundled up for a few more minutes before Nicole reluctantly stated she needed to go get everything set up. Waverly felt conflicted, half not wanting to give up the privacy and comfort of having Nicole’s arms wrapped around her, away from the chaos inside, and half wanting to finally see what Nicole would look like playing up on stage.

Deciding it wasn’t her place to take up any more of her time, Waverly let Nicole lead her back in the same way she had led her out, with her fingers delicately threaded between Waverly’s. Despite the time they had managed to steal for themselves, Waverly found herself needing just a moment more. Not entirely in control of her actions, she suddenly stopped in the middle of the cramped hallway causing Nicole to turn around in confusion.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

“Will I see you after?” She blurted out. Nicole smiled down at her, telling Waverly exactly what her answer was.

“Of course. Only if you want to wait around that long though. Don’t feel obligated.” Those long fingers between hers were playing with her knuckles and the last thing she wanted was to let go.

“I’ll stay.” Nicole’s smile turned into a full-on moonbeam and Waverly couldn’t help but beam right back at her. Gathering the last little bit of courage, she rose up on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss just to the side of Nicole’s lips before leaving her stunned in the hallway while she went off to find Chrissy.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“Where the hell have you been? We need to set up like fucking now.” Wynonna offered. Mind you, she was in no way helping, choosing to occupy her time blowing through a massive bag of chips. 

“I was with a friend.” She replied. Dolls had already unloaded most of their stuff, thankfully. The last thing she needed right now was to aggravate her pulled muscle lifting heavy equipment right before they went on.

Wynonna tossed the bag down, not bothering to so much as roll the top down. “This wouldn’t happen to be the same friend you totally ‘weren’t boning’?” The air quotes were completely unnecessary, but most things Wynonna did fell into that category.

“Considering I haven’t ‘boned’ anyone in a while? No.” Nicole snatched the bag up from the table and placed it securely in the wrinkly plastic sack of snacks Wynonna insisted on bringing with her.

“Yikes. No wonder you’re so uptight.” She rolled her eyes at the comment but otherwise ignored it. “But just to clarify here Not-so-Haught, this is the friend you want to bone, right?”

Apparently, the eye roll wouldn’t be enough. “Wynonna.” She sighed out in frustration. “Can’t you, I don’t know, maybe help instead of interrogating me about my sex life?”

“What sex life?” Okay, burn, but also, fuck her. At least she wasn’t likely screwing two guys simultaneously. “Come on, tell me who she is and maybe I can help you out, huh? I make a good wing man, just ask Dolls.” 

At the mention of his name, Dolls put the guitar he was unloading down and stared coldly at her before turning his attention to Nicole. “Oh, sure. If you like being set up with a prostitute.”

“How was I supposed to know she was a prostitute?” Wynonna whined. “Whatever, ignore him.” Finally getting up from her spot, the brunette walked over and slapped Nicole on the ass. “Look, you want help getting layed or not?”

“Not.”

Wynonna pouted at her but made no move to retract the arm that was now draped around her shoulders. “You guys are a suck fest today, geez.”  
Henry appeared from his trip out on stage where he had been setting up equipment only to promptly return seeing Wynonna’s mood. Nicole was only slightly envious. “Wynonna, as much as I… appreciate… your offer, I’m not really the friends with benefits type. I have no intention of sleeping with someone I’m not in a relationship with.”

“Boooooo.” At least that got her to buzz for the moment. “Fine, go be all mature and shit.”

 

The show had gone a lot better than she hoped. Her pain levels had decreased dramatically since yesterday’s practice, and the robes hadn’t been too burdensome. It might have helped to see Waverly staring up at the stage enchanted through their set. Nicole couldn’t wait to finish tear down and go see her friend. But of course, Wynonna had promptly fucked right off the moment they finished, bitching about how hot the robes were and how her breath kept fogging up the mask. Never mind the fact it was her damn idea in the first place. Typical. That, of course, meant more work for the rest of the band, delaying Nicole longer than she wanted.

After finishing with their tasks, everyone but her went to the back alley to relax for a bit. She hoped they would get any excitement out of their system now. When they all showed up earlier Dolls had promised they would not to be too rowdy when she returned to the house later, but you never knew. It wasn’t like she could ask that of them, especially given she was a guest, but she sure as hell wouldn’t complain. It had been a very long weekend, and she still had a terrifying amount of school work to do tomorrow. Hopefully their standing Sunday study date would still be in place tomorrow and Nicole could bank not only on productivity, but time with Waverly.

“Hey you.” A soft voice drifted in from the hallway. Nicole finished pulling her robe off, having neglected removing it in favor of finishing their tear down routine. Waverly stood in the doorway awkwardly.

“Hey!” Nicole dropped the garment on the table, noting Wynonna’s forgotten snack sack. “What did you think of the show?”

Waverly wandered in tentatively, almost as if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed back there. “It was great Nicole, absolutely great!” Nicole instinctively opened her arms for Waverly to fall into and breathed in deeply when the smaller woman took her place. “You were wonderful.”

“Thanks, Waves.” She whispered, holding on a little tighter than strictly necessary. “I’m really glad you came.”

“Me too.” Waverly pulled back just enough to look up at her. “It was… something else.”

“Hopefully that is good?” Based on the look in those beautiful eyes, Nicole guessed, yes, it was good.

“Very.” 

The moment lingered, the two of them holding each other, not moving forward or backing away, just existing in their shared space. Not for the first time, Nicole wondered what would happen if she were to simply lean down and kiss Waverly. 

“Hey, we were going to head out in a minute, need anything?” Nicole looked up to see Doll’s torso hanging into the room.

“No, I think I’m good.” Waverly turned to face the room’s new addition, waving sweetly at him. “Oh, sorry, I suppose I should introduce you two. Waverly this is Xavier, but we all call him Dolls, and Dolls, this is my friend Waverly.”

There was yet to be a time Nicole had witnessed anyone look anything less than elated to be in Waverly Earp’s presence, and yet… here was Dolls looking outright horrified. She chanced a confused glance down, hoping something on Waverly’s face might give away what she was missing, but the girl looked just as confused as she was.

“Uh, Haught… can I talk to you in private for a moment?” She stood there, not really sure what was going on or why he was acting so strange. She certainly didn’t want to leave Waverly here alone to go to talk to him, but it didn’t look there was much of a choice. 

She nodded at him and turned to face Waverly. “Um, I guess I’ll be right back? I’m sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into him.” She squeezed Waverly’s shoulders reassuringly and started out the door, only to turn and offer another quiet ‘sorry’.

“What the hell, man?” She spat the second they were out of earshot.

“Nicole… how much do you know about Wynonna?” Well that wasn’t what she expected as an answer.

“I don’t know. Not that much I guess.” She was getting really irritated. “Care to tell me why the hell we are having this conversation right the fuck now?”

“What is her last name?” He asked simply.

This was beyond trying her patience. “I don’t know. She refuses to tell me. Something about her having a record and me being a future narc.” She brushed her hair out of her face with an exasperated sigh. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“What is Waverly’s last name?”

That gave her pause. Why would he want to know that? “It’s Earp. Why?”

He rubbed at his face aggressively, clearly frustrated with something. “You need to get her out of here now.”

“Like hell I will.” She threw at him. 

“Look, I’ll explain later, but we can’t have her here when Wynonna returns.” He looked almost desperate.

“Dolls, what aren’t you telling me?” This was really starting to freak her out and she seriously didn’t like it.

“It’s Earp.” He said. Well no shit, she had just told him Waverly’s last name. “Wynonna’s last name is Earp.” Well fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is going to EhCon, I'll be there (in case the prior note didn't convey that clearly), come say hi. Also, check out my wife's panel on evil and heroism in Wynonna Earp: To Hell and Back.
> 
> In other news, I recently dug myself out from my cave and joined Twitter. Come scream obscenities at me if you so wish (@not_a_bat).


	9. Confrontation, Collusion, and Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loose talk around tables  
> Abandon all reason  
> Avoid all eye contact  
> Do not react  
> Shoot the messengers  
> This is a low flying panic attack
> 
> \- Burn the Witch // Radiohead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update. Life has been a lot lately for a number of reasons and I have been struggling to get through some emotional gauntlets and keep up with all of my responsibilities. I've had this written for a while but I just couldn't bring myself to actually proof read and post. I have chapter 10 done, but I'm fairly certain it needs heavy editing, so it might be a bit. Our fall semester started last Monday, and I have an insane class schedule, tutoring, and I just picked up a TA job, so needless to say, I won't have the same time as I have had over the summer. What does that mean for our story? It is highly unlikely I will be able to get a chapter a week out, my goal is more in the range of every other week, but until I really get into the fray, it is hard to estimate. For now I'll leave you with this chapter and hope to return with the 10th soon(ish)!

Nicole felt the floor give way under her, yet somehow, she was still standing stock still in front of Dolls. There was no way what he was implying could be accurate. Surely, at some point, someone, anyone, would have said something to connect the dots. Literally one single fucking comment somewhere in the vast conversations with basically everyone else in her inner circle. There was no way, just absolutely no way, she could have missed something this big if it had been in front of her.

Wynonna had become a sort of unusual friend of hers. They bickered constantly and lord knew the woman drove her crazy, but they kind of got each other. Most of their conversations didn’t stray too far into personal business though. Wynonna had mentioned a sister, but no name. Nicole figured they weren’t close enough to reach for information on something that appeared to be a bit of a sore subject.

And of course, she had never mentioned Waverly by name to any of them. They had chatted here and there about a friend of hers she was into, and the delicate nuances of crushing on someone either straight or still in the closet, not that any of them really understood that struggle. But it was nice to vent. Given the nature of the subject matter though, Nicole made every effort to keep Waverly’s identity out of it in the off chance that it got around. The last thing she ever wanted to do was out Waverly if she really was gay, or bi, or anything other than absolutely straight.

But Waverly, certainly Waverly would have mentioned her sister’s name. They had that whole heart to heart about it not long ago. There had even been some mentions of the mystery woman here and there afterwards. And yet, Nicole couldn’t think of a single time that Waverly had mentioned the girl’s name. That felt odd. Why had she never asked? That seemed like a really glaring omission right about now. Then again, despite their closeness, they hadn’t known each other that long, so it made sense that Nicole wouldn’t pry into that sort of family drama uninvited.

Dolls shook her desperately, pleading silently for her to fucking move already. What the hell was she supposed to do? Stand and wait for them to discover each other, giving Waverly no warning whatsoever that the sister she was so distraught over had returned with a lot to answer to? No, that wasn’t the right way. Okay, so then should she listen to Dolls and just get her the hell out of here while there was time? That seemed even worse somehow. Waverly would know something was wrong, and Nicole couldn’t lie to her, wouldn’t lie to her. She deserved the truth. But there was no way to explain that in the ever decreasing amount of time they had to fix this fuck up.

But because the universe apparently hated her tonight, it turned out she didn’t need to decide after all…

“Hey fuckers, which one of you stole my snacks?” Nicole could almost feel the blood rush out of her face at the sound of Wynonna’s voice carrying through the narrow hall.

Part of her wanted to just stay exactly where she was, facing away from the impending crash, staring off into space, but then Doll’s eyes grew far too wide for her liking and her body moved of its own accord. She didn’t know what was worse… the shock on Waverly’s face when her eyes landed on Wynonna, or the way they flashed her way, almost begging Nicole to take it back for her.

“Hey, losers, I asked which one of you took m… oh fuck me.” Wynonna screeched to a halt, frozen in place, eyes locked on the sister’s that she had long neglected and owed a hell of a lot of explanations to. Wynonna was a lot of things, but fearful wasn’t one Nicole could have associated with her until right this moment. Waverly’s eyes were piercing through the taller of the two Earps with laser focus and with a rush Nicole was almost certain she was about to throw up.

“Wynonna?” She phrased it as a question, but there was no need for anyone to answer.

Miming her younger sister, Wynonna shot Nicole a look. She could almost pinpoint the moment the foulmouthed woman realized who her baby sister was there for. Wynonna wasn’t and idiot, Nicole could tell she knew she was in trouble, and yet, ever the asshole comedian, Wynonna just couldn’t help but reply. “Hey sis, long time no see. I hear you’re banging the ladies now… good on you.”

She could have honestly murdered Wynonna right there with her bare hands. Screw the witnesses, she would take prison right now over the absolutely scalding look Waverly threw at her.

“You?” Waverly’s fists were shaking and her eyes had turned this awful red color and Nicole just knew the tiny woman was doing everything she could not to cry. “You knew? You’ve been friends with her all this time? At what, lying to her that we were together?”

“No, Waverly, I had no idea!” She squeaked out. “Please, I …”

“What else have you been telling people, huh?” She forged on, apparently ignoring Nicole’s pathetic attempts to correct, well, everything. “You telling people we had sex, is that it?” She spun around, daring anyone else to intervene. “Because let me make this PERFECTLY clear to everyone… you and I, are nothing. Not friends, not dating, and most definitely, not fucking. Got it?”

Nicole’s voice was lost in her throat, too tied up in its own attempt not to break apart. How was this happening. Everything was wrong.

“And you!” Waverly spun back to face her sister, who was still very much unflinching rooted to the floor. “How long Wynonna, huh? How long have you been back and not a word? No phone call, no letter, nothing. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for years. YEARS!” 

Wynonna finally moved forward, which was obviously the wrong move seeing as Waverly took it as her cue to turn on her heels and get the fuck out as fast as (super)humanly possible. Everyone was in utter shock. The only sound in the hallway besides their breathing leaked in from the still cracked door, and yet it felt absolutely deafening.

“What the fuck just happened?” Wynonna said, crashing back into the wall and sliding down the ripped wallpaper. “I didn’t know she was here. She never, I never thought, I …”

Dolls resumed his aggressive face rubbing, leaving just Nicole unmoving, tears now freely falling, droplets splashing at her feet completely unnoticed.

“Haught?” Wynonna asked, voice smaller than she had ever heard before. “Nicole?” That was honestly probably a first. She couldn’t think of a single other time she had used her first name. “Nicole!”

It was the last thing she needed right now and every bit of rage flew out of her simultaneously. “FUCK!” Her fist slammed into the wall, denting it slightly, not that anyone there would care. Her hand though, well, that was a bit worse off, blood already dripping off her scraped knuckles, needles shooting up her wrist and forearm. 

Wynonna glanced up at her, opening her mouth as if to say something. Nicole couldn’t stomach listening to any half-formed excuses. “Shut it, Earp!” The last part came out with such vitriol Wynonna looked like she had been slapped. She felt betrayed. Wynonna had no obligation to spill her dirty secrets, and yet, Nicole couldn’t help but feel betrayed. She could only imagine how Waverly felt.

Her heart thumped painfully and she felt a sob escape. Waverly. Sweat and loving and beyond compassionate Waverly. Who now was probably an absolute wreck thanks to the sister she loved despite so many reasons to stop. The one who left her behind, seemingly forgotten, only to show up unannounced and with nothing to say for herself. Except to incriminate Nicole, for something she hadn’t even done nonetheless. Wynonna had not only managed to step in it, but dump a whole damn cart load of it right onto Nicole.

Nicole, who was suddenly realizing that Wynonna’s words painted a picture so far from the truth, and yet exactly what Waverly would fear worst. That two people she cared about were conspiring behind her back. Her big sister and her friend, the friend she had let in so many ways, laughing about her misery and comparing notes, and lying about relationships. Waverly clearly thought Nicole had been telling people they were together, or fucking, or something to that effect, which was painfully far from the truth. Nicole had done everything she could to keep their secrets and privacy. But almost worse was that Waverly probably thought she knew about Wynonna and deliberately hid it from her, lied to her.

Her hands were violently shaking as she pulled her phone out of her jeans, struggling to unlock the phone without dropping it. Three texts were waiting for her, one from Waverly and two from Chrissy. She opened Waverly’s first.

Waverly Earp: Don’t bother texting or calling me, I’m blocking your number.

That was it, the only message Waverly thought her worthy of. Bypassing Chrissy’s for the moment she went into the contact info and hit the little phone icon to call her, but it wouldn’t go through. She quickly navigated back to messages and opened Chrissy’s.

Chrissy Nedley: I don’t know what just happened, but you need to fix this.  
Chrissy Nedley: Actually, it’s probably best you stay away for now. I really hope this isn’t true Nicole. She really trusted you.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly couldn’t think of a single time in her life she felt this let down. Her childhood knocked at the door in the back of her mind begging to differ, and yet she knew it still didn’t compare. Because that she had grown up in, she was indoctrinated into that disappointment. Between her mother leaving, and her father’s neglect and abuse, not to mention her sisters, she had been vaccinated with that disappointment. Willa had been an absolute terror and Wynonna had been so preoccupied trying to satisfy their oldest sister to notice Waverly’s mistreatment. It was only after that things between them changed. And then she left.

Waverly had tried to hold out hope that Wynonna would come home one day. And for a while they talked occasionally, but evidently she still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t even that Wynonna had stayed gone so long that hurt. It was that she came back. That she had left Greece, come all this way, and made not a single attempt to contact her. Nothing.

And Nicole. That hurt worse. Because Nicole had been nothing but a rock since they had met. Always patient and understanding and kind. Or so she thought. They had talked, she had opened up to her, been vulnerable. They both had been. But maybe that wasn’t true. Maybe Nicole had faked it all. Maybe she had been manipulating her this whole time. For amusement? To get her in bed with her? 

It didn’t feel right. Waverly couldn’t accept that the person she had grown to know, who she trusted without fault, had betrayed her so completely. And yet, here she was. Perhaps it was her. Just a pathetic judge of character. 

She rolled over in bed, facing the wall for privacy despite the fact that it was pitch black dark and she was completely alone. Chrissy had wanted to stay, had begged her to let her stay. And she almost gave in but ultimately she couldn’t stand being around anyone right now. She just needed to wallow. To grieve. 

Her focus was cut by some commotion outside her door. She twisted in bed to look at the alarm clock on Chrissy’s bedside. It was really late. Too late to be from Halloween stragglers. After a minute of silence, she turned back over only to hear raised voices again. Pissed off, she surged out of bed with every intent to whip the door open and flay whomever was on the other side, but then she heard that voice and froze.

“You can’t stay here.” A girl pleaded again. “I’m serious!”

“Just let me be, please.” Nicole begged. “I can’t leave yet.”

“It’s late and you shouldn’t be here. Just go back to your own room already!” The other girl demanded. “Look, if you aren’t gone by the time I come back, I’m getting the RA and calling campus security.”

Waverly heard the girl stomp off, followed by the unmistakable sound of Nicole crying. What in the hell was she even doing here? She had made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing to do with her.

“Waverly?” The voice was higher now and Waverly realized Nicole must have been sitting outside her door before, whereas now she sounded right on Waverly’s level. “Please, if you are there, just let me explain. It isn’t how it sounded, I swear.”

Her heart was ripping in two directions. She wanted Nicole to leave so bad, to just go away already. But she also wanted to fling the door open and crawl into her arms.

“Waves, I didn’t know. Please believe me.” A choked sob interrupted. “Please just let me in. I’ll leave as soon as I explain, I promise.”

Those stomps returned and with it, the now pissed second girl. She listened with her ear pressed into the door as Nicole reluctantly agreed to leave, apologizing profusely for upsetting Waverly’s neighbor. 

Surprising herself, Nicole, and the other girl, Waverly opened the door. Realizing she had nothing more to bitch about, the girl left, leaving Nicole frozen in place a few steps away, looking confused at Waverly’s sudden appearance.

“You can come in.” She said dryly. “But you only have five minutes, got it?”

Nicole swallowed visibly, looking like she might be regretting her decision to beg admittance, but in the end, she came in and sat down awkwardly at Chrissy’s desk. Waverly shut the door and chose a seat at the foot of her bed, staring Nicole down. It nearly broke her to see Nicole so devastated, staring at the tips of her sneakers, absolutely lost.

“You are the one who wanted to talk Nicole.” She prompted, starting to lose her patience after a couple minutes of silence.

“Right, right.” She replied, more so to herself than Waverly. They stayed in place for a few more seconds before Nicole pulled her gaze up to meet Waverly’s matching bloodshot eyes. “You have to know that I had no idea. You never told me your sister’s name and Wynonna never told me hers. Or her last name. I only found out seconds before you.” It seemed a bit unlikely but she let her continue. “That is why Dolls pulled me out of the room after the show, to talk to me about that. He recognized who you were from a picture, and when I mentioned your name, he knew for sure.”

What if Nicole was telling the truth? Maybe she really had no idea. “That still doesn’t explain Wynonna’s comment though. About me ‘banging girls now’.”

Nicole let out a frustrated sigh, wringing her hands together. Waverly hadn’t noticed it before, but Nicole’s right hand looked properly mangled. Between the swelling and bruising, the gashes at her knuckles were an afterthought. 

“I don’t know why she said that Waverly, I swear. I never said anything like that to her, or anyone!” Nicole stood from the chair and started pacing the tiny room. “The only thing I ever said was there was someone I had feelings for, a new friend, and I wasn’t sure if it was mutual, or experimenting, or what. I never went into specifics, I never mentioned a name, and I certainly never implied I was sleeping with you.” The pacing was getting faster as she talked. “Hell, I explicitly told her I had no interest in getting you in bed! She kept pushing for me to get layed.”

Waverly may not have been around her sister in a very long time, but she knew Wynonna and her penchant for sticking her foot in her mouth. Everything she knew about Nicole told her that what she was saying was the truth, that she hadn’t known, that she hadn’t lied about them, that she was still the sweet, honest, and trustworthy person she had thought she was… but there was still doubt. She trusted too many people who betrayed her to just drop it.

“Nicole, I…” What was there even to say?

“Waves, I don’t expect you to take everything at face value. I know tonight has been… a lot.” She pulled her phone out of her jacket, the right sleeve of which had a smudge of blood running around the cuff. “I removed the password. Just open the texts please. You can read them.”

Nicole leaned forward, phone extended, but she felt wrong taking it. “I don’t want it, Nicole.”

“Please, Waverly.” She looked like she might cry again. “I need you to believe me. I’d never hurt you like that.” She leaned closer, phone now resting against her knee. “Just look at the messages.”

Reluctantly she accepted the phone and pressed the home button. Like Nicole said, no prompt for a passcode came up. She stared at the home screen uncertain for a moment, finger hovering over the text app. She couldn’t do it though. She locked the screen and pushed the phone back into the space between them silently.

Nicole’s trembling fingers reached out and took the phone back, looking absolutely devastated. “Nicole?” Their eyes met and Waverly just knew. “I believe you, okay. I don’t need to go through your stuff. I believe you.”

Nicole let out a sound halfway between a sob and a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Thank you, Waverly. I couldn’t just let the night go knowing you thought I had done that to you. It’s bad enough that…” It didn’t need to be said. Waverly got it just fine. “I can leave now if you want. I’m sure you want to be alone.”

She nodded in the dim light, trying to convince herself that that was indeed what she wanted. Nicole hovered close, hand wavering in her direction and then back. “Would it be okay if I gave you a hug first?”

“Yeah.” 

Nicole stood but remained in place just in front of her chair. Waverly watched an array of changes sweep across her features. The redhead made a move towards her but froze, almost as if she thought better of it. “I shouldn’t ask that of you right now. I’m sorry. You don’t owe me anything Waverly. I should go.” But again, she didn’t move. Waverly felt conflicted, half wanting Nicole to hurry up and leave so she could continue her breakdown in peace. The other half wanted those long arms wrapped around her protectively. She wanted the comfort she had grown reliant on. “I’m really, really sorry, Waverly. About Wynonna. You deserve so much better than that.”

Finally, Nicole started for the door, pausing once more with her hand outstretched towards it. “If you want to talk, I’m here. Anytime.” And with that, she left, carefully closing the door quietly behind her.

She had been mostly okay when Chrissy left, happy to have the privacy, but now… now she felt alone. Waverly flopped down in her bed, hot tears trickling out from the corners of her eyes, her vision swimming. Frustrated with the situation and almost more so by her confusing feelings, she rubbed the tears away aggressively, pushing into her eyes more than necessary, hoping the slight ache would clear her head.

She had flipped her bedside lamp on when the commotion started, but laying in the light just made her feel exposed. Deciding it was better in the dark, she reached over to turn the light back off, pausing when she spotted her phone. Remembering she had blocked Nicole, she swiped it off the table to unblock the girl.

It should have only taken a minute, but their old text conversation caught her attention. It had been from earlier in the day, Nicole taking time aside from her hectic schedule to check in with her, send her a couple silly gifs of floppy puppies with one particularly cute one that Nicole had insisted looked like Waverly in the mornings when she woke up.

In a rush, the bitterness and despair slipped away, just for a second, but it was long enough to give Waverly a breath. She flipped the lamp switch and rolled over, cradling her phone in her hands, scrolling through the old messages. The longer she looked, the more certain she was that Nicole really was innocent. Everything on her screen painted a picture of a woman who cared deeply about her, wanted her happiness, went out of her way to cheer her up when she was down, or just on occasion because she could. Waverly felt safe with her. That wasn’t nothing. It was so fucking far from it.

Her hand hovered over the phone icon, debating calling Nicole, asking her to come back. Asking her to crawl into her bed and hold her close. Asking her to lay her weight down on her like a blanket, keep her safe and tucked away from the world. Asking her to run her fingers through her hair. To hover above her in the dark as their eyes strained to meet each other. To kiss her for once not because of a dare or a bet or under the guise of necessity. But because that is what they wanted. The both of them. 

But she didn’t. Waverly had made enough decisions for a lifetime out of desire for comfort. Prime example choosing to stay with Champ because it was familiar and stable (at least in appearance). It had certainly been a process, but her feelings for Nicole weren’t platonic, and as Waverly was beginning to understand, very much not insignificant. Tonight had been a lot of things, but the right time to make that more was not one of them. 

So instead of calling the woman she was maybe, possibly, probably, falling in love with, she let herself wallow just a bit longer in solitude. Tomorrow she would reach out and reassure Nicole that things were good between them. And probably apologize for what she said while she was at it. And then she would start to fix the absolute shit show of a mess Wynonna had created.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly Earp: Hi

Nicole would be lying if she said she hadn’t been anxiously checking her phone every few minutes all through the night. By morning, she had grown too exhausted and frankly convinced it wouldn’t come, to keep checking for a text from Waverly. But here it was. Trying to keep her nerves at bay, she texted out a simple ‘hey’ in response.

Waverly Earp: I can’t make it to the library today.  
Waverly Earp: I’m sorry.

Her heart sunk. She had been so sure when she left Waverly’s dorm last night that the tiny girl had really believed her, but maybe that had been too hopeful. She tried not to read too much into it, but every worry was flooding up, surfacing at an alarming rate. She struggled to focus long enough to respond, but those three little dots appeared again. 

She forced herself to put the phone down, shaking her hands out while attempting to steady her breathing, the dull ache of her fresh injury pulling her attention from the anxiety. After a sleepless night, her emotions weren’t as in control as normal, and everything about this whole situation was threatening to send her over the edge.

Waverly Earp: Can you come over later though?

Well, that could either be good or bad. Maybe Waverly wanted to tell her they couldn’t be friends anymore face to face. She seemed like the type to have the integrity to do that instead of over text.

Waverly Earp: Around 5?

She glanced at the time on her phone, seeing it was only 11. Six hours. Six hours in which she would have to wait and worry. Six hours of her sitting alone in the library, trying to focus on the work she desperately needed to be doing. She had already been sitting down here since about 6, having forgone sleep. Had the past five hours been productive, not even close. Would the next five (plus one)? Probably not. 

Nicole Haught: Sure Waves. I’ll be there.

She set her phone back down on the desk, digging into her temples with her shaky fingers. Her phone buzzed again, alerting her to another text.

Waverly Earp: Thanks Nicole. See you soon.

Sure, there hadn’t been any sort of hostility, but Waverly’s texts were completely devoid of their usual cheerfulness (to be expected), and lacking in its usual warmth (okay, fair), but more so it felt completely unfamiliar, as if they weren’t close, were hardly friends, maybe acquaintances even (that part was terrifying). 

Every possible scenario flashed in front of her eyes. Waverly opening the door, hugging her tight, seeking comfort in her arms. Waverly changing her mind and refusing to open up at all. Waverly cold and unfeeling, telling her how they shouldn’t hang out anymore. Waverly cautious but still warm and receptive. Waverly pissed and accusatory. Waverly... She shut it down, dropping her head to the table with a resounding thud.

 

Six hours had been all around hell. Nicole had barely managed to make moderately acceptable progress on her school work. Was it going to be her best work, not even close. Was it better than nothing, meh. After the first five, she gave up, opting to wander through some of the running trails in the cold November air, hoping to shock herself out of her anxiety. It helped, but not much. Which is why when a quarter till rolled around, Nicole debated texting Waverly to say she couldn’t come after all. With how badly her stomach was turning, it wouldn’t be too far off from the truth to tell her she was feeling sick. But she couldn’t do it.

Instead, Nicole dutifully walked over to Waverly’s dorm and sat on the bench just outside, waiting for her friend (at least she hoped she was still her friend) to either come out or meet her to let her in. By five after she started to worry Waverly had backed out. By ten after she was just about certain. By the time a soft hand found a place on her shoulder, Nicole had started to suspect she should just leave.

“Hey, I’m so, so sorry I’m late. My tutoring session ran long.” Nicole looked up to find a sheepish and exhausted looking Waverly standing just beside her. 

She cleared her throat and rose to stand next to the other girl. “It’s okay. I understand.” Should she try to hug her? “I’m sure they appreciated it.”

Waverly smiled gently up at her. It took all her will not to sweep the girl into her arms. “Oh, I’m sure he did. He’s a good kid.”

“Kid?” 

“Yeah. I tutor outside of the school on the weekends sometimes.” She said as her hands started to squeeze at one another. “I had completely forgotten I booked this appointment until his mom texted me to ask if I’d be staying late enough to join them for dinner.”

“Oh. That’s cool.” She cringed internally, feeling completely awkward. Surely Waverly could see it.

They stood in the relative quiet for a minute until Waverly reached out, slipping her fingers through Nicole’s. “Um, do you want to come up?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was unsteady so she tried again. “Yes. That would be nice. I’m actually a little cold.”

Waverly took inventory of her attire and tutted disapprovingly. Nicole had left all her crap, jacket included, in her car before her walk. It had been a welcome physical distraction for her walk earlier, but now that she was sedentary, well, it was just fucking cold. Nicole shrugged in response, but offered up a quiet ‘I know’ at the look Waverly gave her.

“Come on, you. Let’s get you warm.” Waverly let go of her hand and dug her ID out of her pocket to swipe them into the building. Nicole followed her up remembering the night before when she had begged a random student leaving the building to let her in. She really hoped Waverly wasn’t mad about her impromptu visit. There wasn’t much she could do about it now, but that didn’t exactly help with her embarrassment.

Waverly opened the room for them, letting Nicole in first. The room was more disorganized than usual. Surprisingly, Chrissy’s side was still a little cleaner than normal, though not as nice as the other night. Waverly’s however was a wreck. Unsure where Waverly wanted her, she chose to stand awkwardly off to the side by Chrissy’s closet.

Waverly pulled her chair out of its home at her desk and sat down, looking up at Nicole with a completely blank expression. That rolling in her stomach returned and for a moment Nicole thought she might actually get sick.

“Don’t you want to sit down?” Waverly asked, gesturing to her bed. 

“Uh, sure.” Nicole picked a spot close to Waverly, but not too far into her personal space.

Waverly waited for her to get settled, watching patiently as she pulled her shoes off and set them aside. Once she was situated, cross legged at the edge of the bed, Waverly scooted her chair closer, directly in front of Nicole.

“Are we okay?” That certainly was just about the last thing Nicole expected to hear.

“Huh?” She almost didn’t register Waverly’s fingers threading through hers. “Are we okay? I should be asking you that.”

Waverly sighed heavily. “No. You did nothing wrong. My sister can be… difficult, sometimes. If you say that she was misrepresenting things, then I have no doubt that is exactly the case. She put you in a bad position Nicole.”

She unfolded her legs so she could scoot closer to the girl before her, placing them on either side of the chair. “I’m not the only one she put in a bad position.” 

“True, but I still feel horrible for talking to you the way I did.” Waverly looked up at her, eyes cloudy with tears. “I’m so sorry, Nicole. I should have given you a chance to talk to me before freaking out on you like that.”

This was about as far away from the conversation she thought she would be having. The last person who owed her an apology was Waverly. Wynonna, well she wouldn’t exactly turn that down, not that she thought she had much of a chance of getting one from the older Earp.

“I get it, Waves. You thought I had been lying to you… about you. I just hope you know I would never say anything like that, okay.” Waverly nodded but dropped her head. “And… and I know that we are just friends.”

It physically hurt to say it, but the last thing she needed was for Waverly to think that there might have been some truth to what Wynonna said, at least in regard to Nicole’s image of their relationship. The look Waverly gave her though, made her nervous. There was a flash of hurt just as she pulled her eyes back to meet her own, and then nothing. Just a blank stare.

“That is what you want, right?”


	10. Shared Solitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leave me by the moon  
> Left ready to bloom  
> I'm needing the water, I'm needing the water
> 
> \- The Water // RY X

“That is what you want, right?”

Waverly’s heart promptly stuffed itself high in her throat, cutting off her breathing, her reasoning, and her sense of reality. Of course, that was what she wanted, except it wasn’t at all. They had managed to sneak past the line straddling friendship and ~more~ so many times the line had been etched off the board entirely. Seemingly, both had no problem breaking the rules in subtle, and occasionally not so subtle, ways. Waverly had long known Nicole was attracted to her. Basically, since the night they met. What she was still in the dark about was if there were feelings behind that, or if Nicole was only interested in the physical. Waverly knew she wanted Nicole in every way. And that was terrifying. Logically, it was long overdue, this question about what they wanted from each other, but emotionally, Waverly was outright terrified to have it.

“I… I, um…” Her hands had started to shake and she couldn’t even hide it given they were still wrapped up in Nicole’s. “I like you, Nicole.” That was a start at least. “It’s just that…” Just that what? She wanted this, right? Like an actual relationship. She wanted to be WITH Nicole. So why was she struggling so hard to say it.

“It’s okay Waves.” Nicole gently squeezed her hands. She looked up to meet those gorgeous doe eyes only to find devastation staring back at her. “You’re straight, I get it. I don’t expect you to like me in that way.”

What? No, that isn’t what she was trying to say. Hell, she wasn’t even sure what she was trying to say but it sure as shit wasn’t that. “I’m not.” She stood from the chair, dropping Nicole’s hands so she could push it back into place at her desk. “I’m not straight. At least not entirely.”

“Oh.”

“When I said I like you, I meant it. I have feelings for you.” She stopped her pacing to face Nicole, hoping to find something other than that heartbreaking expression still on her features.

A hesitant smile formed on her lips and Waverly felt her resolve start to crack. “I like you too.” Another crack. God, she just wanted to kiss her. 

“I just don’t think I am ready to jump into something else right now.” She whispered, almost hoping Nicole wouldn’t hear. “Between just breaking up with Champ, and Wynonna showing up… I need to figure all this shit out.”

The smile was gone, but she also didn’t look like someone had kicked her puppy, so Waverly took it as a win. Nicole slowly got up from her spot and walked over to Waverly, wrapping her up tightly in her arms. “I understand.” The words floated off her lips and into her hair, Nicole’s breath tickling her neck. 

Her heart started to retreat back to its home and the smallest bit of relief drifted through her. “Thank you.”

They stood in the center of the messy room in silence, holding tightly onto each other for a while. Waverly didn’t think she would ever be ready to let go, but Nicole’s grip loosened and she took the hint and dropped her arms. 

“I suppose I should head out then?” 

With Chrissy gone tonight, Waverly had hoped Nicole would stay, but that was probably too much to ask. “Oh, um, okay. Can you give Wynonna my number? I don’t have hers and it’s probably best that we make a plan to meet up soon.”

“Um, I can just share the contact with you now?” Nicole said, confusion apparent on her face. “I wasn’t really planning on talking to her for a while. I’m pretty pissed off.”

“Oh, I just assumed you were staying there.” She pulled her own phone out waiting on the text with the contact info to come through.

“Huh? No. After last night, I only went back long enough to get my stuff and talk to Dolls.” The ping came through and Waverly busied herself with setting up the new contact.

“So you are back in your room then?”

“Not yet.”

That was even more confusing. “Oh. Would it be weird for me to ask who you’ve been staying with then?” Silence drifted in and Waverly glanced up to find Nicole looking anywhere but at her. “Nicole?”

“I, uh, I’m not staying anywhere.”

“I don’t understand. Where did you sleep last night?”

She still wouldn’t look at her. “I didn’t.”

“What?” Waverly tossed her phone on her bed so she could take Nicole by her shoulders and force her to meet her eyes. “Nicole, where were you all night? After you left here?”

“I uh, I sat in the dorm lounge until the library opened and then went there.” Waverly didn’t even know how to respond. “I kinda just planned on doing the same thing tonight. I’m supposed to be back in my room tomorrow night anyways so it’s not a big deal.”

“Nope.” Nicole looked at her bewildered. “No way in hell am I letting you do that two nights in a row. You’re staying here tonight, like we originally planned.” Nicole opened her mouth to argue but Waverly wasn’t having it. “This isn’t up for debate, Nicole. You ARE staying here, got it?”

“Chrissy seemed pretty mad at me. I’m not so sure she would appreciate having me over tonight.”

Well fuck. She didn’t realize Chrissy had reached out to her, though she shouldn’t be all that surprised. “We talked late last night, after you left. She knows you are innocent. And besides, she won’t be here tonight. She is staying off campus with her boyfriend.”

“Oh. Um, okay...” Waverly realized she still had Nicole’s shoulders in her grip and let go, sliding her palms down the long arms stopping only to squeeze at her soft hands. “Are you sure Waverly? Because I could probably find someone else to stay with.”

“I’m sure.”

Nicole nodded to herself, finally accepting the arrangement. “I guess I should go grab my stuff from my car then.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

It had been awkward at first, even with the confessions and apologies behind them. Nicole felt so out of place. She knew Waverly had only offered for her to stay out of pity. The girl was far too kind to let her go two nights without a bed. She should have just lied and saved Waverly from her presence and herself from the guilt. But after an hour of nervous shuffling and dead conversation, something finally shifted between them.

Both women, having forgone their usual weekend schedule, had worked hard to make up for lost time, but work remained. Which is what finally led Nicole to put her cell phone away and pull her criminal law text out. At least it gave them an excuse for the silence. Waverly either caught on or had an overwhelming need to work herself, seeing as she followed Nicole’s lead and started digging through her out of character mess to pull her own school work out. 

Maybe a bit of time distracted from their uneasiness helped, functioning as a reset, or perhaps they finally just grew too emotionally exhausted to notice any lingering awkwardness. Either way, Nicole found herself feeling just a bit more comfortable, enough to convince her not to fake an emergency and leave. The slight decrease in discomfort slipped into neutrality when Waverly put on some quiet study music, lifting the mood by a hair. Neutrality drifted away, replaced with moderate content as Waverly asked to borrow Nicole’s highlighters, the same one she herself was already using, forcing the two of them to share Waverly’s bed. After another hour in each other’s space, existing in tandem, Waverly closed her book and set her head down on Nicole’s knee. It happened without a word, but the gesture spoke volumes.

Nicole decided she really did need to finish at least the short paper she had been working on, choosing to keep her spot, laptop balanced precariously on one knee, supported by one of Waverly’s rolled up blankets, while her other knee remained occupied by the beautiful woman half asleep (and possibly drooling). Half an hour elapsed before her task was completed and she carefully set the laptop down on the bedside table. Waverly had been properly asleep for at least ten minutes and Nicole didn’t have the heart to wake her, but it proved too difficult not to reach out at touch those gorgeous long locks.

“Mmm, what time is it?” Waverly whispered, stirring. Nicole’s heart melted. Had any unease lingered, it would have been unceremoniously shoved out of the window at the sight of the woman she loved… whoa, okay, well that was a thought for another time… the woman she cared for deeply, sleepily wiping the smallest bit of drool away from her mouth.

“Hey you.” Nicole cooed, keeping her fingers threaded through Waverly’s hair. “It’s not that late, I don’t think you’ve been asleep long.”

“Then why am I so hungry?” Waverly’s speech was just the teensiest bit slurred. Nicole couldn’t help the light laugh that slipped out. She was just too adorable.

“How about we order something, delivery maybe?” She suggested, taking the opportunity to stretch her legs out straight.

Waverly replaced her head, now just a bit higher on Nicole’s thigh. She watched as the brunette considered her options, staring up at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded. “What would you say to Indian?”

“Oh, I think I could manage with that.”

Nicole’s phone was still in its previous spot at Waverly’s desk, and in their new positions, she couldn’t quite reach her laptop to pull up a menu. Had she not been so desperate to keep their contact, she would have slipped her leg free and gotten up for either of her two devices. But she was selfish, so she stayed put. 

A couple minutes passed, then five, then ten, and Nicole started to suspect Waverly had fallen back asleep until she felt cool fingertips start tracing out unknown patterns on her shin. Electricity buzzed through her, short circuiting her mind and shocking her senses. Now that she knew Waverly had honest to god feelings for her, these little touches carried a completely different weight. 

She was just beginning to settle into the feeling when Waverly rolled off her and sat up, stretching her tiny limbs for the phone that had somehow taken up residence at the end of the bed. 

Waverly browsed first and then pushed the phone into Nicole’s hand to choose and then call in the order, seeing as Nicole was slightly less terrified of placing phone calls. She accepted her duty and completed the order, paying by her card over the phone, despite Waverly’s indignant glares.

With the order placed, and the food on the way, they opted to curl up side by side in bed to watch a new Netflix series together as they waited. Nicole tried really fucking hard, like really really motherfucking hard, to concentrate on the show, but the only thing she would have been able to recall is the following: 1) someone died, 2) it was probably a murder, 3) she honestly didn’t care. What she did know was that Waverly Earp was nestled into her side, arm draped around her waist, fingers teasing the strip of exposed skin between her jeans and t-shirt, and her breathing had become an Olympic event with how much effort she was putting into it.

By the time her phone chirped out the message letting her know their food had arrived, she was itching for some relief and gladly insisted on being the one to go pick it up. Stepping out into the cold air gave her a bit of clarity, but as easily as it came, so too did the anxiety of what the rest of the night held. She dashed back to the door, thankful no one had removed her makeshift doorstop and stepped into the room to find Waverly returning to bed from changing into a baggy t-shirt and athletic shorts.

Nicole put the food down on Waverly’s desk and started pulling various boxed items out of the bag. Waverly quickly changed course and came over to help, shooing Nicole away so she could make them plates.

“Don’t you want to change before we start eating?” Waverly asked, dishing more rice onto her plate.

“Oh, um, I don’t know.” Nicole kicked at her duffle bag as if it would offer its input. Waverly turned, giving her a questioning look. “No, you’re right. I’ll go change quickly.” She dug through her bag and found a pair of shorts and an old soccer jersey from freshman year.

She got as far of as the door before Waverly called out. “Wait, where are you going? I thought we were going to watch this?”

She looked at her in confusion. Hadn’t she been the one to suggest she change? Instead of responding, she just held her pajamas up a bit for Waverly to see.

“You don’t have to leave. I mean not unless you want to that is.” Waverly placed one plate on the bedside table and climbed into bed with the other clutched in her free hand.

“Oh.” She assumed it would be awkward given the recent developments. It would likely be in both their best interests for her to go elsewhere to change, but she didn’t want to make a whole thing out of it either. They were supposed to be friends, right? “Right.” The answer was as much to herself as Waverly.

She walked over to the brunette’s desk and dropped the pajamas in the chair. Her eyes darted over to Waverly, who was sitting in bed, eyes affixed to her plate, pushing the food around in a (hazardous) attempt to combine it without spilling. Figuring Waverly was probably trying to give her some privacy she stripped her shirt off, turning her back to the occupied bed just slightly to remove her bra. Both items found a home draped across the back of the chair as she quickly stuffed the jersey over her head.

Her fingers dropped to her belt, but she found herself nervously glancing over at Waverly again. She still was preoccupied, although this time with something on her phone. Instead of turning her back, she quickly removed her jeans as she was and stepped into the shorts. Now fully clothed again, she felt the slight edge wear off her nervousness and noted that Waverly’s distractions seemed to have coincidently disappeared. She stuffed her day clothes into the duffle and picked up her plate to join Waverly in bed.

The show was even harder to follow now that she was trying. After missing so much of the initial set-up, she was beyond lost. Waverly, however, was enraptured. With plates aside and leftovers in the mini-fridge, they had easily fallen back into their cozy snuggles. Nicole tried her best to follow, but after two episodes and even more complicated plot developments, she completely gave up and set her focus on thoughts of her and Waverly.

 

“Nicole… hey, sleepyhead. Nicole?” She had been in the woods again, except this time they didn’t feel ominous. Waverly had been there and if she was remembering correctly, there had been a deer. Something about it talking to them. “You awake?”

Her eyes opened and it took a moment for her to come to. She must have fallen asleep while they watched that baffling show. Oops. Guess that’s what happens when you get next to no sleep all weekend. 

The fog in her eyes cleared and she took a quick inventory. She was in fact still in Waverly’s room, in her bed, but it was dark. She must have turned the light off. Also, the laptop wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The tiny woman who had been at her side (what felt like) a minute ago was now standing beside the bed holding her toothbrush and toothpaste in one hand.

“I’m going to go get ready for bed. I didn’t know if you wanted me to wake you in case you needed to do anything.” Nicole yawned and sat up slowly, scratching at her ribs. She should definitely get up. One, because she didn’t want to be breathing garlic naan breath at Waverly all night, and two because she really had to pee.

“I’m coming.” She creaked out, flopping onto her feet to dig for her toiletries. 

They walked in sleepy silence to the bathroom and completed their bedtime routines much the same way. Thanks to the harsh fluorescents in the hallways and bathroom, Nicole was much more awake by the time they returned to the dark sanctuary of Waverly’s room. 

Both women replaced their things and climbed into bed together.

“You must be exhausted.” Waverly’s arm slipped into its home around her waist. Why did it feel so good to have her close?

“It’s not too bad.” Her lie was made obvious thanks to the ill-timed yawn that fell out. “Okay, so maybe I might be just the teensiest bit sleepy.”

Waverly snorted into her collarbone. “You think?” Those familiar patterns were being traced out again against her hip. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

No. She wanted to pull Waverly on top of her. Or even better, to roll them over so she could press her weight down strategically into the smaller woman. She wanted to press their lips together and feel those perfectly manicured nails skate down her back. “Yeah, that is probably for the best.” Traitor.

Waverly lifted up on an elbow and looked down at her in the dark. “I guess this is goodnight then.”

“I guess it is.” 

They were frozen in place, staring at one another, neither moving the slightest bit to the extent Nicole started to wonder if she was breathing anymore.

“Nicole…” Waverly’s eyes drifted down to her lips. “I…”

She felt her shoulder rise off the bed just a bit, just enough to close a fraction of the distance. “Yes?”

Waverly closed even more, hovering inches above her. Her eyes were locked on to her lips and Nicole somehow knew she was looking at her lip ring. Unable to resist, her tongue swept out over her bottom lip, pausing just barely at the piercing. 

She saw the change in breathing and knew she had hit home. “Yes Waves…”

“Fuck it.” Waverly whispered into the air between them as her eyes finally came back up to meet Nicole’s. 

She wasn’t sure who finally displaced what little distance had been left between them, all she could sense was Waverly’s hands, one tangling into the hair at the base of her neck, the other flush against her cheek, and her lips, god her lips. They felt so fucking good. Nicole’s primal desires took over and she found herself doing exactly what she had wanted, flipping their positions, locking Waverly in place beneath her. 

She shifted again, bringing her body flush with the woman under her, one hand steadying her balance as the other gripped her upper thigh, pulling it up to make room for her hips. Her skin burned where her thigh pressed into the space between Waverly’s. All she could think of was how badly she wanted to feel this without those damn shorts between them.

Waverly’s grip tightened, pulling at her hair in a way that made her see stars. Their lips separated as the both struggled to breathe. Nicole made peace with the loss and focused on the slight rock of Waverly’s hips against her leg. 

Suddenly she was pushed upright, Waverly’s lips chasing after hers as those delicate hands fell from her hair to the hem of her shirt, tugging up the moment they struck home. Instinctually, Nicole let go, raising her hands above her head to allow Waverly to remove her jersey unhindered. The sound of the material hitting the floor was completely obstructed by the groan that fell from her lips at the feeling of Waverly’s hands sliding forcefully up her torso.

With a flash she came to her senses and pulled out of reach. “Wait.” Her breathing was so labored she could hardly get the word out. “Waverly, wait.”

Waverly pulled back, staring into the darkness at her, concern etched firmly into every corner. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

Nicole leaned back to rest on her heels. “No, no, I promise. You didn’t hurt me.” She took another deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to calm herself. “Everything is okay.”

“I don’t understand.” Waverly sounded scared and it broke her.

“You did nothing wrong. I just…” Another breath. “I just need to stop.”

“Oh.” It was so quiet. Her eyes had adjusted but she still couldn’t quite be sure that Waverly wasn’t upset. “I’m sorry, Nicole.”

“Hey,” she whispered, taking both of Waverly’s hands in hers, “it’s okay. No sorry needed.” She resettled, sitting cross legged. “Come here.”

Waverly hesitated but ultimately accepted and curled up on her lap, letting Nicole rub at her back soothingly. “I promise, you didn’t do anything wrong. It just seemed like it was going in a certain direction and I don’t think it is a good idea to let those kinds of things happen, you know?”

“You mean sex.”

“Yes.” Waverly stiffened in her arms and Nicole had a fleeting panic that she had gotten this all wrong. That Waverly had no intention of sleeping with her, and her mentioning an assumption that ridiculous was enough to upset her. It probably wouldn’t help that she still had nothing on her top half.

“I understand.” Waverly clung on tighter. “I didn’t think about how that wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Relief washed in quickly followed by the realization that she had assumed correctly. Which of course did many things to her, none of which helped the situation. The situation of course being how incredibly turned on she was. 

“I try not to make a habit of sleeping with people I’m not in a relationship with.” She offered, hoping the explanation would do away with any possible hurt feelings. “Since you aren’t interested in a relationship, that kinda takes sex off the table for me.”

Waverly pulled back, just enough to look her in the eyes. “I never said I didn’t want a relationship.” The softness of her words made it that much harder not to throw her own rule out the window. “Because I do, Nicole. I want you, to be with you. I just need to sort through some things first.” Oh. “You don’t have to wait for me, but…”

“I will.” Her voice was shaking and her hands were slipping but she didn’t even notice. “I’ll wait.”

Waverly crashed into her, lips seeking hers out in a fever. Blind with need, Nicole leaned back until Waverly’s weight was draped over her, limbs tangled together. 

“Wait, wait, Nicole.” She froze, letting go of Waverly’s ass in a rush. “No sex, remember.”

Right. Her stupid, fucking, ridiculous rule, that honestly could go right to hell and never return. She groaned and flopped her forearm over her eyes, wishing like hell she hadn’t said anything. But of course, she had, and she knew she shouldn’t break it, no matter how much she wanted Waverly right now.

“I’m sorry.” She offered with another groan. “I’m really, really, sorry.”

Waverly giggled and pulled her up, depositing her shirt in her lap. “I know. Me too. But we should probably go to sleep anyways.”

“Right, sleep.” Like she’d be able to fall asleep after that. “Fucking sleep.”

As it turns out, when you are as exhausted as she was, it wasn’t that hard after all.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole had been out in an instant, but Waverly had suffered through the night, thoughts boomeranging between the stolen moments with Nicole in the dark, and the anxiety of confronting Wynonna. On one hand, this weekend had been everything she could have hoped for. Her sister was home, and safe. Nicole was sleeping adorably at her side, newly confessed feelings and desires floating in the background. But of course, this weekend had also been horrible. Her sister was home, and didn’t even bother to tell her. She had either forgotten her entirely or not given enough shits to reach out and sooth her worry and heartache. And if that wasn’t insulting enough, she could also throw in the fact that Wynonna almost devastated her relationship with Nicole.

There was nothing to be done about any of that now though. She and Nicole were fine, hell, they were great. Wynonna’s bullshit hadn’t done any lasting damage and if anything had only prompted them to finally unburden themselves of their mutual pining. There was of course the lingering question of what Waverly was to do about Wynonna. She had been so desperate for years to just get her back and now here she was and she couldn’t let herself be happy about it. At least not without being tainted by her sister’s betrayal. 

Nicole had dutifully shared her contact. The correct one, not the long ago discarded Greek number Waverly had clung to hopefully for years. Just having a number she knew Wynonna had access to, something tangible, was enough to give her enough relief to focus on her anger. Part of her wanted to change her mind and demand Nicole take her to the house so she could confront her in person. But, she knew if she wanted any sort of productive conversation she needed to let herself cool down first. For now, she would just settle for texting Wynonna in the morning to make arrangements to meet in a few days. Maybe she could even ask Nicole to come with her as emotional support. She imagined Nicole had a right to her own statements anyways. Wynonna had really stepped in it this time.

 

It felt far too early when her eyes peeled open in the far too bright early morning rays. By her count, Nicole had already snoozed her alarm three times, which meant she was running out of time to ignore the day in favor of hiding away in the warmth of her mountain of blankets. 

“Sweetie, Waves?” She hadn’t even realized her eyes had closed again, but obviously, Nicole had. “I think we should probably get up now.”

“Can’t you just turn it off?” She asked, flipping herself away from the wall to bury her head in Nicole’s warmth.

“Uh… turn what off? The alarm?” Long arms snaked under the covers to wrap around her torso, pulling her practically on top of the taller woman. “It’s already off.”

“No, the sun. ‘s too bright.” Accepting the proffered comfort of the redhead’s body, she scooted up just enough to properly settle on top of and between Nicole’s legs. 

She felt the chuckle more than heard it. “No can do.” Nicole adjusted, spreading her legs just a hair so they locked into place just right. “I can, however, offer some prime morning cuddles if you’d be interested. We probably have another ten minutes or so before we risk being late for our morning classes.”

“Fine. I’ll accept.” Waverly smiled to herself. Honestly, the sun could blind her if it meant she got to stay nestled in bed with Nicole just a moment or two longer.

“I figured you might.”

Between the warmth and comfort, Waverly had to actively try to stay awake, not wanting to sleep through the little bit of privacy she had left with her. Tonight, Nicole would be back in her shared dorm room with Shae, leaving them without convenient excuses for sleeping together. She knew she could trust her, but the thought of Nicole and Shae alone every night unsettled her. Champ had never made her jealous, but she felt so fiercely protective of Nicole. It wasn’t as if they were together, not that she could complain about that given it was her decision. But still, she wanted to be the one the brown eyed beauty came home to every day.

“Waves?” The whisper caught her off guard, reminding her where she was.

She pulled her head up enough to catch her eyes. “Yeah?”

“We only have about five minutes left.” 

“I know.”

Nicole swallowed, looking suddenly nervous. “Do you think, um, do you think maybe we should make use of that time doing, uh … something else?” Huh? What exactly did that mean? What did she want to do with five minutes? Learn a new language? How to bake sourdough breads? And then her eyes darted down to Waverly’s lips and she caught on. 

“Oh.” They were already pressed together in ways that made it hard to think coherently. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Nicole’s arms slipped down until her hands were at her waist. Waverly relished the feel of those long fingers digging into her flesh slightly as Nicole pulled her up just enough for their lips to connect. It felt so clear, untainted by excuses or shrouded in the dark of night. No, this was more. It was pure in what is was, want. Because she wanted Nicole, she wanted those lips to stay slipping against hers, she wanted those hands to pull her against the body under hers, and she wanted to experience this moment fully exposed to what it was and what it meant.

Teeth caught her lip and dragged just lightly enough to know they were there, leaving her wanting something a tiny bit more. Nicole’s head fell back towards the pillow leaving Waverly to chase her lips and teeth up the bed, forcing her body to press even harder into the other. Nicole’s throat exposed itself to her as the redhead struggled to breathe with all of Waverly’s newfound pressure not so delicately focused between her legs.

Unable to resist how good it felt to watch Nicole fight against her desires, Waverly pushed up again. Nicole breathed in sharply as her fingernails dug little crescents into her hips, begging her to press even harder. Waverly’s heartbeat was incessant. She could feel herself losing control, and she so desperately wanted to let that happen, to just demand Nicole give in and have her way with her. But she forced the thought down as she pulled her weight just barely away. 

“Don’t.” Nicole’s voice pulled her back in, forcing her to lock on to those soft doe eyes looking up at her pleadingly. “Don’t, please.” She begged, hands pulling gently at Waverly’s hips, asking her to come back down.

Her breath was shaking and her heart was running wild, but the rest of her body heard the request and answered. She shifted back down, more deliberately this time, intentional in her movements. 

Nicole’s eyes rolled slightly at the contact. “Oh, fuck.” She whispered it into the air between them but Waverly felt it hit somewhere very specific. “Don’t stop, please.”

She pushed forward again, finding Nicole’s legs spread easily for her. Any illusion that what they were doing was unintentional had run off the moment Nicole spoke out. With nothing left keeping her from holding back, Waverly let herself give in too. She adjusted her arms to help keep herself stable as she slid one leg over Nicole’s and quickly pressed back in, thigh seeking out the heat between her friend’s legs. Nicole got the hint and bent the leg between Waverly’s up enough to find her warm and wanting.

One hand slide softly up from her hip, pushing her t-shirt up as it went, fingers digging into the flesh of her upper back. Waverly dropped her head, burying her face in Nicole’s neck, letting her heavy breath fall out against her pulse. With this proximity, she could hear the faint moan fall from her partner’s lips with each rock up, yet she was completely unaware that she was doing the same.

Without any forewarning, Nicole flipped them, and quickly resettled her body in the space Waverly’s left for her. With a crash, their lips collided, each suddenly desperate for the additional connection. Waverly let her hips roll more forcefully up, hoping Nicole would get the hint and answer with her own, which she did. The increased pressure pulled a gasp from her, prying their lips apart.

With acknowledgment her actions were welcomed, Nicole doubled her efforts, driving Waverly to the edge, which is ultimately what lifted the fog enough for her to realize how far they had taken things.

“Wait. Nicole, wait.” She managed to rasp out, stilling her partner’s moments immediately, even as her own hips rocked forward again sending another wave of pleasure through her body. “Oh, fuck.”

“Shit, I’m sorry Waves.” Nicole offered between panting breaths as she lifted herself a hair off Waverly. “I got carried away.”

“I did too.” She had been far too close not to stop. Knowing that Nicole had drawn a line in the sand, it wouldn’t have been right to let herself keep going. “I’m so sorry.”

Nicole rolled off her, stuffing her body in the tiny space between her and the wall. “Don’t be. I asked you not to stop. I should have had more control.” A still shaking hand reached up to lightly rest against her cheek. “I’m sorry I put us in this position.”

Waverly giggled. “Yeah, I quite liked the other one more.” 

Nicole rolled her eyes at the joke but her brilliant smile gave her away. “Yeah?” Waverly smiled back at her and nodded. “I think it would be a little redundant to say I did too.”

“Can I be honest with you about something?” She asked, scooting back a bit and rolling on her side to leave more room for Nicole.

“Always, Waves.” The taller girl slid over into the newly vacated space, taking one of Waverly’s hands in her own.

“The reason I finally stopped…”, she took a breath and met Nicole’s eyes. “You made it clear to me last night that you don’t want to have sex outside of a relationship. I was really close to breaking that.”

“I think it was safe to say we both took things farther than intended.” Those soft fingers were rubbing comforting circles against her knuckles.

“Maybe I should be a little clearer. I was really close to breaking that because I was just close.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”


	11. No Text, No Time, Nothing To See Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best  
> This mess we tried our best  
> For something we can do
> 
> \- Fader // The Temper Trap

For the third time in as many days, Waverly broke down in pure frustration. What do you say to the sister that outright abandoned you, lied by omission, and didn’t even have the heart to look upset (well, okay, she did look upset, but not upset enough). Every time she started tapping out a message, she found herself quickly deleting it. How do you convey such a hot steaming mess of emotion in a damn text? If you’re Waverly, then you don’t. You just sit and stare at the blank message screen, wishing you suddenly knew how to confront your problems. But because Waverly is in fact, Waverly, she sat and stared. And stared. And stared. 

Since clearing the air, she and Nicole had taken to spending nearly all their time together. Sure, they weren’t actually together, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t take comfort in each other in the interim. She suspected Nicole needed a safe space to run to now that she was back to her old room, and thus, back living with Shae. They hadn’t discussed it beyond Nicole acknowledging the change. She would be lying if she didn’t admit, at least to herself, that she worried. Worried about Nicole taking the full force of Shae’s frustrations. Worried about Nicole blaming herself for any unresolved problems. Worried about lingering feelings stirring up over nights shared in a small space. 

Whether her suspicions about Nicole were correct or not, Waverly knew she needed the redhead. The hollow left in her heart by Wynonna, while not entirely repairable, was at least patched over by the other woman’s soft ways. She would willingly lay down more than a few dollars that were it not for that steady calming presence, the amount of time she spent staring at that empty text conversation would slip quickly from worrying to obsessive. Which was exactly why Waverly wished she had Nicole here now.

Her hand moved to set the phone down, likely for only a short time, but stalled when she felt the telltale vibration of a text alert.

Nicole: Hey Waves, you awake?

She glanced at the time at the top of screen, noting how late it had gotten. Again. She desperately needed a good night’s sleep, but, it wasn’t always that easy to shut your brain off. Logically she should take this a sign to actually go to bed, salvaging the five hours left of sleep possible. 

Waverly: Yeah, I’m still up. You okay?

Ooops.

Nicole: Is Chrissy still awake?

Waverly: No, she has been out for a couple hours now. You should hear the snores.

Nicole: Oh, okay, well nvm. I’ll talk to you in the morning if you still want to meet and grab a coffee?

Waverly glanced back over at Chrissy’s sleeping form. Why did Nicole need to ask her if she was asleep? If she wanted to talk to her, she had her number. 

Waverly: You okay?

Nicole: Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice is all. Don’t want to call if she is already asleep.

She nuzzled down further in bed, scooting well into the warmth of her blanket pile with a splitting grin. It usually was instantaneous like this, the butterflies. And yet, it never failed to surprise her.

Waverly: You can’t say something like that to me and expect me to just go to sleep.

Nicole: Oh. Sorry? Should I stop saying those things then?

Waverly: Nicole Haught, you had better not stop. 

Nicole: Well if you insist.  
Nicole: I suppose I should tell you that hearing your voice isn’t the only thing I want then…

Well, shit. That left a lot of doors open and Waverly’s mind promptly tripped right through one in particular.

Waverly: Nicole…

Nicole: Yes?

Waverly: Meet me outside in 10.

Nicole: You sure?

Waverly: I’m so sure.

It was unbearably cold, despite the hoodie and heavy jacket she had thrown on in a rush. Her fingers felt like brittle shards of ice. She peered into the dark, searching for any sign of that gorgeous fiery hair. Finally, in the faint light off to the right, she spotted her, jogging across the grass, clouds of vapor puffing out, reminding her of the ungodly temperature.

Figuring she had ran all the way here, Waverly took pity and started in to meet her in the middle. Nicole slowed to a walk, leaving her time to appreciate the taller girl’s beauty from a far, taking in the red in her cheeks from the cold. Waverly couldn’t help but smile at the way Nicole’s heavy breathing affected the laugh she let out at the sight of her scurrying like a field mouse through the chill.

When they finally met in the middle of the grass, neither bothered to break the silence. Instead, Waverly watched as Nicole’s head tilted down, almost hiding her brilliant dimples and extraordinary smile. She tended to that, and it never failed to make Waverly blush.

“Any reason in particular you brought your bag? Please tell me we aren’t here to do homework.” Waverly squeaked into the night with a mighty shiver.

Nicole’s adorable head dip returned with her chuckle. “No. Although, I probably should be in my room working on something. It’s not too late for me to go grab it if you really want.”

“Oh, no. You did not pull me out of a warm bed to watch you think over some homework in the dark.” She replied, lightly swatting at the taller girl’s arm. “It’s bad enough you have me standing out here in the cold.”

“Now that you mention that…” She trailed off while dropping her bag into the grass, making quick work of the zippers. Waverly couldn’t see what she was pulling out from the angle she was standing at, but it looked massive, whatever it was. “Almost got it.”

“What exactly is it?”

Nicole stood back to full height, brandishing a very warm looking throw blanket, one Waverly recognized from her bed. Not that she had even seen it before, at least not in person. No, this she knew from a certain picture the redhead had sent her two nights ago. 

They had been texting back and forth throughout the evening, having decided to try and catch up on sleep instead of meeting for their nightly get together. The plan backfired tremendously though, as neither had felt satisfied enough with texting alone, and thus continued on well into the early morning hours until finally Nicole fell asleep with her phone in her hand. Waverly had been both relieved and disappointed when she realized Nicole had fallen asleep. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to end their conversation otherwise, but the moment she plugged her phone in to charge she had missed her.

She lasted all of ten minutes before she caved and brought her phone back up, backlight blinding her in the darkness of her and Chrissy’s room. It was all worth it though to look at that picture one last time. On a whim, Waverly had sent Nicole a selfie from bed. It was a little silly, and with the lack of light source, extremely dim, but nonetheless Nicole had gushed over it. Enough to send one of her own. 

The picture was innocent enough, Nicole sprawled out on top of her bedding, looking exhausted but beyond stunning even still. She had held her phone up above her, and with those never ending arms, Waverly had a great view from the red of her hair, to the pale white of her exposed thighs. Because Nicole wasn’t wearing pants. No, she had clearly made a ChoiceTM when selecting her pajamas that night, opting for an extra-long and baggy t-shirt that extending just far enough to cover her.

“Waves?” The memory dissipated into the frigid night air.

“Sorry, lost in thought.” She admitted with a hidden smirk, knowing Nicole wouldn’t let it go if she admitted to what exactly had her so up in her head.

Nicole laughed quietly again, almost as if she knew. “Well, I thought you might be cold, so I figured I’d bring us a little warmth.”

Waverly gladly accepted one end of the blanket, quickly wrapping it around her shoulder and burying her other side into Nicole’s open arm. It wasn’t as warm as her bed would be, but it certainly was a lot hotter.

“Care to join me for a walk?” 

“Mmm, okay.” She breathed out, watching her breath cloud in front of them and finally feeling none of the chill. “As long as you promise to keep me this warm.”

“Oh, I think I can manage that.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

It was really, really, really late. Like unforgivably late. She was so tired. She wanted to sleep. She wanted the dew on the grass to stop soaking into the hem of her sweatpants. But Waverly Earp had fused her tiny body to her side and they were laying out under the stars wrapped in a blanket and she just never wanted to leave. So, she set an internal alarm and decided to make the most of those remaining fifteen minutes.

The tips of her fingers on her right hand had gone numb from gently rubbing tiny circles into Waverly’s shoulder and her arm was starting to fall asleep from her smaller girl’s weight, but despite all that, she still felt electricity set her nerves alight at the soft brush of lips against the palm of her hand. She had only tried to extract her arm, just enough to prop herself up, but Waverly had taken the chance to gift her the smallest kiss and skin from the pads of her fingers to elbow had lit up.

“Do we need to go?” Her voice was sleepy and Nicole knew there had been at least a few minutes in there where Waverly had started to lightly snore.

“Soon.”

“Is it bad that I’d rather stay here for the rest of the night?”

Yes. “No.” Liar. “I don’t want to get up either. But if we don’t leave soon, neither of us will get any sleep tonight.” 

“I know.” The words got lost in her shoulder but she could tell. 

“Five more minutes, then we leave. Okay?” She felt a nod and took that as confirmation. Able to finally slip her am out enough, Nicole leaned up on her elbow, looking down and the half-lidded eyes beneath her. If she could stay there forever, she just might, but reality called. It ticked at her in the background reminding her that while they whiled away the nights, their responsibilities would only pile up more.

Waverly blinked slowly, eyes barely opening back up. It was clear she was fighting hard not to fall asleep. Nicole felt herself drooping and decided to call it.

“Come on sleepy head. Let’s get you back in bed, huh?” She sat up, taking both of Waverly’s hands in hers to help her off the ground.

“Mmm, you wish.” It was barely a mumble but it made its mark anyways. She really tried to bite her tongue but Waverly didn’t appear to want to let her have that. “I don’t suppose you want to come to bed with me?”

“Waves…” It was a plea. Because of course she wanted to take her to bed. No specification needed, she’d take any form of that offer. But of course she shouldn’t. “It is really late.”

“Which is exactly why you should come back with me.” Waverly stated as if it explained everything.

Nicole let her side of the blanket fall to Waverly’s side as she nabbed her bag off the damp grass. She could see the pout on the brunette’s lips at the sudden loss of contact and body heat. “If I say yes will you stop looking like someone stole your ice cream cone?”

A freezing cold hand reached out to wrap around hers, sending a shot of ice through her spine. “And if you promise not to put your hands on my back to warm them up again.” It was important she tacked that last bit on.

“Deal.”

Even in sleep deprivation, Waverly made every effort to keep their entrance silent, taking her time to close the door as slow as humanly possible. Nicole’s heart hitch itself just a rung higher at the sight. She loved how sweet and considerate Waverly was. It was one of her favorite things about the girl, of which there were many.

Taking her que, she slipped her shoes off and set them down by the door before removing her hoodie to drape over Waverly’s desk chair. She considered removing her sweats knowing how warm she would get in her sleep with the pyramid of blankets she’d wind up under, but figured it best to leave them on.

Waverly had already slipped under the covers within the first 20 seconds of them returning, leaving Nicole to follow her in. Her head hadn’t even hit the pillow before Waverly had all but crawled up on top of her shivering. She bit her bottom lip and sucked it in, partially from her attempt not to giggle at how ridiculous it was for her to be so cold still, and partially to keep herself from groaning out at the sudden loss of air in her lungs thanks to Waverly’s less than careful mounting. 

In the back of her mind was the constant ding reminding her that they hadn’t spent the night together since their mutual confession. Things had gotten heated, out of hand really, that next morning and Nicole had tried to rein it in, to keep them on track, to prevent any sort of slip. So far, they had mostly managed to keep things appropriate. It would take an idiot to think they weren’t straying beyond platonic, but physically they had been better. No intense make outs, no “almosts”, no removal of clothes. Emotionally, well, that was another story.

She thought back, running through their interactions since that morning, trying to account for their subtle touches and lingering looks. One memory in particular struck her. It was last week when they were in the library together. Waverly had been elbow deep in some tome, looking absolutely ethereal, and Nicole had caught herself literally drooling. She had managed to keep that to herself so far, but it was only a matter of time before she repeated the incident, or at least did something equally as embarrassing. For all she knew, Waverly had experienced her own moments and she had just been blind to them. It was with that thought tumbling through her mind that she drifted off to sleep.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Anxiety flooded her veins as she stared at the email. It had been a rough few weeks, academically speaking, something she had managed to forgo until now. And it seemed as if she wasn’t the only one who realized her steady decline.

“Shitballs.” The swear was quiet, only to herself, not that anyone else occupying the hallway would notice or care otherwise. The semester was rolling along and at this point, panic had set in for many who had slacked off until the last possible moment. For the especially studious, a category Waverly had always prided herself to be a part of, that meant hours spent stretched to the max, focus split between study and course work. But for the first time, she had fucked it up. And based on the email still gracing her screen, her advisor had noticed as well.

The meeting had been scheduled for the following day. She was a planner who under most circumstances appreciated forewarning, but with the stress she was already feeling at having fallen so far behind, a less than cheery meeting looming over her head for the next 24 hours, she would have gladly faced the consequences now than wait it out. Maybe she was overthinking and this would be routine. Scheduling for the spring semester was fast approaching, so it wasn’t unreasonable to assume that’s all this was. But her gut told her otherwise, as did the obvious lack of clarity on her advisor’s part.

She stuffed her phone in her coat pocket and brushed her hair out of her face, looking around the hallway to find it all but deserted. The next class must have started while she was spun up in her own anxiety. That gave her a about an hour before she was due anywhere, and given the current condition of her grades, she felt it prudent to use that time wisely.

There wasn’t much point to going back to her room, so the library would have to do for now. She grabbed her bag off of the floor and powerwalked out into the cold. November had flown by, leaving only a week left before December crashed in. Waverly was beyond ready for a break, but her heart hurt at the thought of where that left her. 

She still hadn’t racked up the courage to text Wynonna to meet. Days kept passing and the more she saw come and go, the harder it got. Nicole had finally pushed her into talking it through last week. She knew her stress had started leaking over, become more and more clear to both Chrissy and Nicole. Chrissy had pushed from the start, encouraging her to get it over with, offering her support if need be, but Waverly hadn’t been ready. Nicole let her think though, staying clear of the subject as long as she could until it became apparent that it was doing too much harm to Waverly. 

Nicole had been so gentle with her, bringing the topic to her attention naturally, letting her slip slowly into its uncomfortable waters. In the end, it had been a good talk, one she was grateful for. She knew she needed to just do it, but Nicole had made her see that holding out was only hurting her more. It was time.

Waverly had gone back to her room that night, alone (something she hadn’t been doing much of lately), and penciled ‘Text Her!!’ into that Saturday’s slot. Saturday now being only two days away. If only it were here already, then she wouldn’t have to face whatever awaited her in her meeting tomorrow.

The library doors opened and welcomed her in with a swift gust of warm air. She had been so caught up in her thoughts she hadn’t the mental capacity to even realize how cold she had become over her short walk. But she was here now, and with limited time, wasted none on dallying, quickly taking the stairs down two at a time intent to set up in her usual spot.

Out of nervous habit, she pulled her phone from its pocket to check the time and notifications as she rounded the corner only to stop dead in her tracks when her eyes finally returned up only to land on Nicole.

Instantly she felt that now familiar pull, drawing her in to the redheaded beauty, but the anxiety clawing at her told her to turn around and leave. She didn’t have time to let her eyes wash over Nicole’s face thirty-seven times in the next forty-five minutes and she knew herself well enough to recognize that if she stayed that is exactly what would happen. She should have known better that to come down to this spot. This is where they met to study on the weekends and Nicole had confessed to making it a home of her own sometimes when Waverly wasn’t around to share it with her.

Before she had time to decide, Nicole glanced up and caught her eye, bright smile flashing instantly. There was no explanation to excuse her now, so Waverly slowly made her way over, letting herself feel that swell of emotions for just a moment.

“Waves, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Nicole’s voice was soft, keeping her volume down out of respect to the others in their vicinity. “Don’t you have class soon?” 

“Uh, yeah, I do.” She didn’t sit, instead hovering awkwardly off to the side. “I had a lot of work to do though so I thought, well, you know…” Her arms rose up from her sides, half-heartedly gesturing around them.

“I know what you mean. I’m pretty swamped right now.” Nicole pushed some of the many papers on the table around as if to show her exactly how swamped she was. For some reason, it got under Waverly’s skin. She highly doubted Nicole understood exactly how behind she was. “But, I’d happily take a break if it meant I got to talk to you for a few minutes.”

Waverly shifted her weight, the pull of her bag on her shoulders growing increasingly uncomfortable. “I don’t really have the time right now.” 

“Oh, okay. Well, in that case, let me make some room for you to sit.” Nicole stood from her spot and started pulling her stuff over the center line of the table, leaving the side opposite to her free. “If we can’t talk, at least I have your pretty hazel eyes and gorgeous wavy hair to keep me company.”

Why didn’t she get that this wasn’t a social visit? She was so far behind that she couldn’t even keep track of where she needed to pick up from, let alone how she would actually do it. “Nicole…” It was frustrated half plea, half scold and the look on the redhead’s face told her that Nicole could tell.

“Okay. Sorry.” The other woman sat back down into her chair, pulling her paper from early back in front of her. “I wasn’t trying to push, I just thought…” The sentence hung in the air. Waverly started to reconsider. She didn’t really have enough time to get into anything now anyways. If anything, she should just use this time to plan out a schedule to get caught up. She was about to sit down, but then Nicole sighed out, picking up her pencil and dropping her head back down to concentrate on her work, but not before letting one more comment slip. “I just thought you’d want to sit with me is all.”

Suddenly it was too hot in the building. She already felt a little bit bad at being short with Nicole. Now she just felt worse. But she was beyond stressed, and anxious, and quickly reaching her emotional limit, and those things don’t always make for rational thinking or the best behavior. “Damn it, Nicole. I said I’m busy. I don’t have time to sit here and argue with you.” Nicole’s head shot up, confusion and hurt sweeping across her features, making Waverly feel even worse, frustrating her even more, and inherently making the entire situation even more stressful. She could tell her voice was starting to carry as she continued, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I’ve already wasted too much time on this.” She sighed out, rubbing her hands against her face. 

Nicole looked around them, bringing Waverly’s attention along, noticing a few pairs of eyes pointing in their direction. “Fuck.” This was too much. “I’ve got to go.” 

She hadn’t even made it a step before a hand closed gently around her wrist. “Waverly, wait, I’m…”

“I said I have to go.” She spit out, bringing more pairs of eyes over. “Just, don’t, Nicole.”

She didn’t bother to look back as she fled the library, not that she would have been able to see if Nicole had tried to follow anyways given the way her vision blurred from unshed tears. She knew she had been an ass. She knew Nicole didn’t deserve any of that. But she didn’t have time to fix it right now, nor was she in the right headspace to do so. 

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole gave up on her paper. Her tears had already muddled enough of her work. It was best to salvage what she could and leave. The last thing she wanted to do was battle for focus with her hurt feelings and the embarrassment she felt at being yelled at for nothing in front of a bunch of random people. No, it was time to go.

She quickly stuffed as much as she had the patience to into their rightful places, opting to scoop the rest up in her arms and she rushed out. There was still a few hours before her class later and she didn’t exactly feel like being in public, which left her heading back to her dorm room.

Since it had gotten colder, their door had been sticking. Nicole couldn’t figure out why. That was something that normally happened as it got warmer, but apparently, no one had bothered to tell the door that. Which is exactly why she found herself trying to balance all her stuff in one hand as she slammed her shoulder into the door for the third time. And because her morning hadn’t been shitty enough, the door flew open with no resistance. Nicole tumbled in, almost maintaining her balance, but in the end, she dropped her stuff in barely enough time to awkwardly break her fall and keep her teeth still firmly planted in her head.

Feeling defeated, she shoved her dropped belongings further into the room and kicked the door shut, attention turning to the wrist she landed on. Luckily, she didn’t think it was broken, but it was swelling slightly and the pain was enough to worry her. She let the tears flow freely, too hurt from both Waverly’s behavior and her injury to bother trying to keep it in any longer. 

She sat on the floor, cradling her injured wrist for a good half hour, before Shae returned and opened the door with a mighty whack right into her shoe. 

“Oh shit!” The brunette closed the door behind her and moved to drop her stuff on her bed. “Sorry! What are you doing on the flo...” She froze when she turned back around, noticing her state. “Oh geez, Nicole?” She hunched down, brushing her hair out of her face to meet her eyes. Nicole wanted to hide, but she knew it was pointless. Shae wouldn’t stand for that. “What happened to you? Are you okay?”

A sob fell out and she let her head drop. This really wasn’t what she wanted right now. Being alone sounded much better.

“Nicole, you are worrying me. At least tell me if you are okay.” Shae sat down beside her, leaning slightly in, shoulder pressing into her own. “Nicky please…”

She sighed and brought her head up and back to rest against the foot of her bed. “No. I’m not okay. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay. We don’t have to.” Shae lifted her hands up in defeat. “But your arm is royally fucked up. You need to at least let me take it to get looked at.”

She was probably right. The throbbing was getting to be a lot. “Fine.”

Shae stood up and hovered over her, arm outstretched toward her good one. “Come on, let’s get you to the campus clinic.”

The nurse had taken one look at her arm and left to get the doctor, who promptly wrote her an order for an x-ray. Two hours, a tight bandage, and some good painkillers later, Shae led her out back to their room.

“Well at least it isn’t broken. Sounds like you got lucky.” She said, jamming her shoulder into the door to unstick it.

“Yeah, so lucky.” She replied sarcastically. “Lucky, lucky me.”

“Alright you big baby. Spit it out.”

“Spit what out?”

Shae rolled her eyes and sat down on her bed, staring intently at her. “Whatever the hell caused you to be all…” She waved her hands out, gesturing up and down at Nicole.

“I told you at the clinic, I fell on my wrist when I tried to slam the door open with my shoulder.” She knew that wasn’t what Shae was asking and by the less than subtle ‘bullshit’ look on her face, she knew equally well that she was just going to have to get it over with if she wanted any peace.

“Waverly happened.” Shae’s eyebrows shot up but she didn’t say anything. “I don’t know what got into her, but totally out of nowhere she just snapped on me. It was like she hated me or something. I don’t know.” She sighed, walking over to sit on her own bed. “I ran into her in the library and said I would make room for her and she just went off about how I was wasting her time. She practically screamed it at me. Half the campus probably heard.”

“Girlfriends fight Nicole.”

Her head whipped around to meet Shae’s eyes so fast she nearly pulled a muscle. “We aren’t girlfriends!”

“If you say so.” Nicole could hear the hurt in her voice, knowing Shae still cared about her a lot but was trying to put her first. For a moment, she wished she could return those feelings and have everything go back to being easy and uncomplicated. Then again, it had never been that for them either. “Look, Nicole, I’ve listen to you talk about that girl a million times over and from what you tell me, she likes you back.”

“I never said I liked her.”

“You didn’t need to.” Shae stood up and threw her jacket back on. “Just…just, don’t be an idiot, okay. You never know how much time you have left before you run out of chances…”

Nicole’s mouth opened in a question but Shae had left before she had a chance to ask what the hell she meant. Why did everyone have to be so damn cryptic and confusing today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, as it turns out... I am so beyond overloaded and have like negative time on my hands to write. I've not been able to set aside nearly as much time as I normally would to get these chapters together. I can't be sure if this long of a gap will be regular or if it will be more like a one off. I posted a twitter poll earlier and it seems like people prefer to wait for longer chapters, over having shorter but more frequent chapters. Drop me a comment if you have a preference and if more people prefer the shorter chapter shorter wait setup I'll change to that.   
> Anyways, I'm sorry for such a long wait!!!


	12. Frailty and Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got all muddled up and journeyed to the edge of town  
> And then the road cracked open, sucked me in, and I went down
> 
> -Edge of Town // Middle Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... I have excuses but I still feel baddddd!!! Please forgive me for being gone so long and also for this angst fest. Things start to get serious here so please be warned this isn't the happiest chapter.

Despite her slight worry over Shae’s mysterious warning, Nicole took it for the advice it was and decided to get over herself just a bit and try to reach out to Waverly. After three unreturned texts and one call, she had come to the conclusion that it had been a mistake. After all, she had done nothing. Waverly had freaked out on her, not the other way around. She didn’t deserve that treatment, and she certainly didn’t deserve whatever the hell this cold shoulder bullshit was. Her residual hurt feelings began to fester, fueled by the added insult of being brushed off. Maybe she had misread everything. Maybe Waverly had thought she felt something and realized she had been wrong. Maybe she finally reached out to Wynonna and was too busy to bother remembering she existed. It hurt regardless.

So, she stopped going to the library. She stopped going to the coffee shop. She stopped rerouting her morning commute by the history building, a habit she had picked up early into their friendship. She figured the less opportunity she provided for the world to toss the two into shared space, the better off she would be. It was bad enough having to swallow her feelings and carry herself around with any sort of dignity. She didn’t think her heart could handle the rejection in person.

Shae had quietly observed her, making gentle comments here and there. First trying to comfort her, reassuring her that Waverly probably was just going through something and that in time she would reappear, regretful and eager to win Nicole over again. It helped a little, but she highly doubted it was that. After a little while, Shae suggested she try to move past it, focus on her studies, her friendships, her future in general. Nicole figured that might actually be the better advice.

Shae herself seemed a bit better. A little off still, but better. She seemed preoccupied with something but wouldn’t ever admit to what it was that had her in such an unhealthy place before. Nicole figured her new outlook and attitude had something to do with that. She worried still, but Shae seemed to be on a better track, so she left her to her secrets. Instead the two fell into a comfortable pattern, much like what they had shared months back. It was refreshing, and given Nicole’s current list of no-go locations, welcomed. Her dorm room was the only place she could ever feel completely comfortable in anymore. No chance of a rogue Waverly.

But she still missed her. So. Fucking. Bad. That hurt worst. That complete and devastating feeling of loss and emptiness. So much of her life lately connected her to the brunette and it was gut wrenching to lose not only her friend and crush, but everything in her vicinity. Primarily Wynonna. Who she was still beyond fucking pissed at. But also, their band. She could use an outlet now especially, but that was currently embroiled in a host of drama. Waverly and Wynonna. She and Wynonna. She and Waverly… 

The only thing she seemed to gain out of all this, besides a slightly more manageable friendship with Shae, was a budding friendship with Dolls. He had texted her one night, worried about Wynonna, saying he hadn’t seen her in days, asking Nicole if she had heard anything. She hadn’t. And despite her fury, she couldn’t turn her back on someone, anyone really, let alone someone she still cared about. So, she had called hospitals while Dolls called police stations. It surprised absolutely no one when he had been the one to find her - locked up in a drunk tank in some nowhere town an hour outside the city. 

They had kept in contact, starting with brief checks in, until Nicole suggested they meet for coffee one day by his house to discuss the band. Dolls had agreed and met her the next Saturday morning, looking worse for wear. The band never came up. Instead they passed the time in near silence, both acknowledging they weren’t exactly close confidants but nevertheless admitting to needing a friend. Not that either spoke as much out loud. It was just something that was understood.

Three days later, Dolls asked her to come pick him up from a bar. She was surprised but agreed readily. She had sworn he didn’t drink. When she drove up and parked, ready to walk in and scoop him off a bar stool, she almost missed the man hunkered down against the cold off to the side of the ratty old building, until she heard her name. One look told her enough. This wasn’t a drunken call for a safe ride home, it was something else entirely.

His face looked like an oversized blueberry. Bruised and bloated, his eyes were but tiny slits, one a hair away from swollen shut entirely. She didn’t ask and he didn’t say. At least not that night. Nicole had carted him home, after an unsuccessful attempt to get him to the hospital to get checked out for a shattered eye socket. She only gave in when he promised to call his friend Jeremy in the morning. Dolls said he wasn’t a doctor, but “close enough to count” and if he trusted the kid then she wasn’t about to second guess his judgement.

It came out as she was leaving that night. His voice was soft and sad. So goddamn sad. He had been ‘summoned’ to the bar. Those were his words, but knowing who had called him, Nicole figured they were fitting. Wynonna had been a mess. Drunk and crying, going on and on about how she was ruining everybody’s lives now, not just her own. How was she never expected to be a role model, or a wife, or a mother. Something he had apparently thought was a ridiculous thing to focus on in the midst of what he thought to have been an upswing in her life, excusing the whole Waverly thing of course. Things in general had been looking up for her. But then she downed another shot and spat out through a desperate weep that she was pregnant. 

They had just started something, after Doc had run off as he tended to do for brief periods of time. He thought they were going somewhere. Hell, he still had thought they could have gone somewhere. He loved her. It was much less a confession as he told Nicole, more of a defeated wave of a white flag. Wynonna decided to pull the rip cord though, backing out of whatever promises they held each other to in favor of waiting out the less than reliable man who was now her baby daddy.

Nicole hadn’t said anything that night, but had confided in him eventually. Spilling everything to him. He listened. Better than almost anyone. But not quite like Waverly. Nothing would ever touch on that, but of course that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? Somehow, they had found a peace in each other. A mutual respect. An understanding that they could trust in the other enough to be vulnerable without judgement or pressure to develop some sort of expansive friendship. It felt almost like therapy.

But it wasn’t, something that rang home one morning at 3am with a series of skittering buzzes from her desk. One look at the caller ID had her nervous. Dolls. He only ever called this late when something was wrong. Which, as it turned out, was the case.

She had rushed to dress in the dark, throwing clothing on haphazardly, completely unsettled by the tone of his voice when she answered. There was such desperation seeming over the line, chilling her through in an instant. He was inconsolable and shaky, unclear in his statements or pleading. The only thing she got out of it was he needed her. Now and without questions. So she went.

He was on the side of the road, sitting with his hands in the dirtied snow, head held back, blank eyes piecing up into the frigid night air. She pulled up behind him, careful to leave her flashers on so they didn’t become roadkill. It took all her physical strength to heft him off the ground and into her passenger seat. 

If Nicole were a betting woman she would have gone all in guessing it would take more than she had to offer to get him to open up. Luckily, she wasn’t because all it took was a single look before he broke down. His words bled together as he staggered through, pausing at times to collect himself, not always successfully, but she had time. It may be all she had to offer but she could at least give him that.

Unsurprisingly, the trigger had been Wynonna. Not the rejection, but the realization that something may have come of them had her situation not unfolded the way it had. Bringing new life in the world always brought a bit of introspection, even to those outside those most immediately effected, which had been exactly what Dolls didn’t need at the moment. 

There was a lot she learned about the man beside her that morning. She discovered he had been a Marine, a good one, and he had enjoyed it… until he didn’t. It never came out what had exactly happened, but she heard enough to understand that it hadn’t been good. There was an attack, people died, there was guilt, forgiveness from some, refusals of forgiveness from others. It had been years behind him but he had struggled. Coping was never his strength, relying on physical outlets to circumvent his emotions, and when that wasn’t enough, drugs.

He was owed favors, and so his secrets remained hidden, until he redeployed and couldn’t stay clean, falling back into his old ways. Favors ran out, time ran out, excuses ran out, and then he was found out. But there had been a boy, Jeremey. Well, a man, but Dolls swore the first time the met he thought he was an actual child. They became an unusual pairing, friends from such different circles and circumstance, but the “boy”, Jeremy offered him one last chance to get clean.

Nicole remembered the name from the night at the bar, connecting the dots in her mind. Dolls had tried to call him that night, but he couldn’t get through. He had felt the warning signs and knew himself well enough to know he couldn’t be alone. So, he had called Nicole to stay with him until Jeremey could be reached.

It took another hour and a half before the call went through and after a few less than reliable directions on her part and just a little more time, Jeremy came to scoop up his friend, thanking Nicole for standing in.

She didn’t go to class that morning. Shae had given her a look as she left, but Nicole assured her she was fine, just not feeling well and needed rest. It was mostly true, but she also just needed time to process. Nothing about Dolls gave away his internal struggles or past and she couldn’t begin to grasp at what she could do to help. She felt useless, again, just like with Shae, but there was more this time. Something was scratching at her behind the surface, something familiar. What it was, she couldn’t say, but his story felt as much her own as it didn’t and she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a reason for it.

It wasn’t until she woke from a fitful nap three hours later than Nicole realized why it felt so familiar. There had been a dream. Once awhile back and now again. An attack, death, guilt, questions unanswered. Someone had been screaming, a child. She was alone in the woods, well, not alone, but not with anyone she knew. It had only been a dream and yet it felt… different.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“Waves, you can’t keep moping around here all weekend. If you don’t move eventually, your bedding will literally fuse to your ass.” 

“Chrissy, don’t be so dramatic. That isn’t possible.” She swatted at her friend’s arm as it tried, unsuccessfully, to pry her covers away.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. There was this documentary I saw once about a woman who was bedridden and had sores that ...”

“Nope!” Waverly ripped her own covers off, grabbing her toiletries. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Chrissy, I swear to god.”

“Well it got you up!” She protested. Waverly couldn’t exactly be mad given how goofy her best friend looked. She was so proud of herself and it honestly was adorable. 

“Fair.” Her voice was stern, but she hoped Chrissy understood she wasn’t upset. Who knows how long she would have moped around if she hadn’t been essentially shamed out of bed.

The shower had been a blessing. The water was flesh-melting hot and there was a pair of girls loudly gossiping about some TA they were inappropriately creeping on, but it forced her to just relax for a moment. Her head had been a wreck lately, half fucked from guilt thanks to her unjustified outburst and subsequent asshole behavior regarding Nicole, half from stressing over if she was ever going to grow the lady-balls to call her damn sister. And another half from panic over her grades and the less than comforting meeting she had with her advisor over the same topic. Shit. One half, two halves, three halves. Looked like she needed a bigger brain if she was going to make room for all that. One more problem to worry about.

When she returned from her very non-eco-friendly length shower, Chrissy had disappeared, leaving her a steaming cup of tea and a note promising her egregious bodily harm if she didn’t get out and get some fresh air by the end of the day. Rather than facing that beast, she figured she should take the loving threat as advice and go out for a bit.

Four layers and ten minutes later, she found herself standing in front of Nicole’s dorm. If she were brave she would sneak in behind someone, beg an RA for her room number, and then follow-up beg Nicole for forgiveness. But Waverly wasn’t and so she didn’t. Instead she turned her back on the building and settled on a walk through the light snowfall, an attempt to get the redhead out of her, well, head. But half an hour later she found herself rooted to the same spot, pleading with herself to get her shit together already and just go in. 

The door opened and she started forward, finally deciding enough was enough. She would just sneak in past whomever was leaving and go see...

“Nicole.”

Waverly froze, shocked to see the person she had finally found the courage to apologize to standing right in front of her. The taller woman turned toward the voice with a hint of a lingering laugh on her lips… at least until she spotted Waverly. The smile dropped and suddenly the snowfall felt like an inferno.

She had never regretted her actions more than in that moment. She could actually, physically, see the hurt on Nicole’s face. 

“Waverly? What are… what are you doing here?” Her hand finally drifted off the door, letting it come to a swift close behind her.

“Would you believe I was just walking by?” Her hands were shaking and it definitely wasn’t the cold.

It almost looked like Nicole was about to smile, but it never came. She should just apologize and leave. She obviously wasn’t welcome here.

“Waves…” Nicole sighed, rubbing at her face with a gloved hand. “I…” The sentence fell into nothing. A moment in silence passed, Waverly waiting to see if anything else would come. “Why are you really here?”

“Um, I, uh, I wanted to see you.” She took a shuddery breath in, forcing herself to meet those soft pleading eyes. “I owe you an explanation.” Her face gave nothing away. “And an apology.”

Nicole nodded. Waverly watched her slip her hands into her coat pockets, hunching her shoulders, seemingly closing herself off. She looked so small and it splintered her heart knowing she had brought this on to such a kind and generous person. Nicole never deserved something like this.

“Is there any way we could talk?”

“I don’t know.” She should have expected as much but it still hurt. “I’m supposed to be meeting people for a group project in…” She pulled her hands out of her pocket to check her watch, grimacing as she saw the time. “Well, like two minutes ago.”

“Oh, right. Of course. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this probably.” She stood to the side, indicating Nicole was free to go but the redhead didn’t move. 

“They kinda suck though. And honestly, I doubt either of them will bother to show up seeing as they’ve both blown me off twice already.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket, typing out a quick message before stuffing it back into the warmth. Their eyes met again, Nicole looking at her expectantly. When nothing happened, Nicole moved forward until she was immediately in front of Waverly. “You did want to talk, right?”

“Well, yeah, but your group?”

“I cancelled.” She shrugged, breaking eye contact to look off through the snow, breath puffing out into the cold. Waverly felt an overwhelming urge to pull her down and kiss her.

“You cancelled?”

“Of course.” Those soft doe eyes met hers again, making the small space between them feel impossibly small. “This is important.”

They had decided on neutral ground, the coffee shop. The walk had been awkward and uncomfortable, but Waverly figured that was the last thing she should be complaining about, grateful to even have the chance to right some wrongs.

The café was mostly deserted, which somehow made things even worse, not that she could really nail down why that was. Maybe it was the feeling of being exposed, no distractions.

Nicole had offered to get them drinks, and while Waverly thought it wasn’t appropriate to let Nicole do her any favors at the moment, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to say as much. What she didn’t know was Nicole was panicking just as bad as she was and just needed a breath before getting into whatever was about to come.

When the redhead returned, carefully placing a precariously filled mug in front of her, she let herself have a moment. If things blew up, if the worst came of this, then she was going to let herself live in fantasy for a minute. She wrapped her hands around the mug and brought it to her lips, sipping at her tea and watching Nicole over the rim as she settled into her seat, bringing her cappuccino to her mouth the moment she was settled. If she tried hard enough she could pretend this was a date. That they were dating, maybe girlfriends, meeting for an hour between classes or study sessions, both looking forward to a quiet night in later, where they would laugh and snuggle and kiss. And maybe more.

“Waverly?” She snapped out of her daydream, eyes catching Nicole’s raised eyebrow. The illusion broke and her anxiety came crashing back in. 

“Sorry. Just in my head a bit.” She set the mug down, wiping her sweaty palms on her knees, trying to steal a second to get her bearings again.

Nicole nodded in understanding, pushing her own mug to the side a bit as if to signal it was time to get serious, but not in an overstated way. Waverly could appreciate that. Somehow, even after everything, Nicole could see through her and did what she could to show this was still a safe space.

One more deep breath later Waverly found herself as ready as she would get. “Nicole.” She looked up, making sure she had eye contact. “I owe you a huge apology. I’ve been a horrible friend to you lately.” Friend didn’t seem like quite the right word, but there wasn’t really a more fitting term given, well, everything. “I don’t want to drop any excuses or anything so all I’ll say is it had absolutely nothing to do with you. It was all internal shit and I let it get ahead of me and worst of all, I took it out on you.”

The tension in Nicole’s shoulders didn’t disappear, but Waverly could tell at least a fraction of it fell away. “I guess I just don’t understand what it was that happened then.”

Waverly nodded, taking this as permission to talk about it in more detail. “My grades aren’t in the best place right now. Honestly, they haven’t been for a while. This semester has been really bad for me. Not that it is particularly more demanding that usual so to speak, but I just have been neglecting things.” Nicole picked her mug back up, waiting for Waverly to continue. “With everything changing, I let myself slack off, place my focus everywhere else and it caught up to me. I’d known things weren’t good but then my advisor called for a meeting and it just hit me how bad things were and I freaked out.”

She remembered feeling put out when she saw Nicole that day in the library, torn between wanting to be with her and wanting her space back. “When I saw you, I was a on the ledge already and freaking out a bit about how much I needed to do. It felt like you didn’t understand that I couldn’t be there for you in that moment and I got frustrated.”

Nicole went to say something, but Waverly risked it and cut her off before she could get anything out. “Which was totally unfair to you. You had no way of knowing. I didn’t say anything. And you were just being sweet.” That seemed to satisfy Nicole for the moment so Waverly continued.

“The moment I left the library I just wanted to go back and fix everything, but I was near hysterical by that point and it probably wouldn’t have been in anyone’s best interest for me to do anything but take some time to clear my head.” If only that was all she had done. But she let it linger. “I should have come to apologize as soon as I was in a better space, but I didn’t. And I still don’t really understand why I didn’t. And then more time passed, and then more, and eventually I felt like a fool.”

“I tried to text you.” True. “I called.” Also true. “Why didn’t you answer?”

“I don’t really know. I think maybe I was embarrassed.” Definitely embarrassed, honestly. “And I think a small part of me still felt mad. Not at you, just at everything.” Quiet seeped in as she thought about what she was about to say next. It already sounded like an excuse in her head but it was how she felt. Nicole deserved to know the whole truth, even if it upset her again. “I’ve been putting off calling Wynonna for so long, and then you, and it was giving me so much anxiety, and then you tried to reach out and felt like somehow I would be failing if I let you be the one to fix it for me.” It sounded like bullshit. There was no way Nicole would understand. “I needed to do it myself but I was being stubborn and foolish. I should have just picked up the damn phone and told you how much of an ass I’d been and apologized.”

“That certainly would have been preferable.” Waverly looked up but couldn’t quite make out her form through the tears welling in her eyes. She hadn’t even noticed them forming until now. She couldn’t even apologize without causing a scene.

“God, Nicole, I am so sorry.” Her nose was starting to run, giving her one more obstacle to talk through. “I feel like such a massive asshole.”

“I wouldn’t say massive.” Waverly could tell she was trying to lighten the mood but somehow that just made her cry more. “Waves, I can’t say it didn’t hurt, but I trust that you didn’t mean to hurt me, okay?” A gentle hand found hers. Soft fingers laced through hers and she lost it.

Nicole dropped her hand and for a moment, Waverly thought maybe she had pushed it too far, and Nicole was over her overemotional shit, but then a chair scrapped, and the one next to her followed and she realized Nicole had simply changed seats, opting for the one next to her. She fell easily into the strong arms wrapping around her. God, what a mess.


	13. Comfort and Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You keep me still when all I feel is an endless direction  
> When I think I'm losing connection  
> I see you
> 
> -Wild Roses // Of Monsters and Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haught damn, look at this shit! Two chapters within (roughly) a week of each other. The wonders of winter break. If it helps at all, I had a really good excuse and it was worth it seeing as I got perfect grades this semester, which is arguable the most demanding for physics/math nerds like me. I tell you this so you take pity and don't come torch me for leaving this story for so long. Hopefully I will have a few more reliable updates before the next semester starts. Anyways, none of you are here for this nonsense, so on with the actual story!

The room was dark, the heavy cloud cover obscuring the stars and moon that otherwise might have lit the interior of her dorm. Chrissy was gone for the night, off to her boyfriend’s again, something that had become a regular occurrence as of late. Waverly couldn’t blame the girl for falling into the honeymoon phase of her new relationship with such passion, hell she wished she had something similar for herself. But she still missed her. Tonight especially. 

And yet she was alone, sitting buried under a pile of blankets wishing like hell she wasn’t so stubborn. See, today was the deadline she had declared following her conversation with Nicole. Having seen not only how much hurt and anxiety she caused herself, but those she cared about, she decided she could no longer stand by and watch herself despair over what could have and should have been. Wynonna was here now so best to just get it over with already before her sister decided to trail off to another continent and leave her behind, disappointed, yet again.

Of the three main anxiety inducing problems in her life, she had managed to make progress resolving one: her grades, and was determined to take a crack at another: her sister, leaving only her precariously “mended” relationship with Nicole. That however was a problem for anytime but now. If she let herself linger on where they had left things, better but not exactly good, she wouldn’t be able to summon up the courage needed to pick up the damn phone already. No, Nicole would have to wait for tomorrow. 

And yet her mind just couldn’t stay away. She missed her, a hell of a lot if she were being honest with herself. And tonight, of all nights she needed that steady reassurance the redhead always brought with her. She needed to feel some semblance of normalcy, some connection, some guarantee that even if Wynonna was all talk and no follow through, she would still have someone waiting in the wings for her.

Nicole wasn’t physically here, and they still didn’t quite know where they stood, but she knew, if it came down to it, Nicole would drop anything to be there. Which is exactly why she wouldn’t ask. Because she deserved to drift back into their friendship at her own pace, and their relationship deserved the patience they had yet to fully allow. So, she wouldn’t call. Or text. Or anything. Nope, she was on her own with this one and she just had to suck it up. Which unsurprisingly, sucked.

Looking down at Wynonna’s open contact she ran through a mental checklist of things she wanted to say, things she wouldn’t let herself say no matter how badly she may want, and where she drew the line if that’s where the conversation ended up going. In a brief flash of confidence, she hit the call icon, shut her eyes forcefully, willing her nerves to stay settled long enough for the other woman to answer.

But no one did. 

There was reason back in her mind telling her no one answered unknown numbers anymore. That is probably all this was, just normal behavior. Yet slight panic set in, panic that Wynonna had already moved on, to a new number, a new town, new country, whatever, just gone. But that seemed unlikely. Nicole would know. She would tell her. There is no way she would let this anxiety fester like she knew Waverly tended to do if there was no metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel. 

So, if not that, then surely, just the unknown number thing, right? But what if Wynonna knew who was calling? What if she had Waverly’s number already, from Nicole, or someone else entirely, and had programmed it into her phone. If she knew and saw it was her sister calling and didn’t pick up, then it must be because she didn’t want to talk to her. What if she had grown impatient waiting for Waverly to finally reach out. What if she was mad? What if Waverly had lost her chance?

Her breathing was getting tight, quick, uncomfortable. She could feel stress sweat in places she didn’t normally sweat. Everything seemed like it was exactly the worst it could be suddenly.

And then her phone rang.

Wynonna.

With a quick breath in to steel her nerves and keep the pooling tears from falling, she answered the call.

“Wynonna?”

There was a brief pause and the panic came surging back. But then she heard her sister’s voice.

“Babygirl, is that you?”

“Yes!” She could hardly get the word out with how tight her throat felt.

“Oh, thank fuck. Waverly, I’m so glad you called.”

Her cheeks were damp, eyes cloudy. She never stood a chance against the swells. “Wynonna. I, I tried to call a million times, and I just… I couldn’t do it.”

“It’s okay. You needed time.”

“God, I’m so mad at you and I can’t even care about that right now.” Tears had turned to near full sobs. It was getting harder to keep everything together. She didn’t know how much she feared losing the woman altogether until now.

“I know, I’m so mad at myself.” The voice on the other end of the line had gone all squeaky, and it took a minute for Waverly to connect the pieces and understand Wynonna was crying too. “Jesus, I can’t believe you called. I thought I had fucked this all up for good.”

“Fucked it up, yes, for good, no.” Waverly took to wiping at her eyes with the edge of the topmost blanket. “At least I hope not. That isn’t what I want.”

“Me nether.” The line was quiet as they both collected themselves. Waverly took the time to get some tissues to blow her nose. Finally, her sister spoke again. “Can we meet, in person? I’d really like to talk, to work things out between us. If you want of course.”

“Yeah. I think that would be better. Can you meet tomorrow? At one?”

“Yeah. I can do that.”

Waverly felt the first strings of hope tug. Maybe this would all end up okay. Not necessarily right away, but eventually. “Okay. I’ll, uh, I’ll text you the place later then.”

“Okay, yeah. That works for me.” 

The line fell quiet again, neither really knowing how to end the call.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Babygirl.”

“See you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

She hung up and fell back onto her bed, overcome with relief and exhaustion. All she wanted to do was pass out and sleep for the next year, but that part of her jumping up and down at the prospect of finally seeing her sister needed to breathe. 

Waverly rolled onto her side and brought her phone before her eyes, switching to another contact quickly and pressing call without a second’s hesitation.

It only took two rings for the recipient to pick up. “Waves? Is everything okay?”

Fuck, she hadn’t thought. She shouldn’t have called. Maybe she could just hang up and pretend it had been a butt dial or something if she asked later.

“Waverly? What’s wrong? Are you safe? Do you need help?”

“Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn’t have called. I didn’t think.”

There was an audible sigh from the other end. “Oh, Waves, you don’t have to be sorry. You can always call me. Always, okay?”

“I know, it’s just with how we left things, I wasn’t sure…”

“Nothing changes that. Ever. I am always here for you. Even if you turn into a sea witch and curse me.”

She couldn’t not laugh. Nicole always knew how to sooth her and right now she was grateful for the break in tension.

“Not a sea witch.”

“I know you aren’t.” The line was quiet but not uncomfortably so. She let herself roll onto her back, eyes closed, and just breathe. Nicole was there for her, she wasn’t alone, Wynonna wanted to see her, things were going to be okay. She just had to remember that. “Did you want to talk? We could meet up somewhere. I know it’s late and all, but if you need me, I’m all yours.”

She should say no, thank her for being so kind, and let her get some rest. “Okay.” So, maybe she wasn’t exactly strong enough to turn her down. What could she say?

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Part of her knew it was best to take some time, let things normalize at their own pace. But mostly, she missed Waverly. She wanted the tiny brunette back in her days, in her arms, in her fucking bed if she were truthful. She wasn’t mad anymore. Well, maybe just a tiny bit. But she also understood. Anxiety wasn’t new to her and she knew how it could creep up on you in an instant, let alone what it felt like to pile up so rapidly you felt like you might truly suffocate.

Waverly had apologized, she had meant it, and she had promised to try to be more open about her feelings and needs from now on. That’s all she could really ask for.

But right now, that was unimportant because Waverly was so very obviously upset about something. Nicole could tell the second she answered the phone, it was like it was bleeding urgency and distress. So naturally, Nicole had thought through every worst-case scenario imaginable only to have to talk herself down in order to adequately hear and understand the girl on the other end. 

Waverly had agreed to come over and a little bell was chiming somewhere back in the recesses of her mind that this would be the first time she had seen her room. It was such a trivial thing to worry about, and yet Nicole couldn’t help the butterflies sweeping through her stomach. It was just a piece of her, but she wanted Waverly to like it, to feel comfortable. If things progressed as she wished, at some point down the road she hoped they would be spending time together, nights together, and at least some of those would undoubtedly be in her room. She needed Waverly to feel as at home as she did when they were at hers.

In a mad rush, Nicole worked to clear the miniscule clutter, rearranging every little item relentlessly as if that would somehow make the difference. When the text came in alerting her Waverly was outside she took one last look around and made her way out.

She had expected an emergency, maybe tears, or restless hands, anything other than what she found waiting for her outside the building’s entrance. Waverly was radiant, happiest Nicole had seen her in a very long time. It hit her in an instant, physically taking her breath away and stopping her where she stood. All the stress and anxiety welled up and hidden away fell to the side.

Not stopping to think, she rushed in and wrapped herself tightly around the smaller woman, lifting her off her toes and spinning her once before depositing her back in her place. Whatever had caused this, she would take it, and gratefully. Waverly deserved some happiness and Nicole was just glad to bear witness to it, whatever it may be.

They stood in the freezing December air, surrounded by nothing but the night wind, arms locked around waists, eyes lost to each other, thoroughly invested in this one singular moment.

It was Waverly who finally spoke, the chill become ever more apparent, prompting her to ask Nicole to let them in. She agreed and led them up to her room, still overcome with relief and joy, the previous nerves now settled firmly into gentle anticipation. With the door opened, she stood to the side and let Waverly enter first, giving her a moment to just look. It was only a little unnerving, but when the brunette turned back to her, smile wide as ever, Nicole relaxed and joined her. 

It was plain as day which side of the room belonged to her, nevertheless, Nicole walked over to sit on the edge of her bed, hoping to do away with any hesitation, just in case. They sat side by side a moment, pinkies drifting closer against the covers, neither ready to outright reach, but unable to still themselves.

“Thanks for letting me come see you. I know it’s late.”

“I was still up.” She turned to face the other girl, offering a delicate smile. “And even if I wasn’t, you’d still be welcome.”

“I can’t believe I’ve never been in your room before.” They both shared a chuckle, Waverly just a tad more so. “I like it. It feels very you.”

“Well, thank you.” 

Another minute of comfortable silence passed before Nicole resettled herself, kicking off her shoes and scooting back until she was leaning against her pillows. When the smaller of the two didn’t join her, Nicole patted the small space beside her. Waverly took the hint, removing her own boots and crawled up the bed, taking one step more to bury herself under the covers.

Nicole couldn’t help but roll her eyes playfully, knowing full well how cold Waverly got no matter the weather or temperature. It took a little more work on her part, but eventually she too found herself under the blankets. It went unsaid, but they both knew what the other wanted, limbs repositioning and covers adjusted until they were both comfortable, Waverly lightly draped across her body in a mostly modest embrace.

“So, I take it something prompted this late-night visit. Care to tell me what’s on your mind?” Her tone was soft, as now with their proximity, anything other than a whisper seemed too like an intrusion. 

“I finally did it. I called her.” She readjusted slightly until she could meet those gorgeous hazel eyes. “I know. I can’t believe I grew some balls, well, ovaries, or whatever. You know what I meant Nicole, don’t look at me like that.”

She could hardly pretend not to know what she was referring to, given the way her chest was shaking with her laughter. But what was a little playfulness now and then? “Like what?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Waverly swatted at her stomach lightly, leaving her hand after to rest there. “But seriously. I did it.”

“I’m glad, Waves. I know how much it was stressing you out.” She could feel the way those slender fingers traced a slow circle into her lower ribs. It was getting hard to concentrate on the conversation, but she wasn’t about to stop it. “Did you guys talk?”

“Sort of. Mostly we just agreed to meet in person tomorrow.” The fingers were replaced with gentle scratching, causing a shiver to run down that side. “I’m excited, I think. Maybe more nervous? I’m not really sure.”

Those nails were driving her mad. It had been too long since they shared any sort of physical connection and to be tossed right into it with no warning was too much. Nicole slipped her own hand beneath the sheets, stilling Waverly’s movements. “Do you want some moral support? I can come with, hang nearby so you don’t have to go alone.”

Their fingers threaded together, the familiar circles picking up on her thumb, something Nicole figured she could handle. “Actually, I think I need to do this on my own. But thank you. Maybe we can see each other after though? Get a drink or something?”

“Of course.”

The conversation flowed from the next day’s activities to school and study plans for finals. Eventually it petered off until both were struggling against sleep. Nicole knew they shouldn’t be spending the night together, especially since Shae was due back from her med school scouting trip early the next morning. The last thing either of them needed was her ex stalking in to find them wrapped up in bed together. Shae would never for a second believe nothing happened between them and Nicole really didn’t want what was sure to be incessant questioning about her new ‘girlfriend’.

And yet, she couldn’t be bothered with getting up and walking Waverly out, and Waverly didn’t exactly appear to want to go either. So, they stayed curled up together in her bed, slowing drifting off.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“So… looks like you had a good night.” 

“Says you.” Waverly threw the comment over her shoulder as she rushed to collect her shower things. “Weren’t you with your boyfriend last night?”

“Yup.” Chrissy put her book down on the end of the bed and sat up. “And you were with?”

“Nicole.” Her voice was faint, hoping she could get out of the conversation if she could only hurry the fuck up and get all her stuff.

“Sorry, what was that? Did you say Nicole?”

So much for that. She sighed and set her stuff down, glancing nervously at the time. Nicole had a later morning that she did, and with the unintentional sleepover, she hadn’t had an alarm to rely on to wake up, cutting things close. But she wasn’t running behind enough to warrant bailing out of the conversation completely.

“Yes, I said Nicole. I went to see her last night and we fell asleep.”

Chrissy didn’t say anything, but the look she was giving her was enough of a statement.

“Nothing happened, Chrissy, so you can stop looking so smug.”

“Nothing happened? Nothing at all?”

“Yup.” She picked her things back up and plucked her towel off the hook.

“Wait, for real?” Chrissy looked almost disappointed. “You didn’t even kiss her?”

“No, okay, we didn’t kiss. Nothing happened.”

“Then why do you look so damn happy?”

Waverly turned back to face her roommate, leaning against their door. “I’m meeting Wynonna today.” Just saying it out got her blood rushing. She was still nervous as shit. “Plus, things with Nicole are better. I think we will be okay.”

“Well, damn.” Chrissy laughed, smile bright and contagious. “I’m really happy for you Waves.”

“Thanks.” She stood there for another moment, head back against the door, willing her nervous energy to dissipate but knowing that was unlikely.

“Though, if you don’t get your ass in the shower you’re gonna be late and no one will be happy about that.” 

“Shit!” Chrissy was right, enough talk. “See you later!” 

Both of her morning classes drug by painfully slow. Given her recent academic scare, you would think Waverly would have been tuned completely in, but with the meeting with her sister looming just on the horizon, she was understandably distracted. 

She honestly was surprised she didn’t vibrate any screws loose on her chairs given how violently her legs were bouncing. More times than not she would run out over the short break between classes to get a coffee from the on-site café but caffeine did not mix well with restlessness, so she had opted for caffeine free herbal tea. It took her all of fifteen minutes into her next class to drain the cup, leaving it subject to her nervous energy. Scraps of thick paper sat spread across her notebook, something she paid no mind to until class ended and she realized she had one more little task to deal with before she could leave campus to meet Wynonna.

“One more reason to hate single-use cups.” She muttered under her breath, clumsily rushing to pick up all the little pieces, knocking a few scraps off the table. “Shitballs.”

“Waverly, you okay dear?” The voice of her kindly old ancient Greek professor drifted over. Waverly absolutely loved the woman. She oozed sweet grandma energy, always checking in with her students, bringing in baked goods regularly, never without a comforting touch to her ways. Waverly had been crushed when she found out she would be retiring at the end of the year.

“Sorry, a bit distracted today. I have a meeting on my mind.” She kept reaching down to pick up pieces only for more to tumble out of her hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She sighed, watching yet another piece drift down. “Unfortunately, I’m already risking being late, so I’ll have to go without this time. Thank you though.”

“Well in that case, let me get this and you go on.” Waverly tried to refuse the offer, but the woman was already hunched down, plucking pieces off the dirty floor. “Go on. I’m fine, promise. Shoo.”

Waverly caved and thanked her profusely as she quickly grabbed her things and headed out the door. She’d have to find a way to thank her properly later, but for now, she needed the help and it was going to be hard enough getting there on time with the weather.

It was five after their designated meeting time when Waverly spotted her sister through the window. She was late, yes, but knowing Wynonna, five minutes wouldn’t bother her, so she’d count it as close enough to success not to worry about it. Compared to the winter storm she left outside, the shop was downright tropical, prompting her to make her way over to the table while removing her heavy winter coat.

“Hey Babygirl.” Wynonna was nervous, like really nervous, which somehow calmed her own nerves. She wasn’t the only one.

“Hey.” She draped her coat across the back of the chair, hovering slightly, not entirely sure if she should just sit or round the table to give her a hug. 

Thankfully, Wynonna chose for her, making her way over and wrapping her arms around her tightly. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.”

It felt like home. It had been so unbearably long since they had been together and Waverly had missed the comfort of her older sister. They had been through a hell of a lot as kids, bringing them close, relying on each other more than most siblings should have to. But then Wynonna had left and she had been alone again. Not physically so, she still had her aunt and uncle, but emotionally so. They had been inseparable, understanding of each other, they both just got it, and then it was all gone and she was left in a town that hated everything about her that mattered yet loved the things that didn’t.

Eventually she had left too, coming to the city for school. At first, she didn’t want to, desperate to cling onto the one remaining familiar thing in her life, but Gus and Curtis had insisted. And for that she was grateful. She didn’t really blame Wynonna for leaving, or staying away. That town had hated her worst of all. Of all the Earps Purgatory had seen, Wynonna was the bottom of the barrel to them. She would have skipped town too.

No, it was that the older girl had run off with little to no warning. Had found a new life in a new place, and seemingly forgotten all about her baby sister stuck back in the middle of nowhere. She had left her behind and didn’t even have it in her to call.

But they were here, now, in the same city, both wanting to reconnect, to share in their lives. Waverly wasn’t about to walk away from that and she didn’t think Wynonna was either.

Finally, Wynonna loosened her grip and sat back in her chair, Waverly doing the same. There was already a mug sat in front of her. Wynonna must have ordered before she arrived.

“I hope you still like that disgusting tea you used to drink when you were a kid.” She nodded her head and picked the mug up, blowing across it gently before taking a sip. “Good. I didn’t want to start this off already fucking it up.” The statement came out as a joke, but she could read beneath the surface and see her sister was scared to mess up.

“It’s perfect, thanks Wynonna.” 

It was evident neither really knew where to start. So much time had passed. There was a lot that needed to be said, to be explained. Nothing felt like the right place to begin.

“Sorry this is so awkward.” Wynonna shook her head at herself. “I just…” She shook her head again, sighing loudly. “I just fucked up so much of my life, and I’m so sorry that part of that was you. I never wanted that to be the case.”

“Well, we are here now.” Waverly reached across the table, holding Wynonna’s fidgeting hand still. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you’ve been up to?”

Half an hour passed as Wynonna talked. It came as no surprise to the younger Earp that the older woman had been traveling, getting herself into and out of trouble, jumping from one place to the next when she couldn’t fix her screw ups. What was surprising was that Wynonna finally admitted to herself that she was being destructive, that it was time to come home, or close to it at least, and start trying to make an actual life for herself.

Since coming back to Canada, Wynonna had been working, living with some friends, trying to save up enough money to get her own place, maybe get some sort of apprenticeship or something. She had said she had every intention to get in contact again, but she didn’t want to be the same old fuck up she was when she left. She needed to get her shit together first. Waverly mostly believed it, but she also sensed part of it was that Wynonna was just scared. Scared that maybe she wasn’t welcome anymore.

“After we hung up last night I called Gus.”

That was probably the most surprising of all. Her aunt hadn’t had the most patience for her older sister’s antics, and certainly wasn’t amused with how she had treated Waverly. It would have taken a lot for her sister to call.

“I asked if I could come home for Christmas. I want to make amends. With everyone.”

“What did she say?” Waverly honestly couldn’t predict where that question would land.

“She told me if I didn’t she’ll kick my ass.” Wynonna laughed as she spoke but it took a minute for the words to sink in and ease Waverly’s anxiety to ease enough to find the humor in it. “She said we better show up together or she might kick your ass too.”

“Well I guess that settles those plans.”

“I guess so.” Wynonna took a deep breath in, mentally preparing for something. What that was Waverly couldn’t guess. “You should invite Nicole too.” Oh. “Assuming I didn’t screw that whole thing up for you. You guys didn’t break up, did you?”

She couldn’t help but be a little pissed still about that whole thing. Wynonna hadn’t meant to blow it all up, but nevertheless, it hadn’t been her best move. “No, you didn’t, not permenantly at least. And there was no break up because we aren’t together.”

“Right. Sorry.” She looked sheepish, but curious as well. “So, there is nothing going on between you two?”

“I don’t know. Not nothing, but also not something? I want to be with her, and I think she wants to be with me too. Maybe not anymore.”

“Why not anymore?” Wynonna took a sip of her coffee.

“Let’s just say you aren’t the only Earp screw up.”

“Yeah, there is no way you could have reached my level of fuck up. Seriously Babygirl, what happened. Because I know that girl and she has it bad.”

Waverly’s stomach launched itself up into her throat. She knew Nicole had talked about her to some degree to her sister, before everything went to shit but she didn’t know she had been talking about her like that. Waverly wanted to know everything the redhead had ever said about her, but she also didn’t want to betray whatever confidence they held.

“I’ve been really stressed lately and I took it out on her. She didn’t deserve it. I mean, sure, we spent the night together last night and all, but…”

“Hold up.” Wynonna interrupted. “Please tell me you aren’t letting her fuck you and you’re over here not sure if there is something between the two of you.”

“What? No!” She brushed the comment off with a wave of her hand. “No, we haven’t sleep together, well not like that.”

“Like at all? Not even once?”

“No. Nicole doesn’t want to have sex unless we are in a relationship.” Wynonna’s eyes grew wide. “Which we both want, or wanted, but now I’m not so sure.”

Wynonna scooted her chair closer so they could talk openly without any eavesdroppers. “So, if you both want that, why hasn’t it happened?”

That was a loaded question. “Because I said I wasn’t ready.” Wynonna gave her a look and Waverly could see she wanted to ask. “It’s not because she is a woman. It’s just what I was saying before. There has been a lot on my mind lately and I just didn’t want to start something between us in the middle of all of that.”

“Okay. But Waves, she really cares about you. If I know that girl like I think I do, she is a literal puddle for you okay? I’m sure she still wants to be with you. So, just don’t let that stand in your way. When you’re ready.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Wynonna stood up suddenly, grabbing both their mugs. “Alright, enough of this mushy shit. I’m fucking starving. Food?”

It was another two hours before Waverly left the shop. There were still things she needed to sort out with her sister, but she felt relieved. They had talked through most of the things she had on her list, and with a promise to meet later that night after Wynonna’s shift, the rest would soon be discussed. 

Safely back in her dorm and out of the snow she pulled her phone out, seeing three texts from Nicole, all supportive and wishing her luck with her meeting. After the conversation with Wynonna, she was starting to let herself believe that Nicole was still all in. Maybe with her grades on the upswing and things getting patched over with her sister she would be ready to commit to Nicole. Well, soon. She still needed to be sure things between them were okay and that this thing with Wynonna wasn’t a false alarm. But soon.

Waverly: Hey you. Just got back.  
Waverly: Everything went great, but we didn’t get to cover everything so we are meeting tonight. Which means I have to postpone drinks.

Nicole: I’m so happy for you Waves! And of course, go be with your sister tonight, we can meet up another time.

Waverly: Thanks. For both the rain check and last night.

Nicole: Of course Waves.  
Nicole: You’re always welcome here.


	14. Inescapable Instability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to sail through  
> But they're making me swim
> 
> -Looking for Knives // DYAN

The bar looked different from the last time she had been in. Halloween. The one time she came to see Nicole play and had inadvertently discovered Wynonna was back. Time had passed and discussions had occurred and yet the memory sat heavy. Wynonna still had a few minutes left of work based on Waverly’s watch. She nervously wandered between the customers, looking for somewhere unoccupied to wait.

Wynonna, spotting her hopelessly roaming, waved the younger Earp over.

“Hey, sorry. I might be a few minutes later than I thought. You can wait back here though.”

Waverly nodded and followed her sister, thankful to have a reprieve from the masses. She was led into a back room, half office, half break room. Wynonna stashed her on a couch with one more quick apology before returning to work.

She hadn’t seen this room last time. She couldn’t help but wonder if Nicole spent a lot of time in here. If any of the thinks scattered around were hers. Part of her wished she hadn’t cancelled their drink plans, but she knew she needed to clear the air of everything with her sister before she called it a success.

If she couldn’t have the redhead by her side, maybe she could at least have a little conversation and reassurance before Wynonna returned.

The line rang twice before a somewhat distracted Nicole answered the facetime call.

She could tell the other woman was in her room, sitting at her desk, looking tired, but happy. Waverly hoped that last bit was at least in part due to her call. Just over Nicole’s shoulder, she spotted Shae, sitting atop her bed surrounded by books and trying not to get caught glancing over at the redhead. It wasn’t the best attempt to be subtle.

“Hey you. Everything okay?” Nicole stood from her chair and climbed onto her own bed. “Still meeting with Wynonna?”

“Yeah. I’m at her work right now, waiting for her to finish up.”

“I thought she was supposed to be done by now. Frankie said she was working tonight and they don’t usually work together.”

“Oh, uh, maybe they are late then?” Waverly made herself a little more comfortable on the couch. “It seemed like she wasn’t expecting to still be working.”

“Maybe.” Nicole fell silent for a second, thinking something over. “Well, if Frankie doesn’t show, give me a call. I’ll come in and cover.”

Of course, Nicole would be that thoughtful. “That’s sweet. I’m sure it isn’t necessary though. Wynonna and I can always talk later.”

“No. You’ve waited long enough, you deserve to have this time together.”

She knew she would feel better if she got through everything tonight, but she couldn’t let Nicole step in like that. She would just deal with it.

But Nicole didn’t seem to want to accept a no. “Besides, I really need some extra cash with break coming up. It’s not exactly cheap staying in the dorms over break. You’d think the fees wouldn’t be so much…”

Waverly had forgotten that Nicole didn’t have any family to go home to. Well she did, kinda, but not family that wanted her to come home, and certainly not family she wanted to come home too. Wynonna had suggested they bring the other girl home with them over break, and she hadn’t much time to really consider it. Sure, she would love to have that extra time with her. It would help take some of the possible tension away from whatever awaited them, what with Wynonna and Gus’s awkward reunion.

“Actually, about that, there was something I wanted to ask you…”

Waverly cut herself, nearly dropping the phone as she startled thanks to the door nearly busting off its hinges as Wynonna strode in nearly fuming.

“I fucking swear, if that shit does this one more time, I may actually rip her head off.” The older Earp turned to face her sister and instantly cooled considerably, remembering who her company was.

“Uh…” Waverly righted herself, trying to appear like she hadn’t nearly actually screamed out loud. “Who did what?”

“Frankie. She was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. I told her it was important today of all days that she show up on time. But no, her stupid ugly boyfriend and his stupid meathead friends wanted to see if they could jump off some roof into a snowbank, which of course meant the first one to go missed. Blah, blah, hospital, blah, blah. Here is a though… don’t date idiots!”

Out of breath and still looking pissed, Wynonna flopped down onto the couch next to her sister.

“Hi Wynonna,” a voice from Waverly’s phone said. She had momentarily forgotten she had Nicole on facetime.

“Who’s that?” Wynonna took the phone from her and checked the screen. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. How’s it going Naughty Haughty?”

Waverly couldn’t see the screen well from her position, but she would lay down a hefty sum that Nicole had rolled her eyes at the nickname.

“Fine. I take it Frankie showed up finally?”

“Yup.” 

An awkward silence settled over the trio, reminding Waverly that her sister and her friend hadn’t really been talking since Halloween either.

Thankfully, Nicole spoke up before it got unbearable. “Well, I’ll let you go now. Have a good chat. And Waves?”

Nicole waited until Wynonna had handed the phone back over. “Give me a call or text or something tonight?”

“You sure it won’t bother you? I’m not sure how late I’ll be out.”

“No, not at all. Whenever you finish up. I have some studying to do anyways, so I’ll probably be up late.”

“Okay. Talk to you later then.”

Nicole replied in kind and hung up, leaving Waverly alone with her sister.

“So, as charming as this hole is, I say we move this party back to the house. We stick around here and that twat-waffle Frankie might come back ‘needing’ help.”

Waverly wondered how bad Frankie was and made a note to ask Nicole if she was actually insufferable or if Wynonna was just whiny.

“Yeah, that works. Should I follow you there?”

 

The drive over didn’t take long at all. It was honestly walking distance. Well, a long walk, but still. There wasn’t much to go on from the outward appearance, but once inside she was surprised to find that it was well kept. 

Everything looked clean, not much mess, hell, there were even throw pillows. Wynonna claimed she got them for the house, but that was a hard sell. Then again, weirder things had happened, so who knew? (Another question for Nicole she supposed.) The kitchen was the only roomed that looked disorganized. Half a counter was covered in empty bottles, beer and liquor alike, a giant tub of protein powder sat perched precariously on a stool that was oddly seated in a corner, papers were stacked in piles next to the sick topped with the largest sticky note she had ever seen reading ‘STOP leaving these for me Wynonna!’, and finally, one side of the sink was filled with dirty dishes and one unexpected item: a very large dildo.

“Uhhh….” Waverly knew Wynonna was the only woman who lived in the house, the other two occupants being her two male bandmates. She assumed it didn’t belong to either of them. “Is that…?”

Wynonna walked over to where she stood in front of the sink. “Huh?”

Not entirely sure how to address it, Waverly opted for a simple point in silence.

“Oh, yeah. It’s pretty good but my other one is better. That reminds me, I need to figure out where I left it.”

“Wait, you have two? And you don’t know where one is? And the other is in the sink?”

Wynonna smirked before sitting down at the table. “Well to answer your questions in order: yes, I have two, among other things, I think I know where the other one is, probably sitting on the counter in Dolls’ bathroom, and yes that one is in the sink so that when I run the dishwasher later I remember to put it in there.”

That is a lot of information, most of which needs unpacking. “Okaayyy. First, I don’t know if you are supposed to wash it with dirty dishes. Second, why is the other one in someone else’s bathroom. And third would be what are the other things, but I don’t think I want to know, so please don’t answer that one.”

Wynonna laughed as she strode to the fridge, returning with two beers. She opened one and set it in front of her sister before opening the other and downing half. “You’re probably right on the first one. I don’t know. Ask Nicole, she is the one that told me you can wash sex toys in the dishwasher.” 

Waverly nearly spit out her beer. There was a slim to negative chance she would be asking Nicole about sex toy maintenance. She didn’t even have a dishwasher, she lived in the dorms. Does that mean she does or doesn’t have any in her room then? Oh god, she really needed to stop thinking about that.

“As for the second thing, it’s probably in his bathroom since the last time I used it was with him a few days ago.”

“Wait, I thought you and Henry were sleeping together.”

Wynonna finished her beer and pushed the bottle aside. “We were, and now we aren’t.”

“Isn’t that, you know, like awkward with you three all living together.”

She shrugged, looking completely nonplussed. “If it is, it is between them.”

Waverly had no idea how to respond. This was way outside her realm of expertise.

“You okay there? I mean, you’re no blushing virgin, right?”

“No, obviously not, but, I don’t know…”

Wynonna got herself another bottle and sat back down. “Well, I know you and Champ broke up, and you’re not sleeping with the hot redhead, so you must be getting it from yourself.”

“Can this conversation please end, seeing as my dignity has.”

Wynonna held her hands up in defeat and sat in silence, waiting for a cue. After Waverly didn’t bring anything up she broke through the awkwardness. “We should probably get the actual stuff now I guess.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole couldn’t stop checking her phone. Waverly was a big girl, she could look after her own, and yet, she just couldn’t stop worrying about her. Wynonna’s and Waverly’s meeting earlier in the day had gone well, there was no reason to think this one wouldn’t too. She just needed to stop being paranoid and focus on the notes in front of her.

But even when her mind pulled itself away from images of happy Waverly and sad Waverly and panicked, distressed Waverly, there was still the distraction of Shae.

She had been acting oddly lately. Not the ‘burn it all down’ version of weird that had thankfully been absent since her sister’s stay, but a still concerning weird. It seemed like every day was a new version of the woman. Tuesday may be kind, and affectionate Shae, who tried to give Nicole advice on her relationship with Waverly and offer up reassuring hugs. But Wednesday may bring moody and bitter Shae, who seemed so distracted with jealously and envy that Nicole could hardly stand to share space with her. Then Thursday may be a more familiar Shae, who spends the day buried under books, headphones in, furiously scribbling notes, only stopping to share a pizza with Nicole. 

But today was another version altogether. Shae seemed to be struggling to even determine where the emotions of today landed. One moment she would be running through flashcards and the next they would be angry thrown at the wall, tears clearly pooling in the she eyes. This exact thing had happened a mere hour ago. Nicole wasn’t sure how to respond, but the frustration died off as soon as it appeared and before Nicole came to a decision, Shae was already cleaning up the mess and muttering about protein compositions. The weirdest part though was when Nicole had ended her call with Waverly, Shae got up, hugged her tightly, and then left for a walk, returning a few minutes later with an opened pack of cigarettes.

In all the time they had known each other, Shae had never smoked. She said they were one of the stupidest things you could do to your body. Nicole had confessed to smoking some when she was younger, sneaking off behind the church, hoping that her parents might pay her a little more attention if they realized she was breaking rules. They didn’t and she eventually stopped trying the tactic. Her confession to Shae had led to a bit of a blow out between them though, Nicole feeling judged and condescended to, Shae eventually apologizing for her reaction. Nicole never thought she would ever see the day Shae picked up the habit herself. It was unnerving.

She tried to refocus, pulling the textbook closer. Half a paragraph in, her mind was already drifting. 

With a sigh, she pushed the chair back and stood, stretching out her sore back. She almost wished Frankie had bailed entirely so she would have an excuse to go into work. It was going to be hard to scrap enough cash together to pay for her lodging over break, and the night was a bust anyway. There was no way she would be able to reign I her attention at this point.

Shae was looking restless too. The flashcards had returned, and she had been diligently studying from them for the past fifteen minutes, but her movements were getting aggressive and Nicole could tell it wouldn’t take long before the cards found themselves scattered again.

“Hey, I can’t focus, I’m going to go for a walk. Maybe get a snack. Want to take a break and join?”

Shae looked up with fire in her eyes, but they softened immediately. “That actually sounds perfect. Let me just finish this little set and I’ll be ready.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you downstairs then.”

It took all of five minutes before Shae appeared in the lobby. Only five minutes, but Nicole had managed to check her phone about seven times. She didn’t want to miss something from Waverly.

The two roommates strode out into the cold side by side, comfortable in each other’s silence. The sting of freezing rain broke through Nicole’s worry, both for Waverly and Shae. She should have gone for a walk sooner, it might have saved her from overthinking so much.

Shae meanwhile, seemed deep in thought. She had always been on the pensive side, always thinking her decisions through, contemplating every little thing. It had been one of the things Nicole found herself attracted to at first. But that hadn’t lasted very long. It had been hard on their relationship. She felt like she needed the freedom to be spontaneous, to see where things went. Shae wanted to walk through every little thing. There wasn’t room for adventure. It was a little ironic given how freely they both jumped into dating and then living together.

But Shae had been reckless lately, flying off at any whim unexpectedly, and Nicole didn’t trust that the change was good for her. She was honestly starting to miss Shae’s old nature. If for no other reason than it meant she was okay. 

She knew she wasn’t.

“Um, Shae, I wanted to ask. Is there something going on? You seem a little distracted lately.”

She really hoped it wasn’t overstepping. They weren’t together anymore. Their friendship wasn’t solid. Maybe it wasn’t her place, she really couldn’t say.

The other woman stopped walking and took a deep breath in. They were probably the only two idiots stupid enough to be out in this weather, let alone embarking on whatever this conversation was about to be.

“I don’t think I’m really ready to talk about it. I don’t even think I am ready to acknowledge it myself.”

“Okay. That’s okay.” They started moving again, pace slower, but progressing nonetheless.

“I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you for a while now that I need to take some time off from school. A semester. I won’t be back after winter break.”

“Oh.” She didn’t know what to say. Part of her was sad, Shae was still her friend after all. Part of her was relieved, needing a reprieve from the constant stress of uncertainty. Mostly, she was concerned. “Will you be back next fall?”

There was a beat of silence. Long enough for her to question if an answer would come. But eventually it did. “I hope so.”

“I hope so too.”

“Thanks.”

The weather was becoming too much to justify wandering aimlessly for much longer and thankfully when the path to the student center crossed theirs, they both turned onto it.

“I know you probably have about a million questions and I want to answer them for you, but I can’t.”

“Shae,” Nicole gently took hold of the other woman’s arm, stopping them so they could face each other. “You don’t owe me anything okay. You don’t have to tell me what is going on. I just want you to be okay. Just promise me you will tell someone.”

The brunette smiled and nodded. They both turned back towards their path. “My family knows some. I’ll have to tell them the rest.”

Nicole reached the entrance first and held the door open. “Okay. That’s all I can ask.”

It was blissfully warm inside and they both took a moment to shake of the frozen beads and wipe their boots before fully entering. 

Nicole wandered off to get a coffee and pastry while Shae went the other way to get a late dinner. It should reassure her that her roommate had a plan, some support, for whatever it was, but she still felt uneasy. She sat down at a table after paying and waited on her friend. From an outsider’s perspective, everything about Shae seemed natural, normal, nothing to worry about. But obviously, something was lurking.

She felt a buzz from inside her pocket and mindlessly pulled the device out.

Waverly: Just finished up with Wynonna.

She looked up to see Shae still waiting on her food to come out. There was time to text a bit.

Nicole: How did it go?

Waverly: Really well actually.  
Waverly: Any chance you want to meet up?

“Ready to go?”

Nicole glanced back up and found Shae standing in front of her holding a take-out container and cup of coffee. She’d love to tell her to go ahead, that she needed to meet up with someone, but there was no way she could bail knowing Shae wasn’t in a good place, whatever that place was.

“Sure, let me just send this text first and then we can head out.”

Shae sat down and sipped from her coffee. She was smirking at her, saying something without actually saying it, but Nicole couldn’t quiet read her.

“Is that Waverly?”

“Uh yeah. She was just checking in after meeting up with her sister.”

Shae nodded and sipped more from the cup. “Didn’t you have plans to meet with her tonight?”

She had completely forgotten the other woman had been present for their facetime call earlier. “I did, but it’s okay. We can meet up later.”

“Nicole.” Their eyes met and this time she read the brunette clearly. Shae wasn’t going to let her change her plans for her. “Go.”

“It’s okay, really. Its late and the plans weren’t totally set anyways and…”

Shae stood up and gathered her things, giving her a look that clearly said she wasn’t about to accept any sort of debate.

“I know, but still. I have a lot of studying to do, and you’re always such a distraction anyways.” As If to seal it in, Shae shot her a wink.

It was a hint at flirting, any under different circumstances, she might be annoyed, but she took it for what it was. A silent nod at Nicole’s concerns and an acknowledgement that she would be okay without her.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly felt more alive than she had in ages. Her sister was back in her life. She had plans to spend the holidays with her at home. They were working steadily through their issues. Wynonna promised she would stick around this time. School was on an upswing and she had real hopes that she would be able to pull it all together before finals. And Nicole. They seemed good. Really good. 

Maybe it was time. 

She had pushed it off for so long, and while she wished so often that she could run to Nicole for everything, that they could be together, she knew she was right to wait. What they were building was going to be big, she felt it tugging at her every fiber, and you don’t rush something like that.

That wasn’t to say they had to decide tonight. It had been a long day, and a big day in its own respect. She’d let the night pass normally this time, settle herself and her mind to be sure. The last thing she wanted was to commit to Nicole only to realize they still weren’t past their own problems.

Chrissy had gone downstairs to let Nicole in. She offered for the three of them to hang out, but the blonde had given her a wink and a pat on the ass and promised Waverly she wouldn’t be back until morning. She was starting to wonder if Chrissy was actually trying to get her laid.

Nicole knocked softly on her door, despite it being propped open. Waverly considered just telling her to come in, but she decided to get the door herself.

Nicole stood just on the other side of the threshold, cup of tea in one hand and small bag in the other. “I was getting a snack when you texted so I thought maybe you’d like one too.”

She was always so sweet and thoughtful, and Waverly just couldn’t stand not having her in her arms any longer. Without allowing Nicole to so much as step through the door, she pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I’d return the hug, but my hands are full.” Nicole laughed into her hair.

Waverly released the taller woman and accepted her offerings. Not wanting to prolong their hug any longer, she opted to set everything on her desk, turning to find Nicole had let herself in and closed the door.

“So, about that hug.” 

Nicole smiled brightly at her and opened her arms wide for Waverly to step into.

It felt so familiar and yet it was new in some form. It took a moment but it finally settled on her that she felt like it was the first time she was free to really feel it for everything it was. If she was looking for signs that they were ready for each other, this would certainly fit the bill.

After a solid two minutes just resting in their shared space, Nicole slowly freed the smaller woman and stepped back just a hair. She was still smiling widely, but there was a flicker of untapped emotion behind those russet eyes. Waverly couldn’t help but wonder if Nicole sensed it too, the timing, the readiness.

“Shall we sit and then you can tell me everything about your day?”

Waverly let Nicole pick their arrangements and happily joined her on her bed, making a quick stop to pick up her tea and pastry. She hadn’t originally noticed but looking closer at it now she recognized it to be the only vegan pastry the on-campus café offered. Of course, she would think of that.

She allowed herself one satisfying bite before delving into everything.

The past 24 hours had been so extraordinary that to her it felt like a week, a slightly hazy one at that. Everything had been changing so fast that one emotion or one memory was threatening to blend into another. Having Nicole there to listen, to allow her to process and bring everything to life was exactly what she needed to clear up the tangled web.

It took the better part of an hour for her to share, stopping from time to time for questions or remarks from her friend. There were still a few things sat back in the recesses of her mind that she needed to ask the redhead though.

“So, did you know she is with Dolls? Or maybe not with, but sleeping with him?”

Nicole looked surprised. “Honestly, yeah. Sure, there has always been this tension there, but I got the impression that there wasn’t going to be anything between them. It must be new.”

“That is the sense I got. Why do you say you didn’t think it would happen?”

“Dolls had long had a thing for her. He made it pretty clear that she had squashed any hope of a ‘them’.” She bit her bottom lip in thought for a moment before continuing. “I hope whatever it is between them, they are both on the same page.”

“Hmm. Yeah, I mean, I don’t really know him that well, but he seems kind.”

“He is.”

She nodded quietly, letting the topic slide away. Nicole had other thoughts though.

“How did you find out they were a thing? Wynonna doesn’t really seem like the girl talk type.”

Waverly busied herself with the rest of her pastry, trying to think of something else to start in on when she finished. Nicole saw right through it though, eyeing her curiously. 

“Please tell me you didn’t catch them!” Nicole looked horrified. Probably not as horrified as Waverly felt realizing she wasn’t going to get away without telling her.

She took one long draw from her tea as a bit of a calming agent. “Uh, no. It’s a bit of a story, but basically I she left her dildo sitting in a sink of dirty dishes, which I saw, and then she said she had another that was in his bathroom, I asked why, she said because she last used it with him.” She took a shuddering breath in, having not stopped for a breath during the explanation.

“Wait. Hard stop. She fucked him with it and TOLD you about it?!”

“What? NO!” Oh god, it had gotten worse. “No, he used it on her, or something to that effect. I don’t know. I don’t really want to know.”

Awkward. So fucking awkward.

“Bypassing that for now, did you say she left the other one in a sink of dirty dishes?”

Whoops, shouldn’t have mentioned that part. Still getting worse of course.

“Yeah…. She said you told her to wash her toys in the dishwasher?”

Nicole rolled her eyes so hard Waverly was afraid they would suffer permanent damage. “Jesus Christ Wynonna.” 

The redhead shook her head, palm covering her face. Waverly waited to see if she’d say anything more but Nicole just started laughing. “I told her she could wash certain toys in the dishwasher. I didn’t think she would pile it in with all her dirty dishes.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether to believe that you had that conversation or not.”

Nicole drew her palm away and looked over to Waverly, still laughing slightly. “No, we did, but obviously she didn’t listen. Typical.”

Waverly picked at her blankets, trying to keep herself from the next question on her mind. Unsurprisingly, that didn’t work.

“So, how did you know that? About the dishwasher thing?”

She knew it was beyond transparent, and based off the smirk on Nicole’s face, she did too.

“Good toys aren’t cheap. You got to know how to care for them.”

They stared at each other, Waverly silently begging Nicole to continue without prompting, Nicole holding out until Waverly caved and asked. Nicole won.

“So… uh, you… you have some then?”

“I do.”

Fuck fuck fuck. Was that the answer she wanted? Yes. Wait, no. No? Okay, so maybe yes.

Nicole eventually took pity on her and continued. “I have a couple actually. I take it you don’t?”

Waverly couldn’t bring herself to answer, setting on shaking her head instead.

“You seem a little surprised.”

Was she? She didn’t think she was. Maybe just a little bit. “No, I guess I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront and honest about it.”

“Waves?” Nicole’s voice was gentle, and she couldn’t not look up at her. There was nothing but reassurance looking back down. “I’d tell you anything. Especially about that, given…” For the first time in the conversation, she looked a little lost for words, but the sentiment was clear nevertheless: given they both expected to be together at some point. 

She reached over and took the other woman’s hand in hers, running soft circles over her knuckles. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

Nicole gave her a questioning look. “About my sex toys?”

“What!? No, sorry. Shitballs. I meant about us.”

“Oh, that makes more sense. Although, you can ask whatever you want about either.”

Feeling a little more at ease with the topic, she chose a hint of a flirty wink before smiling it off and turning to the more serious topic. “I, uh, I don’t know if you still have any interest in us dating, or being girlfriends, well, I guess I do actually based on what we were just saying, but I don’t like to presume, because of course if you don’t that is okay to, you don’t…”

“Waves. Slow down sweetie.” The table had turned and now Nicole was the one soothing her with delicate circles around her palm. “I’m not running away, okay.”

“Okay.” She took a breath in. “What I meant was that I still want a relationship with you and I know I said I needed to sort through some things but I think…”

Nicole’s phone buzzed from her back pocket, causing Waverly to pause momentarily. The redhead brushed it off and encouraged her to continue.

“I, uh, I think that with school back on track and Wynonna…”

The buzzing returned. This time Nicole pulled the phone out to refuse the call, noting it was ‘just Wynonna’ and she would call her back later. The phone had barely hit the bedding before it rung again.

Nicole apologized and refused the call again, quickly adding out a text to say she was busy. The phone returned to its spot on the blanket and its owner’s attention returned to Waverly.

“Um, where was I?”

Nicole smiled and nodded towards her phone as a reminder.

“Right, Wynonna.” They both chuckled. “So, anyways, with Wynonna and I talking again and…”

A series of chirps sounded, drawing their attention again to Nicole’s phone and the slew of texts coming in from Wynonna. Before she could check the contents, Waverly’s phone began to skitter across her desk. It came as no surprise that the caller ID showed a freshly taken photo of Wynonna’s face.

They shared a worried look as Waverly rushed to snatch up her phone and answer the call.

“Wynonna?”

“Oh, thank fuck babygirl.” Something was very wrong. It sounded like Wynonna was sobbing. “Is Nicole with you.”

Waverly could see alarm bells going off in her friend’s head, eyes wide, mouth parting in concern. Weeks ago, after the whole fiasco at the club, Nicole had told her that since meeting, Wynonna almost never called her by her name. That was usually reserved for when she really needed her attention. 

“Yeah. Wy, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt? In trouble.”

There was no response, just the sound of muffled crying.

“Wynonna, please, talk to me.”

“Can you give her the phone?”

She wanted to say no, to demand that her sister tell her what was going on. They were family, and they were finally talking again. Why couldn’t she confide in her? But now wasn’t the time. So, dutifully, she handed the phone over to a few confused and worried Nicole.

“Wynonna? What’s…”

Nicole paused, listening. Waverly couldn’t tell what her sister was saying, and Nicole’s face gave nothing away. So, she forced herself to sit and wait.

Finally, Nicole nodded to herself, eyes glazed over, hands shaking slightly. “Okay. Okay, we will be right there. Don’t go anywhere okay? Promise me Earp. Please.”

Nicole listened to the response and then hung up, phone slipping out of her grip, eyes staring holes into the bed.

“Nicole?”

Red eyes met hers and she realized the girl was crying.

“Nicole, baby, what happened?”

“Dolls.” Tears fell down her checks as her voice cracked trying to get through the words. “He’s dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might take me a bit longer than the last few have. Given the content it will deal with, I don't want to rush. I also will be starting my spring semester on Monday, so its going to be busssyyy! Wish me luck, or send an hitman, either will do.


	15. The Death of Xavier Dolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, Titus would grow  
> Taller and strong as an oak  
> Rainwater stuck in his head  
> It filled him with words left unsaid  
> Of all the things he might be  
> Drifting at sea  
> At night he would dream  
> Of all stumps at bay  
> To wash the pain away  
> Rain's falling  
> Falling on you
> 
> -Titus Was Born // Young the Giant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....oops. I kinda, sorta, didn't do the thing, because of all the other things, that I did do... like life and school and whatnot. So please take pity on me and maybe don't threaten to sacrifice me to some deity or anything of the sort. I hear goats are a nice option, but I also kinda like those, so maybe just no sacrifices? Okay, thanks, good talk friends.

The drive to the house was silent. Not mostly quiet with a few words here or there. Not a hint of nonverbal communication. Not even a gentle touch. It was physically and metaphorically silent. 

There had been a very quick debate about who would drive. Nicole had wasted no time snatching up her keys, but Waverly was worried. She barely knew Dolls, but he had been a part of Nicole’s life for a while, and while Waverly couldn’t quite nail down how close they were, she knew it was close enough to pull the taller woman’s attention away. She shouldn’t be driving. The brunette made her case, begging to drive for safety’s sake but Nicole paused and softened long enough to promise she was okay. Besides she knew the way ten times over and it would be easier and quicker if she drove. Waverly gave in. She trusted Nicole’s judgement, but she still worried. The last thing anyone needed was a car accident due to a distracted driver.

But Nicole kept her word, heeding every traffic signal and sign, driving just a hair over the speed limit. She was cautious and Waverly was grateful for that. And yet she was still unsettled. Because of that silence. It crept in and burrowed deep past her skin and tissue, right down to the marrow of her bones. Nicole had walked through the door labeled “No Waverlys Allowed!” and shut it behind her. Tight.

She knew she should let her process, if that was possible. Even from the outside, it was hard to grasp. It had been a while since she had been affected by death and it always slammed into her in waves of reality and disillusionment and Waverly found you never really got used to it. Just how unreal it felt until it didn’t.

They turned into a driveway, silence thickening the air even now. Nicole parked and removed the key but made no move to unbuckle her seatbelt. Waverly wasn’t sure if she should open her door, maybe give the other woman a moment alone. But what if that wasn’t what she wanted. Surely she’d ask if she did, right? 

So she sat and picked at her nails, arguing with herself about the best option. She had half a mind to outright ask what it was the redhead needed, but just as the words were forming, Nicole took a deep breath in, rubbed her hands across her face once, and got out of the car.

She followed the taller woman up to the door. Under any other circumstances, it would be nice to be back here. Like the visit before but less stressful. Obviously stressful was just an edge to the emotions furling around them tonight.

Nicole didn’t knock. Waverly figured given the situation, politeness wasn’t exactly at the forefront of anyone’s priorities. 

The house was nearly as quiet as the drive. Everything was dark save for a light drifting in from a back room. She wondered why Wynonna hadn’t turned any lights on knowing they would be coming over but then she felt stupid for thinking of something as insignificant as that.

Nicole wasted no time walking down the dimly lit hallway towards the source of the sole light, but three steps in Waverly froze. Was he here? In one of these rooms? In that room? Wouldn’t there be cops here? Or paramedics? Someone? Should they even be here…

A sound broke her from her thoughts, and with it her panic slid away. If it had happened here, whatever it was, they wouldn’t be allowed in yet, or at least there would be someone here dealing with things. Unless Wynonna didn’t call the police yet. But even she wasn’t that careless.

Waverly followed Nicole’s path from a moment before and quickly found herself in a bedroom. Wynonna’s by every indication. Her sister sat slumped against a wall, looking like she had just lived through a thirty-year war. She’d only ever seen her this broken once before and that had been under even more extreme circumstances. Despite her lack of insight, Waverly knew that whatever had happened could never touch that night.

Nicole was hunched over in front of the shattered Earp, softly trying to pry a bottle of whiskey from Wynonna’s shaking hands. Neither seemed to have too much a will one way or another and the matter seemed to resolve itself with another drink from the one and a follow-up drink from the other. The bottle was recapped and rolled off and out of sight. It was probably for the best.

Nicole finally slumped down right where she had been crouched. Waverly watched as Wynonna’s hand dragged themselves off her knees, reaching out for the woman before her. Nicole met her in the middle and their hands tangled together. It was as much a beautiful moment as it was sad and Waverly found herself struggling to keep her emotions in check. It shook her to see these two unstoppable women, strong, independent, unbreakable women, huddled in a contorted ball on a dirty floor, unable to say so much as a word, but there for each other nonetheless. She wasn’t sure she had ever had so much love in her heart for either of them as she did now.

It was another five minutes before Waverly pulled herself away from the door frame and joined the pair amongst Wynonna’s mess. She wasn’t sure if she was intruding but she couldn’t hover anymore. It felt worse to just watch and she couldn’t bring herself to walk away.

Nicole, noting her presence, lifted her head off her knees just enough to turn it towards her. Those beautiful and loving doe eyes were bloodshot and swimming in unshed tears. Without thinking, Waverly found herself reaching out to wipe at the streaks running down her check, stopping from time to time to caress her face. Nicole’s eyes closed softly, taking a shuddering breath in. Waverly buried herself in the moment, running the pad of her thumb against that soft skin, hoping to instill any tiny bit of comfort she could in the moment.

One of Wynonna’s hands slipped free of Nicole’s and reached out for her sister. Waverly took the hint and scooted in closer until she could rest her head on against her sister’s, but not too far from Nicole to leave her without her touch. 

This was everything she had been wanting for so long. Her sister back in her life, present and willing to try, wanting to be significant to each other again. And Nicole, the woman who had stolen her heart, opening up and letting her in, letting her be there, needing her. It was everything she had been dying to have and despite the horrible circumstances, Waverly couldn’t help but let herself be grateful for the moment. She’d feel guilty in a few minutes, but for now she just accepted it.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nicole wiped at her eyes for the millionth time, trying her best not to let her tears drip into the eggs. Food seemed like a good idea when she suggested it, but the second she poured the scrambled eggs into the pan, she felt nauseated. It was silly, when you thought about it, eating. You just go about life, and every so often throughout the day you’d just put things inside your head and mash it up and it would be absorbed and transformed into energy, and you’d just keep doing this until one day you don’t anymore, because you died. Life was really fucking weird, everything about it. Sleep, food, water, sex, emotions, society. All of it, weird. The only thing that seemed natural was death and yet here she was, completely fucked up about it.

Another tear slid down her cheek and threatened to drip. She turned her head and wiped it off on the soft cotton of her hoodie. Clothes. Another weird thing.

She had to stop thinking about this.

Waverly slid up next to her with three plates. She put two on the counter for Nicole and set the other one aside for the peanut butter sandwich she was intent on making for herself. Nicole had offered to cook something vegan for the three of them, but Waverly told her to go ahead with scrambled eggs. If she knew her sister, she likely hadn’t had anything of substance in ages and there was no way she was touching vegan food, no matter how good it may be. So, she made eggs.

Nicole turned off the burner and tipped the eggs out onto the plates. She set them down at the table, taking the seat closest to Waverly. Wynonna was still in the bathroom, showering. She was supposed to go down to the station and formally ID Dolls. Nicole had offered to go, seeing how much it was tearing the older Earp up, but Wynonna was stubborn. She was going. Nicole could come along, but she was going to go, end of discussion. 

Waverly had been the one to talk her sister into showering. Another thing Nicole obsessed over as being weird, if only for a moment. Everything felt so stupid and pointless, but she saw it for what it was. Waverly was trying to give Wynonna a moment to herself. To help her clear her head enough to get through this horrible task. Nicole knew this but it still felt weird.

She pushed her eggs around, eating the smallest pieces she could find so it looked like she was doing something. Waverly had fared a little better, half her sandwich gone, the other half left untouched. It was something though. Her fork speared a bigger piece and she dragged it up to her mouth before a squall erupted in her gut in protest, forcing her to give in and set it back down. 

“It’s okay if you can’t eat.”

Nicole looked up and let her eyes settle on Waverly’s. She felt bad. Waverly had been amazing and she had been so inside herself, or focused on Wynonna’s mental state that she had barely acknowledged the younger Earp. She couldn’t imagine how strange this must all be for her, as an almost outsider. Waverly had barely had any time to reconnect with her sister and suddenly she was shoved into all of this. But she was here, and she was trying, for both of them, and Nicole felt it, really felt it in her heart how much that mattered.

“I know. I don’t know why I bothered.” She gently pushed the plate forward before thinking better of it and scraping her eggs onto Wynonna’s plate. Maybe she would eat them.

“Because of Wynonna.” That was true. “And maybe just to give yourself a moment too, something to do.” Oh. She hadn’t thought about it that way, but she suspected that part was also true.

“Thanks.” She wanted to say a lot more. Thanks for coming with me. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for being you.

It got quiet again and Nicole realized the shower had turned off. Wynonna would be getting out to get dressed now and soon they would be leaving. She wasn’t ready.

“Waves?”

“Yeah?”

She opened her mouth but only a squeak came out. Tears. Again. She was crying and she hadn’t even noticed when it started. Tears were weird too. Waverly waited patiently, one hand rubbing at the skin on the inside of her wrist softly.

“I need you.”

“What do you need baby?”

“I don’t know.” Part of her did though but she couldn’t quite vocalize it. What she wanted was for this to all fade away but that was impossible, so instead she needed Waverly to hold her.

“That’s okay.” The fingers on her wrist slid up until they melded with her own. “You don’t have to know. But I’m here for whatever it is when you do.”

The bathroom door opened and they listened for a moment as Wynonna walked down to her room, pausing their conversation until they were alone again.

“Can you, um, can you sit with me for a moment?” Waverly nodded but looked unsure. They were already sitting together. Nicole felt her cheeks redden as she realized she would have to clarify. “Um, can you, uh, can you sit here? With me?” She scooted her chair back as she asked, making a space for Waverly.

Clarity shone through in the brunette’s eyes and Nicole was relieved to see only a soothing smile given in response. Waverly rose from her own chair and took her spot on Nicole’s lap, instantly wrapping her arms tightly around her, tucking her head into her throat with a gentle hand.

Nicole let her eyes close as she too wrapped herself around Waverly, burying her head in further, not bothering to stem the flow of tears. For the first time that night she cried not because her heart was hurting but because she felt safe and cared for and loved. What that love entailed wasn’t important at the moment, but she could feel Waverly’s love pouring over her sobbing frame.

Waverly soothed her back with slow, heavy strokes, her other hand busy running gentle fingers across her scalp. She could almost fall asleep like this. They stayed tucked into each other for another moment but Nicole knew Wynonna wouldn’t be much longer now. She pulled back, but not completely. She wasn’t quite ready. 

Hazel eyes met brown, locking for a second before they both leaned in. The kiss was the so soft it could have almost not been there at all. There was a second though, still soft, but a little more present. Had it not been for that one, Nicole might not have believed the first. Waverly pulled her lips away and gently rested their foreheads together. It was one last gathering of strength before they faced the rest of the night.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Waverly waited anxiously outside the morgue. She had wanted to go in with them, knowing how much this was going to hurt them both, but she had been turned away. Technically, Nicole wasn’t supposed to be let in either, but Wynonna had broken down in the hallway and they had taken pity and let her bring someone in. It went unspoken that it would be Nicole. 

She thought it would have been quick but the past ten minutes had felt like an hour. 

Finally, the pair emerged, both looking worse off than when they had entered. There was a quick a moment where Nicole was asked to wait while Wynonna left with a haggard looking older woman to go sign some form or something of the sort.

Nicole joined Waverly on the cracked plastic bench and wiped at her eyes. “God, Waves… he just. I mean I knew, but I guess I didn’t really know.”

Waverly knew that feeling. That moment where any little sliver of doubt is finally pulled free and you’re left with an open wound and the pain of just knowing. “Yeah.” She should say something else. What do you say to that?

Nicole however didn’t seem to notice Waverly’s ineptitude. “He looks different. But also not. Like, sure I’ve seen him when he’s been going through some shit, but he just looked so unlike himself, so defeated.” There was a pause as Nicole shook her head. “I guess that is the point though… he is.”

Waverly opted to stay quiet this time, offering a hand to Nicole instead. There were a few false starts, Nicole clearly battling within herself for words, but before anything else made its way out, Wynonna returned.

The ride back to the house was unsurprisingly, silent. Again. Waverly was starting to think she might lose her mind in all of it. There was something so unbearably loud about silence. And this silence was screaming at her. She couldn’t begin to imagine how loud it was for the other two.

When Nicole pulled into the driveway for the second time that night, she sat momentarily in her seat, mimicking her earlier actions. Unlike the first time, she didn’t lead Waverly inside, but excused herself saying she needed some fresh air. Waverly wanted to go with her, but she could see it in the look she was given that this was a desperate plea for time.

Wynonna seemed unfazed by the dwindling of their group, hastily stumbling into the kitchen for alcohol. Waverly wasn’t sure if she should let her, or try to get her to go for something, anything, else. Earps were known for their ability to handle drink, but Wynonna’s mental state wasn’t exactly the poster child for stable, and those two things didn’t really mix. But at the end of the day, Waverly was still an Earp, and Earps drank.

By the time Nicole returned half an hour later, Wynonna had locked and barricaded herself inside Dolls’ bedroom. Waverly had to admit that maybe the whiskey route hadn’t been wise after all. She wasn’t exactly sober enough to admit it immediately though, opting to ‘problem solve’ instead by unsuccessfully trying to break the door down.

With a loving voice but unwavering hand, Nicole guided her into Wynonna’s room and sat her down on the bed and left to dig around the hallway closet for tools. What Waverly had been unable to manage in the past twenty or so minutes of effort, Nicole managed in two with a screwdriver and hammer. The door was set aside in the hallway and Wynonna was carried into her room, crying even in sleep, by Nicole. 

Waverly stepped aside as her sister was tucked into her bed, feeling strangely jealous at the connection between the two before her. She shook it off and told herself to be thankful. Wynonna had been through enough in her life to deserve all the love she could get, and Nicole wasn’t exactly without merit herself. Their place in each other’s lives didn’t mean she didn’t belong there too.

Nicole shut the door behind them, one hand holding lightly onto Waverly’s as they wandered into the living room and then onto the couch. Waverly could feel exhaustion seeping in and knew Nicole had to be at the end of her reserves.

“Why don’t you take my car and head back to campus? I think I’m going to stay here with her for tonight. I don’t think it would be a good idea to leave her alone. Especially here.”

“Nicole, I’m not leaving either of you. I’m staying too.”

She saw the relief looking back at her. “Okay.” Nicole nodded once before standing to go digging though the closet, coming back with a pile of blankets and a single pillow. “Do you want the couch?”

Waverly took one look at the crappy couch, already uncomfortable and she had been sitting on it for hardly three minutes. “Honestly? Not really.”

Nicole snorted out a laugh, shocking both of them. “Sorry. I know I probably shouldn’t be laughing right now but that couch is truly the worst.”

Waverly, so damn thankful to see Nicole coming back to herself, if even for a moment, cracked a smile, a small chuckle following. “I can’t disagree with that.”

“God, I remember when I first came over…” Nicole set the bedding down and walked over to the edge, picking mindlessly at a rip in the fabric. “Doc told me he pulled this thing out of the ‘tiny tool house’ down the street. Turned out ‘tiny tool house’ meant shed and ‘pulled this thing out’ meant stole it from the neighbor four doors down. I was horrified but Dolls told me later her went and left them a note and fifty bucks. No one ever said anything. Probably grateful they got rid of this hideous thing and made 50 dollars in one go.”

There was a flash of sadness on Nicole’s lips, but it fell away, leaving behind a nearly imperceptible hint of a smile. Waverly wished she had gotten the chance to get to know Dolls. Obviously, he had left a mark not only on her sister but on Nicole.

In the end, neither woman took the couch, choosing instead to make a bed out of the pile of blankets. One cushion did migrate down as a makeshift pillow though. It took all of Waverly’s persuasive abilities to get Nicole to agree to taking the pillow over the cushion.

It was the first time they had sleep side by side and not cuddled. It felt weird but Nicole had asked apologetically, and Waverly had of course said yes. She didn’t really understand it. A few hours earlier they had been pretzeled together in the kitchen, but she wasn’t about to look at it too closely. Grief affected everyone differently and was the least consistent thing she had ever known. If Nicole wanted some physical space, then that is what she would give.

\----- ----- ------ ------ -----

Nicole woke to the smell of coffee and weed. The first she would happily welcome, the second, well that was up in the air. Wynonna was in the garage, door slightly ajar, explaining the smell wafting into the rest of the house. Nicole made a pit stop in the kitchen to get herself a big mug before joining the other woman.

Wynonna looked over her shoulder as Nicole entered. “I know you are a narc and all, but could you maybe let this one slide?” She turned her back towards the other side of the garage before pulling heavily from the joint.

“How about we just count this as a narc-free day?” She pulled up her own freezing cold folding chair and sat down. Wynonna went to take another hit but Nicole intervened, taking it into her own hand and bringing it to her lips. Wynonna eyed her but sat quietly as Nicole inhaled.

She could feel it burn, reminding her of what it was like when she first started smoking cigarettes as a teenager. It was meant to be an act of rebellion, but her parents were too inattentive to really even notice. She blew the smoke out before taking another draw, finally handing it back over. Given her desired profession, she wasn’t one to imbibe, but she just didn’t care enough today.

“I got a call this morning, earlier. You two were still asleep. Obviously.”

Nicole turned to face the older Earp better. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” Wynonna took another deep drag before setting the joint down in a little dish. “The cops called to say they aren’t pursuing an investigation. Asked if we wanted to come collect his affects and arrange for his remains.”

Fuucck. That wasn’t really where she thought this was going, though she couldn’t really justify why that was. “Shouldn’t that be his family’s decision?”

“That’s what I thought but I guess he doesn’t really have anyone left. He never really talked about anyone but I just figured…”

“Yeah.” Did Wynonna not know his past? She would have thought, but then again… “Did they tell you what happened?”

Wynonna was quiet for a long time. She looked like she was struggling to work out if she should say anything or not. After what felt like an eternity she finally nodded to herself and looked her straight on. “It was uh, it was an overdose.”

Nicole let her head fall into her hands. Of course. She should have KNOWN. 

“Why don’t you look surprised?”

“Dolls, he uh, he had some stuff he was struggling with.” She could feel daggers boring into her. “He had a friend, Jeremy, that helped him when things got bad. Kept him from slipping.”

“Why am I only just hearing about this?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t my place to tell.” Maybe she should have said something? “I just found out not that long ago.” If she had would he still be alive? “He called me one night, wasn’t in a good place. I was kind of filling in I guess.”

“So then where the hell was this Jeremy kid last night?” Wynonna was fuming and it was starting to scare Nicole. This was not how this should be going. “I asked you a fucking question Nicole.”

“Jesus Wynonna, I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t call. It could be a million reasons.”

Waverly stumbled into the garage, looking nervous. “What’s going on?”

Wynonna kept her mouth shut but her eyes said more than enough for Nicole’s liking. “Nothing Waves. Everything is okay.”

“Nothing is okay asshole.” Wynonna shot up out of her chair, slamming the garage door behind her.

Waverly gave Nicole a questioning look but she just shook her head in response. “I think I should probably go.”

She stood and followed Wynonna, but turned right towards the kitchen instead of left towards the bedrooms where she knew the other woman would be. She quickly gathered her things and snatched her car keys off the counter before pausing. “Fuck.”

“Nicole?”

“I can’t drive.” She tossed the keys back down, trying to keep herself from crying or yelling, or anything really.

“I don’t understand.” Waverly gently ran a hand down the length of Nicole’s forearm. “Do you need me to take you back to your dorm?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

Waverly let Nicole gather herself and her belongings again as she went to say goodbye to her sister, promising to check in on her later that day. Nicole waited in the car. 

“What happened?”

Nicole let her head fall back against the headrest. What did happen? Everything was okay, well, relatively, and then it wasn’t. Maybe she deserved it.

“Wynonna told me Dolls’ death was an overdose.”

“Oh.”

Nicole pressed her forehead into the cold glass. “I told her he had some trouble in the past with that sort of thing and there was a friend that usually helped him.”

“But why was she mad?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that nobody told her. Maybe that he didn’t. Maybe that Jeremy couldn’t save him this time… maybe just that he wasn’t without his own imperfections.” Maybe that she could have possibly prevented it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

It got quiet again but she didn’t care enough to make an effort to change that. Waverly didn’t seem too bothered either, and so the rest of the drive back to campus followed in much the same manner.

Waverly had left her alone after heavy persuasion. The brunette had seemed uncomfortable at the prospect, but Nicole just needed some time. She was hurting due to Dolls’ death, upset with Wynonna for getting mad, guilty for not taking more preventative actions to keep something like this from even happening… It was a lot of emotions for someone who had little to no abilities to process her emotions currently.

She had all but worked herself into a rapid downward spiral by the time repetitive knocks sounded against her door. Visitors was the last thing she could handle, but whoever it was, they were persistant. After four rounds, she lost her patience and dragged herself out of bed to confront the asshole on the other side of the door.

She had been ready for a number of people, but certainly not a haggard looking Wynonna.

“Hey dude.”

Nicole was stunned. Why was she here?

“Uh, can I come in?”

“Oh, um, sure.” She opened the door wider and stepped aside to let her guest in.

“So, uh, first of all, sorry about earlier.” Wynonna pulled the desk chair out and dropped herself heavily into it. “Second, I was hoping we could talk… about Dolls.”


	16. Finals, Farewells, and Frisky Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions from a different state of mind  
> Crept out back and left me wanting more
> 
> -Winter \\\ Kloudink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shitballs! I never thought the day would come where I manage an update with this short of a turnaround mid-semester, but here we all. What can I say, seeing all my fellow Earpers fighting for Kat's win for the CSAs was motivating. Insert shameless plug here about voting your asses off for our beloved Sheriff.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy the update. It shouldn't be quite as sad as the last, so there is that.

In the end, it hadn’t been all that hard to convince Nicole to go home with the Earps for the holidays. Despite her reservations about butting into family reunions and personal moments, she would be lying if she said she hadn’t desperately hoped for a break spent with people she cared about and not stuck alone on campus for a month like every other year. But, despite her yearning for connection over Christmas, she would have let her stubbornness win out if it hadn’t been for the death of Dolls.

It had been a couple weeks, but it still didn’t quite feel like reality. Sure, there were flashes of grief, struggles to accept, but mostly, she had felt numb, lost, a little disconnected. One more reason spending some time outside of the company of herself and her studies would be good for her. 

The night Wynonna came over they talked, like really, truly dug in emotionally more than she could have ever hoped for with someone as guarded as Wynonna. But since then, the two had taken to the comfort of their own, separate lives. Even with Waverly there had been this distance. Sure, Nicole had brought it about, at least regarding the younger Earp, who had tried mightily to offer her some form of companionship. She just couldn’t let herself feel.

So, Nicole used the looming finals as a cover, spending every free second either stuffed up in some study room in the library, or barricaded in her room surrounded by notes and half-finished assignments. Waverly had finally taken the hint and set to her own studies, dropping food off for Nicole at regular intervals with little notes reminding her she was there when she needed, but not pushing. Wynonna, without school to distract her, had taken up every shift she could at the bar, including most of Nicole’s.

But it was the last day of finals, and Nicole had already taken her last the afternoon before, leaving her for the first time without her crutch and forcing her to confront her emotions. She tried to busy herself with packing, hoping to drum up some of that lingering excitement for their trip. It felt selfish though, to enjoy things when their friend’s ashes sat a few miles away on a kitchen table surrounded by Wynonna’s depressive clutter.

And yet, she knew, at her core, that Xavier Dolls was a good man, who, despite his tendency to refrain from over-voicing his emotions, cared. He wouldn’t want to be the reason for so much heartache. He would want them to live their lives.

Nicole stuffed another pair of jeans into her duffle bag and let out a long sigh. She needed to try to be present, to be emotionally available for Wynonna, and to reconnect with Waverly. She only had a few hours until they left and she was determined to be in good spirits by then.

There was no way she alone would be able to pull herself out of her head, so she pushed the bag onto the floor and flopped onto her bed, phone in hand.

Nicole: Hey Waves, have a moment before your last exam to meet up? I’ll meet you wherever is best for you.

Nicole had been glad to be finished early, but Waverly had been unlucky enough to land a final during the last time on the last day. She knew the tiny brunette had been stressing horribly about her grades for a good part of the semester, and was likely overthinking this last test.

Waverly: Oh god, I really wish I did. Is everything okay? Are you okay?

Nicole: I’m okay, I just thought it might be nice to talk before we get stuffed into a car with your sister and Chrissy.  
Nicole: I know you are probably in exam mode though.

Waverly: …

She honestly felt a little stupid for asking to meet up right before her exam. Obviously, Waverly would be busy trying to cram every last little detail in right up until she walked into the classroom.

Waverly: I am.  
Waverly: I’ve missed you though. I do want to talk, I just really need to focus on this material at the moment.

Nicole: Of course! It was silly to ask.

Waverly: It wasn’t. And trust me, I know it’s probably too late to actually learn anything, but if I don’t spend this time studying I’ll just spend it worrying about not studying.

Nicole rolled onto her back, chuckling. She had no doubt that was very much true. 

Nicole: Yeah, I can see that. I’ll let you get back to it then. See you soon?

Waverly: See you soon.

She set her phone down next to her in the bed and closed her eyes. Even though she wasn’t able to see her, she still felt better having even just texted briefly. It would have been nice to talk with her though. There was a lot she needed to say, to get off her chest, not that it would have been the time for that, but still… they could have just been near each other. She craved it.

Her phone buzzed by her hand. She groped around for it, finally bringing it up to see the notification. Waverly had sent her another text.

With a quick swipe of her thumb, Nicole unlocked the phone and found herself the lucky recipient of a selfie from the brunette. The picture was adorable, Waverly looking a little sleep deprived and a lot stressed, but still her ever sweet self, smiling at her. She had added a little caption off to the side: ‘If I can’t be there in person, I thought I could at least be there in spirit’.

Nicole’s felt her lips curve up into a real smile, the first in a while. She couldn’t seem to put the phone down, her eyes repeatedly drawn back into the other girl’s.

Her phone buzzed again as another text came in from the youngest Earp. A second picture by the looks of it. Nicole tapped over to their text thread and opened the image. It was again a selfie, but this time Waverly had abandoned her desk for her bed, books still spread out around her. And though everything she needed to study was obviously there, something felt like that wasn’t what Waverly had been doing.

She zoomed in and noticed for the first time that Waverly’s hair seemed messier, the light seemed off, a cup of tea sat on the cleared off desk just in the upper corner of the image. It finally clicked that the picture wasn’t current, probably from early this morning, especially considering the light and the direction Waverly’s window faced.

A third text came in and Nicole once again tapped over to find it waiting. This time there was no picture but the text obviously was referring to the last one. It seemed to be hinting at something but Nicole was lost... until the next and final text came in.

Waverly: I thought I might send this earlier, right after, but I chickened out. Figured what the hell though so here you are.   
Waverly: I was having a hard time concentrating on cramming, couldn’t stop thinking of you. I have this picture of you from months ago that If found myself staring at and I just got a little lost in it, so I figured I’d take a little break to destress… I thought maybe you could use a little stress relief, so just in case you didn’t have a picture that you like, I sent one from after mine…

Her hands were practically shaking. Surely this implied what she thought it did. Right? I mean, it was hardly subtle. There is no way it could mean anything else. Unless… no, it had to be that. Which of course meant… things. Big things. Heart pounding, palm sweating, butterflies overtaking your stomach, things. 

Should she text back? What do you even say to that? Thanks? That seemed weird. ‘Hey Waverly, thanks for telling me about what I assume was you getting yourself off to the thought of me, and for sending me what I again assume is a picture for me to use for the same, and further for implying your permission for me to think of you while doing said things.’ No, that clearly was off the table. But then what if her replying sent a message all on its own. What if Waverly took it as a sign that she was upset, or disgusted, or anything other than giddy (and majorly turned on if she were being totally honest).

She went back to the picture, still unsure about how to take the whole thing. Now that she had seen the accompanying explanation, Nicole couldn’t help but see clues everywhere. Waverly’s study materials were on her bed, sure, but pushed way off to the side, out of the way. Then of course there was Waverly’s hand, the one not holding the phone. It was out of range of the shot but from the angle it was heading under the covers, Nicole could guess where it rested, and it fell right in line with her suspicions. Then there was her hair, messy undoubtedly, but now it felt telling not of sleep deprivation but of something else.

Nicole reeled it in a bit and forced herself to doubt. There was no way. Right? Right. But as Nicole scanned the image, intent on putting it aside and resuming her packing, one last little detail caught her eye. At the far bottom corner, just barely visible was undeniably Waverly’s yoga pants, the ones she had been wearing in the last selfie, curled into a ball on top of what was likely more study material. 

Fuck.

Nicole’s breathing sped up as she went back to the texts and reread them again. The more she analyzed it all, the more she became absolutely convinced. Waverly had meant exactly what she thought.

All she wanted to do was rush out of her room, track Waverly down, and finally give in to her desires. She wanted her, bad, and this was not helping in the slightest. But Waverly was busy, and they had agreed to wait. Well Nicole had insisted and Waverly had agreed to respect that, but still. 

No sex.

But there were always loopholes, and Waverly had slipped right through one and offered directions to Nicole to do the same. She felt like she shouldn’t. After all, Waverly hadn’t outright said as much, but even that felt flimsy. Nicole had all the permission she needed and her willpower wasn’t strong enough to turn down what had been offered to her.

She settled further into her bed, pulling her covers up and over her. One hand sat on her stomach, phone aimed up at her so she could reread those few lines of text. The other ventured down, slowly sliding under the waistband of the sweatpants she had tossed on earlier. She felt nervous, almost as if Waverly were there with her, watching. But as anxious as she felt, there was just as much excitement.

Maybe this wouldn’t be the last time Waverly offered this to her. Maybe this would become more common.

Her hand slipped lower, finding her well past worked up and ready.

If only Waverly were actually here. It would be beyond sexy. Not quite breaking the rules she set out, but skirting the edge so damn close. Would she be comfortable on display like that? It would be a first for her, having never really gone the voyeurism route with her exes. Shae had hinted at it once, but it didn’t really seem as appealing then as it did now. There was no way she could turn that down if Waverly were to bring it up.

Her head tipped back into the pillow as her heartrate increased further.

What would Waverly say if she sent her own picture? It wasn’t like there was anything exposed, and she had sent one of her own, albeit not during. The thought brought a fresh wave of excitement to the surface and Nicole struggled not to rush. If this was the only time she got to enjoy herself like this, at Waverly’s request, then she was going to relish it.

That turned out to be a bad decision. Because, roommates, as it happens, tend to return to their room.

Nicole nearly broke her face as her phone fell free from her hand, Shae bursting through the door, already ranting about how poorly she swears she did on her last exam. The ranting was nothing out of character, but Nicole’s behavior was, and she had no intention of being caught with her hand down her pants, literally.

Shae, thankfully, was so distracted that she failed to see Nicole clamoring to right herself in bed, or her haphazardly wiping her hand roughly on the side of the pants she would now need to toss in the wash, or the desperate attempt to close her text app and stow her phone.

“Sorry, what was that?” She rubbed at her eye (with her clean hand of course), trying to feign being caught in a nap and not something more personal. “Just woke up.”

“Huh, oh nothing.” Shae waved it off, already falling away from her post-finals panic. “Hey, don’t you have to leave soon?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, but I figured I’d get a quick nap in anyways.” She needed to get up and wash her damn hands, or better yet, finish what she started. “But I should probably get back to packing now anyways.” Because obviously, the other option was out of the question now. She did really need to wash her hands though.

Shae dumped her bag onto the floor and flopped half-on, half-off her bed. “Ugh, same. And I don’t have the luxury of just packing for a trip.”

Nicole had almost forgotten about Shae taking the next semester off. It felt like forever since her ex had brought it up, citing a need to take some time to care for herself, get help with the things she refused to name, not that Nicole was pushing for that information. This would be the last time the saw each other for a while. Shae had mentioned coming back to visit for a weekend sometime, but who knew if she meant it or not.

It was a bittersweet feeling. Despite their breakup, they had remained close. Even with everything that had happened these past few months, Nicole knew herself well enough to know that she would miss Shae. She wouldn’t be upset about having more privacy, not having to worry about the other woman’s residual feelings, or any potential jealousy over her budding relationship with Waverly, but still, she would miss her.

\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“Waverly Pamela Earp, hurry it the fuck up already!”

Wynonna was predictably impatient. It’s not like it was her fault the professor misprinted two whole freakin pages of their final exam and had to go print new copies. What was supposed to be a two and half hour final exam period ended up being three. Which of course brought them all to this moment, with an overly stressed Waverly Earp, an obnoxiously demanding Wynonna Earp, a very amused Chrissy Nedley, and an unusually pensive Nicole Haught who honestly seemed oblivious to the entire debacle.

“You know damn well that isn’t my middle name, Wynonna.”

“Yeah, well, I forgot what it really was seeing as we’ve been waiting here for so fucking long.” 

It had not been that long. They were barely twenty minutes behind schedule and Wynonna was the only one who seemed to care. She honestly wasn’t even sure why she did. The older Earp had all but confessed to being anxious about her reunion with their aunt. You’d think she would be making any excuse she could to delay.

“Wynonna, lay off would you.” Nicole had finally come around, picking up the first full suitcase of Waverly’s and dragging it out of the way to the door.

Wynonna didn’t look all that pleased at being scolded but let the comment slide, opting to sit on Chrissy’s bed, booted feet propped up on bar at the end. At least she was quiet.

“I’m going to go pull the car around if you guys want to start bringing things down while Waverly finishes.” Chrissy said as she snatched her keys off the desk.

“Yeah, Haught-bot, you should probably start lugging all this shit out of here.”

Nicole glared back at Wynonna who had already busied herself picking at her nails. “Oh, and what exactly will you be doing while I do all the work?”

Wynonna looked up and smirked. “Supervising, of course.”

Waverly shoved another bag aside, pulling what the rest of them all really hoped would be the last one in front of her to fill. “How about you get off your ass and help, huh?” Wynonna scoffed in response to her sister but begrudgingly did as she was told, mumbling something about getting her own things out of the truck.

Nicole took the second bag and placed it with the first. She made for her coat, but Waverly incepted her before she got to the door.

“Um, Nicole? Can you wait a sec before you head down?” Waverly was still turned away from her, carefully tucking folded pajamas into the suitcase.

“Oh, um… yeah, of course.” There seemed to be a bit of tension and she intended to get to the bottom of it. “Everything okay?”

The smaller girl finally set her things down and turned to face her friend. “I think so. I was going to ask you though. About being okay I mean. Because like, I really didn’t think it through earlier, with the text, and I should have. I know how you feel about sex outside of commitment, and even though it technically isn’t, sex that is, it technically isn’t sex, it sorta is, you know, and …”

“Woah, Waverly, take a breath.” Nicole nudged Waverly’s suitcase aside just a hair more so she could take its spot by the brunette. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”

“Oh.” Waverly was confused, which seemed to confuse Nicole. Was it totally unclear why she thought something was off? “I guess I just don’t know why you seem upset then. With me. You haven’t really said anything since.”

“Shit, Waves, I’m really sorry. I’m not upset, not even a little. I just…” 

Just what? Just realized she didn’t want this? Was disappointed that Waverly had breached that friend wall they kept knocking at? That she was getting impatient about her desire for the other woman and honestly just wanted them to fuck each other already.

“Shae is leaving, taking the next semester off. I think I’m just nervous because while she says it isn’t anything to worry about, there is something going on. I just worry.”

Oh. Okay, so maybe she had mildly overreacted, and got caught up in her own head. It wasn’t like that was new or anything.

“I know you’ve been worried for a while, about Shae. It seems like she is doing this for a reason though. I think it is important that you trust that.”

“Yeah. I know.” And she knew Nicole did. She did trust it was for the best, yet she could tell there was a but. “But, I just feel like maybe Shae is going through a lot more than she is letting on.”

Waverly scooted in closer, sliding an arm around her shoulder and gently encouraging her into her space. “Maybe, maybe not. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then there must be a reason, right?”

“Yeah.” She sighed heavily. Waverly hoped she would recognize her limitations here. “I am sorry though, about making you worry.”

Waverly swatted playfully at her knee. “Nonsense.”

“Nonsense?”

She swatted again, a little sharper this time. “You know what I mean.” The swatting hand returned to the redhead’s knee, this time to sooth with gentle thumb circles. “I guess part of me was just a little nervous, sending that, you know. I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

Waverly watched as Nicole’s face reddened. “Oh, um, yeah.” So maybe it wasn’t all about Shae. She certainly looked uncomfortable. Maybe she should drop it. That didn’t exactly come natural to her though.

“I’m not really sure what ‘um, yeah’ means. Is that a good thing, or…?”

“Well…” Well good or well bad? She needed to know. “I, uh, I was honestly confused at first. Like, I wasn’t sure that what I thought it meant, actually was what it clearly did mean.”

“Oh.” Had she not been clear enough? Or was Nicole trying to soften a blow. Save her ego?

“But.” Nicole smiled down at her. “But, eventually I just sorta ran out of reasons not to believe it. It was very unexpected.” She took a deep breath in. “But really fucking hot.” Waverly’s hand, still on her knee, was burying it’s nails nervously into her flesh. “I wanted to take your advice, about the stress relief. I actually started to, but then Shae came back and I had to scramble to not look so guilty, and then I had to pack, and, yeah.”

She let out another shaky breath, relieved the other woman had been open, but still nervous.

“So, what you are saying is, you got yourself all worked up with not an ounce of relief?”

Nicole laughed loudly. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Interesting.”

 

Waverly found herself less than comfortable in the back seat. To be fair, it was partially (mostly) her own fault. After all, four people and luggage didn’t leave a lot of space, especially when one of the four goes overboard and singlehandedly takes up the entire cargo space in Chrissy’s tiny SUV. Which is why she found herself stuffed into the middle seat next to an equally uncomfortable looking Nicole with no less than five bags jamming right into her ribcage.

The was one small benefit though, being forced so close to Nicole with Chrissy and Wynonna preoccupied with their eternal debate over radio station, teasing a very tense and worked up Nicole.

“I swear to god you little shit, I don’t care if your dad is the sheriff, I will fucking end you if you switch back to that garbage again.”

Chrissy, not fazed in the least, stared directly over at Wynonna for a little too long for someone who was driving in Waverly’s (and Nicole’s for that matter) opinion, and switched the station back to top 40.

Wynonna’s rage could have melted a damn glacier, but the blonde just turned back to the road with a smile, already humming along to the song.

Waverly drowned them out again and returned her focus to the woman beside her. “So, Nicole…” She made sure to whisper, knowing eventually the bickering would die down. “When you told me earlier about, things, what exactly happened?”

Nicole’s head snapped around so quick Waverly could have sworn she heard her neck crack. “Whaaa..?”

Her hand slid deeper under the blanket she had insisted on bringing for warmth, and busied itself playing with the ring on Nicole’s finger. “Don’t play coy. You know what I’m referring to.”

“You want to talk about this here?” No. She would rather talk about it in private, preferably in a hotel room. One with a giant king sized bed, or one of those equally giant walk-in showers. But a girl’s gotta make due.

Waverly didn’t bother with a response, knowing if she waited her out long enough, the redhead would cave. Sure enough all it took was 30 seconds of silence and a little more suggestive teasing of Nicole’s fingers for her to cave.

“Fine. But you have to get closer, I’m not risking your sister overhearing this. Neither one of us will ever live that down.”

Waverly scooted over, careful not to set off an avalanche of bags in the process. Once she deemed they were close enough, she turned her head expectantly towards the other woman.

“What do you want to know?”

“You know what I want to know.”

Nicole buried her head in her free hand, a very muffled ‘Waverly’ slipping from between her fingers. She righted herself after a moment and looked pleadingly over. “I’m not really sure what you want to hear. Maybe you could ask something specific?”

That seemed fair enough. But what to ask? “Okay, let’s start with an easy one. What gave it away for you finally? You said you struggled to accept the implications, but obviously, you did at some point.”

Nicole looked a little more comfortable with this question. Waverly listened as the other woman detailed her analysis, or ‘detective work’ as Waverly referred to it as. If she knew the picture was going to be scanned that hard, she would have laid out another hint or two for her.

“Okay, next question. What were you thinking when you realized what I meant?”

Still mostly comfortable, but Waverly didn’t miss the slight worrying of Nicole’s bottom lip as she thought. “I guess I was a little surprised.” Well that isn’t what she was hoping for. “But, yeah, I’d be so full of shit if I didn’t say really turned on.” That was better. “And then of course when I started thinking about what you suggested, I, uh…”

A brush of color appeared Nicole’s cheeks. “You…?”

“I really liked the thought of that. Of you wanting me to do that, especially thinking of you.” She opened her mouth a few more times, so Waverly waited it out, eager to hear what else she had to say. “To be honest, I thought about what it would be like to have you there, with me. But just watching.”

Oh, god. That was hot. Like really, really, hot. “And?”

“That’s about where I took you up on your suggestion.”

Okay, this was backfiring a bit. Yeah, she wanted to know, but mostly she had set out to tease Nicole, not herself.

She licked her lips, suddenly feeling like they were drier than a saltine. “What did you do?”

Nicole glanced up at the front seat nervously. “Waves.” She did the same, noting Chrissy and her sister deep in conversation about just how much baby oil it would take to cover Jason Momoa. 

“They’re not listening Nicole.”

“Not here.” She looked over to find begging eyes. “Please. I’ll tell you, just not here.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.”

 

Wynonna make them stop twice times for snacks. The drive didn’t even take two hours, but god forbid she went without caffeine constantly pouring down her throat or processed crap shoveled into her mouth for longer than five minutes. She wanted to be frustrated but her legs were thankful. Less than an hour in, the dreaded ‘bagalanche’ happened, leaving her pinned into Nicole’s side in a less than pleasant way. But despite the nagging of her sister or the cramped back seat, they made it to town safe and with most of their (remaining) sanity intact. 

Christy stopped by Gus’s place so they could drop off their stuff using the key taped to the underside of the porch-swing’s armrest. They make quick work before piling back into a significantly more spacious vehicle and heading into town to meet their aunt at Shorty’s. 

Surprisingly, Wynonna’s nerves regarding her reunion had all but disappeared and she happily followed her sister in to the bar while Nicole waited outside with their friend. She had tried to talk Nicole into coming in with them, but the other girl had insisted it was important that they at least had this moment just for the three of them, and once everyone had settled in with each other, she could be found outside chatting with Chrissy.

For a weekday late afternoon, Shorty’s was understandably sparse. The crowds wouldn’t start piling in for at least another hour, which suited her just fine. Given the current occupancy, Gus sat off to the side of the bar, eying her customers from time to time, checking to see who might be ready for another drink, but otherwise going about her own business. It took all of three seconds before the steadfast Gibson woman spotted her nieces and quickly left her perch to welcome them in.

Waverly had been certain Wynonna’s homecoming would, in fact, be welcome, but it still warmed her heart to see just how happy both her sister and aunt were to see each other again. It had been a lot of years and a lot of angst between the pair, but for now, it all sat aside forgotten as they embraced each other heartily.

Gus gave herself a full minute with Wynonna before pulling Waverly in, whispering snippets here and there about how glad she was to see her home for the holidays and how proud she was at all her hard work at school. With everything she struggled with over the past few months, it was nice to just be home and with family, with people who supported her.

Which reminded her of Nicole, who despite her insistence that she would be fine outside, was probably more than a little cold by now. Her aunt seemed to have thought the same, looking around for the other two travel companions and frowning when she didn’t spot anyone behind them.

“Don’t you two tell me you left that poor baby Nedley and your friend out in the cold.”

Wynonna waved the comment off, already walking around behind the bar to pour herself a shot (or two, or three), but Waverly knew the comment was fair.

“She insisted, Gus. I tried like hell, but she just wouldn’t budge.”

“Something about family reunion, blah blah blah, not interrupting a moment, blah.” Wynonna provided from behind her new bottle of whiskey.

“I see.” Gus’s face softened, looking almost appreciative. Waverly took it as her cue nonetheless, as went to retrieve her two friends from the bitter winter chill.

As pleased as she was to see Wynonna and Gus not tear at each other’s throats, she just as happy to see Nicole hit it off with her aunt. It probably didn’t hurt that Waverly had been unable to shut up about her all semester, nor her responsible nature and career aspirations. Gus hadn’t ever cared for some of the people she hung around with, namely Champ or Stephanie. It was nice to her finally approve of another friend.

She just hoped that approval would carry over if they ever actually moved past friends.


End file.
